verloren1983: (*facepalm*)
Oh man, I've been so terrible about RL stuff. So here's the cliffsnotes on that, which I'm going to put under a cut because it got really long since it's been a long time. ^_^;;;

Read more... )
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
It's been a while again since I've written, so I figured I'd check in and let those of you who don't follow me in other places know that yes, I'm still alive. See? Alive. :D So what's been happening? A lot of work, a lot of procrastination. I spent the morning sorting out the (admittedly, all over the place) fantasy section of my e-book folder instead of trying to write a story that's due Tuesday. You know, the normal. Oops. XD I also don't have internet at home right now, which complicates matters. This got really ridiculously long, mostly because of the school sections, so I'm just going to section the school stuff off for you guys by cuts. Which I don't normally bother with, but, well... you'll see. XD

☁ In case you're in Hikago fandom and didn't see my spamming, there's a new blind_go mini round out- GO SIGN UP. NOW.

☁ The new Phoenix Wright came out a couple of weeks ago. I feel so behind- I only just barely started case 4. I have Thoughts on it, which are partially good and partially ragey, but I'll hold off on getting too into those until I actually finish the game. So far... it's not that different from the others, concept wise. I can basically boil everything down to a short list of "things I've learned from the Ace Attorney games"
1. Prosecutors get away with EVERYTHING.
2. Don't become friends with a lawyer ever- you'll eventually end up dead or falsely accused of a crime, probably murder.
3. LGBTQ people are ridiculous/offensive/disgusting/only good for comedic relief/figments of your imagination/terrible people/any combination of the above, depending on the particular plot device service they're providing at the time.

☁ Midterms grades were fine- 4.0 for the semester so far. As usual, I just need to keep it there. ajdklsajd.

Wibbling About the Future- Transfer Schools )

Wibbling About the Future- Classes )

Wibbling About the Future- Minors )

Wibbling About the Future- Jobs )

And last but not least... the Salem trip )

31 Day Meme, Day 9

Friday, August 9th, 2013 11:28 pm
verloren1983: (Cute)
9. What are your worst habits?
Not putting things away, ungh. Causes so many other problems down the road. Linked to this is procrastination, which I am a master of, unfortunately. Sigh. Also linked to this is my inability to finish stuff. I get all bored/ADD and I wander off before finishing anything. I'm actually REALLY surprised at myself that I'm still doing this meme. Normally I would've quit WAY before now. XD


☁ Still no word on places. Ungh. I hate people.
☁ Since I've been letting my bed dry and I've been sitting in a corner by my bookcase all day, I figured it was as good a time as any to finally scan all the stuff on that. Recorded book collection is at 298 at the moment, not including what I've purchased for school in the last year and still have, a shelf in the closet I've been using for books, and whatever else I find buried in my room somewhere and haven't found yet. Yeah. It's getting a little scary.
☁ I've also gotten some cleaning done today, which is good, especially considering how much I've been slacking lately. It doesn't feel like I've done much, but the section I've been working on looks significantly better, so there's that? I think I'm thankfully at a point now where working on the room actually produces a VISIBLE result, which makes me feel good. :)

Aaaaand that's all I've got for right now. Until tomorrow~

31 Day Meme, Day 6

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013 09:28 pm
verloren1983: (Default)
6. Your 5 senses right now
Uh, the same five I always have? This is a dumb question.

As far as non-meme stuff, here we go:
☁ My certificate of residence for school has been acquired. I had to spend more time dealing with my mother than I would've liked in order to accomplish this, but whatever, it's done. Now I can pay my bill for school. The plan is to deal with that tomorrow.

☁ Saw an apartment Saturday. Good location, big room, roommates are not super neat freaks, gay friendly, super cute kitten (who spent most of the time pretending that I was a good climbing tree. Good thing I wore jeans. XD The guy was like, "wow, she really likes you already.") It's at the top of my "I can afford this" range, but I'm not sure I'm going to get much better because rent is freaking ridiculous here. He's still showing the apartment, so we'll see what happens. I'm not going to hold my breath. I'm going to text him tomorrow and see what's going on. In the meantime... I should probably make some more phone calls tomorrow too. Ungh. I want to do that about as much as I want a hole in my head. I fucking hate calling people, and of course most of these are like "phone calls only!" YOU GUYS SUCK.

☁ Need to go to old work and talk to Dave about saving boxes for me. Even if I wasn't planning on moving, I would probably still do this, because I'm at a point where I just feel like I'm moving things back and forth to and from the same places in my room, and getting stuff put away in boxes would at least let me put things away neatly in an orderly way instead of haphazardly thrown everywhere.

TL;DR- Family bullshit )

☁ Oh yeah, and did I mention that classes start again on the 26th and I'm both freaked the hell out about it and can't wait to go back? Need to get sleep back in order. It was better and then it wasn't, sooooo. <_< It's not nowhere near as bad as it was at one point, but still not terribly good.

☁ So basically, long story short, I'm super stressed/anxious about EVERYTHING and trying to keep up with my daily cleaning sessions and mostly failing, so. On the upside, it does look considerably better just from what I did today?

☁ I've also been working on a random fic bit I found in my bunny folder. I... don't even know how this happened. But yay writing?

(no subject)

Thursday, August 1st, 2013 06:08 pm
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
☁ Turned in BG. Managed to pull off two fics, somehow, I don't even know how that happened. It was originally all part of the same idea, sort of, but... eh, it's complicated. Anyway. I was Vanessa and wrote two Hikaru and Waya fics- one pointless gen and the other smut. *shrug* I was terribly obvious and didn't bother to hide it. I was hoping that the pairing would throw people off at least a little, but uh, I guess not. XD Guessing didn't turn out too bad, though! 5 out of a possible 8, which is my best showing BY FAR- I have been known to get zero right, after all. Of course, if I'd actually looked a little more closely at some of the hints posted later on, I would've realized that a couple of my guesses were obviously wrong, but whatever. XD

☁ Somehow got talked into trying Naruto again, but of course I was only 7 eps into it to begin with and that was ages ago, so I just started it over. It's. I dunno. Kind of obnoxious. I can see why I didn't really feel a push to continue it before.

☁ The book cataloging is getting ridiculous. I've been taking a break, so there's still everything on my bookshelf at this point plus what's in the closet and whatever else I find that I'm not seeing right now- but the manga should be done, anyway, minus the first 13 of Hikago. I'm up to a total of 174 books and not even close to done (we won't even discuss how much of that is manga). I think I have a problem, you guys. XD Also recently I had decided to try and organize my ebook folder, because that's a huge clusterfuck, and all I can really say about that is... holy GOD, why did I do that to myself? I don't even know how it got like that.

☁ Money stuff for school is mostly taken care of, I'm waiting for the last grant form to go through, but it's nothing that's a huge deal right this split second. Like I can pay my bill and stuff without it, anyway. Re: school stuff, now all I have to do is get my certificate of residence (I'd like to do that tomorrow, tbh), pay my bill (by the 15th, but would like to do it next week to get it done and over with), get my books, and figure out exactly where my classes are and how tight I'm pushing my transport time on a couple. So that's coming along nicely.

☁ As far as RL circumstances... not a lot has changed, for good or for bad, at this point. I've been taking a bit of a hiatus on the cleaning because I've basically felt like shit the last week (yay for being female- not), plus being distracted with other things, see next cloud bullet, but I'm hoping to get back on track in the next couple of days.

☁ So remember how my laptop was overheating and I wasn't sure if it was the heat or something else? It was something else. -_- After some investigation, I discovered that the fan was no longer working. I'm not comfortable taking apart the laptop, since I can't get to the fan without pulling apart the ENTIRE thing (which is stupid but whatever), and it's not worth paying Best Buy $200 bucks to put a new fan in a four year old laptop, soooooo as much as I didn't want to spend the money and didn't want Windows 8... I didn't have a whole lot of choice in the matter. I bought a new one. XD I have named it Phoenix. :3 It was less than the previous one, under 400 before tax, so that wasn't bad. I've been super good about money over the summer, so I'm not going to beat myself up over spending the money or anything. Specs wise, I just wanted something that was at least as good as what I already had for relatively cheap, which was actually more difficult than you might think? Go figure. Sooooo I have another Toshiba- because fuck, I beat Haru all to hell and it still lasted four years, and above all else I did not want a Lenovo (very bad previous experience with IBM, and Kelly having to replace her Lenovo laptop TWICE since March does not help my opinion of them. I told her not to get a damn Lenovo. But nooooo, she didn't want to listen to me. Pfft.) Anyway. I still hate Windows 8, but I knew that already. Classic Shell makes it bearable, fyi if anybody on the flist ends up having to deal with this OS, though I still keep triggering stuff to pop up by accident. Grrr. The keyboard is pissing me off, at least until I get used to it. So there are minor frustrations with it, but that's true of any new device, especially with something like a laptop. Mostly I love it. It does what I need it to do (including connecting to the internet without a problem, which I was nervous about after the netbook), zips along speedily, and so far has handled everything I've thrown at it with grace. (It IS worth noting, though, that the "max temp" on Phoenix is significantly lower than it was on Haru- Haru's was 212, on Phoenix it's 194. Go figure.)

I think my favorite thing about it, though, is that it's a definite upgrade. I've said before that my laptop was hardly state of the art when I got it (and neither is this)- but you know that rating system Windows has? Old lappy was something like 3.3 or 3.5. This is 4.8. In both cases, the score is based off of the graphics card and everything else is AT LEAST a full point higher. When I turned on the Sims to double check that my saves would work, I was like, holy shit, they look like that? O_O It runs so much smoother now, without all the jerkiness and lag, and there's so much more detail. Like wow. Amazing.

Okay, I need to shut up and just post this already, so. Next time~!

(no subject)

Saturday, July 20th, 2013 06:46 pm
verloren1983: (Cookies)
☁ BG- It's um, going. Sort of. There is a not even half baked idea, and there are words, at least? We'll see. <_<

☁ It's been BRUTALLY hot and humid for the last week or so, but thankfully it's about 15 degrees cooler today and the humidity is supposed to FINALLY break overnight, last I heard. Thank god. Seriously, the other day it was fucking 97 with a heat index of 106. And yes, I know to some people that's not a big deal, but I live in freaking upstate NY. IT'S A BIG DEAL HERE. When it's hotter here than in Miami? Or AUSTIN? There's something wrong. I saw a thing on facebook the other day where somebody was like, "I think NY weather is broken" and that about covers it. It was seriously hellish. Kelly went up to the boyfriend's house last night (she even tilted her fan towards me before she left, heh), so I took the opportunity to strip down to my underwear and slept that way. I woke up feeling nice and cool, it was GLORIOUS.

☁ Speaking of heat, my laptop has... not been dealing with it well. Like it turned itself off several times the other day because it was overheating. I'm not entirely sure whether it's the heat/humidity or whether it's something more serious, like the laptop is dying, but in the meantime I'm attempting to find my cooling mat and taking "keep temperature down" measures- blew out the vents/fan/everything I can get to, energy consumption is set to power saver, the battery has been taken out, have the vents pointed at my fan, and I'm trying to run as few things as reasonably possible. Right this split second it's running around 150, which is pretty normal, but again, that's with all that stuff going on AND it's cooler today, soooooo I dunno. I really don't want to buy a new laptop. :/ (Mostly I don't want Windows 8) It wouldn't be AS big of a deal, considering I have the netbook, but home internet hasn't worked on the netbook ever since the cable company changed our router box. :/ I copied a bunch of stuff to the external HD anyway, in any event.

☁ It's mostly been too hot to clean really, but I did get the giant pile of crap in front of the closet cleared out, so I can actually- gasp- get in it now. Shocking, I know. In theory, that should make it easier, but now that I don't have a clear directional goal (like "get to the closet"), I'm feeling a little lost. But I guess... as long as I keep chipping away at it, it doesn't matter, really.

☁ Anime: Not a whole lot happening there. I knew I'd burn myself out eventually, because that's what I -do-, and it seems like that's what's happened. I'm still watching the new stuff as it comes out (Free is still fun, Brothers Conflict is still terrible, Silver Spoon I haven't really made up my mind about yet), and I managed to watch another ep of Tsuritama (it's still weird), but that's really about it. But this is normal. I'll cycle through some other media for a while before I come back to inhaling anime again. ^_^

☁ I did watch a couple of episodes of Doctor Who, so I'm now a few episodes into series 5 now. After seeing a few episodes with 11... I think I like him. :D Also of interest- as 11, Matt Smith is incredibly dorky looking. And not in a good way. He's apparently had a haircut, and he doesn't even look like the same person. Turns out he's totally adorable in a cute nerdy sort of way! O_O *was not expecting that*

☁ Oh, and I played The Walking Dead special 400 Days thing (I don't know if I mentioned it here, but I purchased the download for my xbox, but I won't do that again for season 2- I just don't have the hard drive space on that machine. I'll have to wait on season 2 until they put a disk out. Sadface.) My overall reaction was that I wish they'd picked one or two characters and stuck with them, instead of introducing five in such a short time span. You didn't really get to know anybody, really- though I like what I saw of Wyatt and Russell. Of course, those were the two that decided to opt out at the end. Argh. >_< So I actually have to go through it again... which is okay, because I did some stupid ass shit with Wyatt anyway. Seriously. There's a point where you have the option to try and drag this half-dead guy back to your car or leave him to get eaten by walkers, and for some ungodly reason I was like, yeah, let's drag him. Kelly was watching me play and was like, ".....what are you DOING?" "I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?" Which I guess... is one of the most interesting things about the game, really, since they give you no time to think about your decisions- you just have to go on your gut instinct. I tend to not always think things through to potential consequences, and my decisions definitely tend to lean more towards mercy and helping whoever I can when possible. I'd give examples, but spoilers. :P Which... yeah, can result in some really stupid choices as far as keeping myself/my group alive and safe. Whoops? XD

And on that note, I may or may not lie down for a bit because I have a migraine that doesn't want to go away (usually only napping cures those), and then it's some grownup stuff like laundry and figuring out what to make for dinner, and cleaning. Hopefully working on/finishing this thing for BG. Maybe. XD

(no subject)

Tuesday, July 16th, 2013 11:40 am
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
☁ Tonari- I can't decide what exactly is wrong with Haru, but he's clearly disturbed. I keep coming back to Bipolar and Conduct Disorder (the precursor to Antisocial Personality Disorder, but you have to be 18 to be diagnosed with that, probably because they want to make sure it's not just a rebellious phase before they label you with a basically untreatable disorder XD) Anyway, so I finished it. It's... okay? There were things that bugged me about it. I still think they would've been better off leaving it at two episodes and calling it good. I think the biggest thing for me, though, was that the characters felt lacking. I was missing something there, and I was actually way more interested in Natsume and Sasahara (background) than I ever was in Shizuku and Haru. And even then. Final MAL score: 6.

☁ I've started Tsuritama now. I've seen one episode, and my only reaction currently is basically: O_o Also watched the first ep of Silver Spoon that came out. It's interesting, I guess? Main character is kind of an idiot. I mean. Who doesn't know that chickens poop eggs? Seriously? What's he even doing there, and why doesn't he want to go home? I'm curious about these things. So yeah, it has my attention for the time being.

☁ I didn't really do anything productive Friday-Saturday-Sunday. Friday I went out for the day with my sister. It was hot and humid and gross. I mean, it was okay at first, but after a while I thought I was going to have a heat stroke. Like seriously, I looked like a tomato at one point and I wasn't sunburnt. But yeah. Otherwise, it was cool. We went to the museum and looked at their newest exhibit on the Civil War (and more accurately, New York's role in it), which was pretty damn cool. Had Thai food for lunch (omnomnom). Kelly got incense. We walked around A LOT. So I spent Saturday and Sunday recovering, basically, because I way overdid it (and might've actually had heat exhaustion, that would explain a lot. XD) Monday I did, at least, get those three garbage bags out of my room finally, and I did a cleaning session which produced another. Yesterday, I didn't get anything done again, but that was totally Kelly's fault because she was all, LET'S GO TO DENNY'S, SMOTHERED FRIES SMOTHERED FRIES SMOTHERED FRIES. Soooooo we went to Denny's, and walked around Target and the mall for a while. XD Needless to say, I'm done with Outside for a while except for when absolutely necessary.

☁ I might've gotten a little testy on Tumblr the other day after seeing a post that infuriated me, and went into a two part rant that was basically about how an atheist is not obligated to feel grateful for being given religious platitudes after a death/tragedy, and that doesn't make them an emotionless monster. Um. Yeah. <_< I've apparently been feeling ranty lately. I never did post that thing about TM I showed you guys last time, though, so at least there's that? XD

☁ Aaaand finally, before I forget to mention it- blind_go is back for a mini round! :D Here is info and the support thread. Write something if you can! I need to go bunny hunting...

(no subject)

Friday, July 12th, 2013 05:50 am
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
Things Done Today Yesterday:
☁ Fell asleep around 10pm and woke up at about 3:45am. Well, needs tweaking, but it's a start. ^_^
☁ Ate more than 1k calories. I think. Also had a bottle of water.
☁ Did two cleaning sessions. :D On the upside, I reached my goal of getting to my computer chair! On the downside, I didn't find either my blanket or bag. Sigh.
☁ I did, however, find my computer CD binder and was able to give Kelly a bunch of pictures I had, including a large section of her graduation ones that apparently she didn't have anymore. So I did a good deed. ^_^ (Also, hilariously, I need to clean out this binder a bit. Aside from disks for printers I don't even have anymore, there are encyclopedias from 1995. Yes, you read that right. XD)
☁ Also found my print copy of "On Writing," which I'd thought was lost in a move somewhere but was apparently hiding on the dresser in plain sight the entire time. -_- My book catalogue is up to 79 and I haven't even gotten to my main storages of books yet. These are mostly randomly placed ones that live all over my room. XD Okay, some are from a baby bookshelf, but I wasn't lying when I said I have books EVERYWHERE. ;) I've imported what I've scanned to Librarything, too. Didn't realize I'd lose all of my genre tags, and it tends to put things into weird series lists, both of which are kind of obnoxious. Obviously I have to fix that at some point. XD
☁ Filled two garbage bags, which makes a total of three bags in my room. I didn't take them out, but in my defense, I did take out three bags of garbage that weren't my own, so I feel like I should get a pass on this. XD
☁ I decided that my next anime would be Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun, for the sole reason of spreading out the sports animes and not watching them all at once (Tsuritama will be next), and I'm about four and a half episodes into that. I'm not really sure how to feel about it yet. Basically they could've just stopped at two episodes? I feel like the rest since have just been extraneous. Also, there was a line in the first ep that threw me off and I still haven't really recovered from it. On the other hand, it's kind of cute despite itself? I don't know.

So I'm going downtown for the day, at least that's the plan right now. Need to make some decisions as far as when I'm leaving. I suppose that means stopping messing with librarything and getting up. XD

(no subject)

Thursday, July 11th, 2013 05:01 am
verloren1983: (Cookies)
Admittedly, I spent most of the day alternately napping and watching anime. Whoops. XD I did still get stuff done though!

☁ Went grocery shopping, including a big bag of grapes that went into the freezer after prep work. ^_^ Also got more garbage bags for cleaning. :3
☁ Took out the garbage from yesterday.
☁ Did a session of cleaning. Not the two I wanted, but again, I'm  taking what I can get on that front right now. Filled another garbage bag- mostly clothes in this one. Slowly but surely making progress. Further proof that 20 minutes of cleaning is actually a pretty long time and you can get quite a bit cleared out in that time. (or, in my case, put a teeny dent in the disaster area. XD) Speaking of, did I ever tell you guys about Unfuck Your Habitat? Well, here's the tumblr, which was what gave me the 20 minute session idea and is serving as inspiration. ^_^
☁ Finished Taishou. It's cute, and admittedly I did change my mind a bit about Saburou. He's very adorkable. :P Tomoe ended up being my favorite, which was a little bit of a surprise to me because characters like that tend to annoy me (see Rainbow Dash in MLP:FiM), but I didn't find the ego and bragging as jarring here, for some reason. And I found myself rooting for her. :D Very cute overall. Final MAL score- 7.
☁ Also watched the second episodes of Free! and Brothers Conflict. (Both of which, for the record, are Liz's fault.) Free! still has my interest, and it's basically a shipper's paradise, so there's that. Haru's affinity for water as a running gag continues to be funny. XD Brother's Conflict... I have mixed feelings, but it's only going to be 13 episodes anyway, so whatever, I can deal.
☁ Ate more than 1k calories. Probably ate more than I should've, actually, but for one day, I'm not going to worry about it too much.
☁ 1 bottle of water. ^_^
☁ Obviously I slept. It wasn't without interruption, but whatever. I think the next thing will be trying to get some kind of set schedule going on.

Anyway. On to another day. I'm hoping to carve out a path to my desk chair today, which is asking a lot really, but hopefully it'll happen. The sooner I can at least get in my closet (which isn't that bad), the sooner I can start using that for temporary storage while I'm cleaning/moving things around. Things should start looking A LOT better once I'm not throwing things into whatever spot they'll fit in just for a lack of any other place to put it, you know? I'm also hoping to find my outside blanket (it has a plasticky bottom so that the blanket doesn't get all gross) and cooler bag for Friday. Although they've changed the forecast and it's going to be warmer and there's the possibility of rain. Meh. *fingers crossed*

verloren1983: (*Blush*)
Yes, I know, it's been ages. I think most of you have seen me around, so you know I'm still alive, at least. I initially had an excuse with finals, but uh, that was a while ago, so... basically since then it's just been good old fashioned laziness. Yep. ^_^;;;  So let's get this over with, shall we? XD

Long as per usual, but these are for me anyway, so whatever XD )

So we'll see how much of that actually happens by the end of the summer. ^_~ Knowing me... ah, let's get real, I'll be lucky if I can cross anything off my list. But again, we'll see! Now, I'm going to make myself finish this episode of Kuroko (ugh *whine*) and get in the shower and maybe like... do stuff, I dunno. Maybe. My head hurts like fuck, so I might just sleep or something, who knows. XD

verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
Okay. So I know I owe you guys a legit update entry at some point, but I did want to make sure that I documented this one thing before I inevitably forgot to.  ^_^; So when I got that e-mail that said I'd won that writing award, it came with an invitation to a ceremony for the people being published where everyone would read their stories.  I said I would, because really, how often am I really going to be able to do that? In the moment, I thought it was pretty cool. I didn't consider my social phobia until later. Whoops?

This got longer than I planned... )

(no subject)

Saturday, March 30th, 2013 10:34 am
verloren1983: (Squee)
Break, Vegetarianism, and Writing, Oh My! )
Alright, I think this is PLENTY long enough for the time being- I should really run a couple of errands anyway before it gets too much later, and then work on research paper stuff. Elizabeth I, and then either Dissociative Identity Disorder or Antisocial Personality Disorder, whichever one I eventually decide on. XD

(no subject)

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013 03:20 pm
verloren1983: (Chi) know, I keep trying to post more, and I'll type something up, but then I don't post it and I wait so long that I have to rewrite half of it because it's no longer valid. Whoops. XD

Blah blah blah )

So basically, things are generally going pretty well at the moment. I'll probably be singing another tune in a month when I'm trying to write four different research papers, but eh. XD

Catch up part 1

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013 02:52 pm
verloren1983: (*Blush*)
As per usual, this has been sitting in a file for weeks. Whoops. )

I'll do another post in a minute with specific class stuff- hence the part 1, because I waited so long to post this that I felt it would be too ridiculous for one entry even under a cut- so if you're not interested in that, obviously feel free to skip. ^_^
verloren1983: (Sigh)
- Final call: Holiday card post here (DW) and here (LJ). I am sending these out this afternoon at some point, so they will go out TOMORROW. (Hopefully they'll get where they need to be in time- apologies if they don't. Meant to do it yesterday and didn't manage to leave the house.)

Long, you guys know the drill. )

Mostly random

Monday, December 10th, 2012 07:08 am
verloren1983: (Sigh)
- And clearly I didn't have to worry about that one day, because I then proceeded to mess up NaBloPoMo rather spectacularly. Whoops. XD

- Reminder: Holiday card post here (DW) and here (LJ).

Cut for pictures and stuff )

NaBloPoMo Day 5

Monday, November 5th, 2012 11:24 pm
verloren1983: (Sigh)
You want to know the sad thing? I actually had most of a journal entry typed out on the netbook this afternoon, but I had to go to class and didn't have time to post it. And now I really can't be bothered to go and get it. XD Oh well.

Short Story test today. I think I probably did pretty okay on it, honestly, though I -hate- in class essay exams. But that's really the perfectionist in me talking, since that's the only time I would EVER hand in a rough draft like that. Usually even my rough drafts have been edited at least somewhat, you know? I edit as I go, generally, not as one huge step after I'm done writing. But that's a whole other thing.

I'm trying to remember what was in that damn notepad entry and I'm not coming up with anything. Dammit. Oh well. There's no word minimum here, I just have to post, so we have that covered already. So there. :P

One last thing: to the Americans on the flist- DO NOT FORGET TO VOTE TOMORROW. You guys know how important this is. I may have to drag my ass after I get home at 8pm, but I'm going regardless. So so so important. You guys know I don't generally get into politics, but we need to get as many people out as we can, you know? Do I agree with everything Obama's doing? No. Are we getting screwed either way? Yes. But the thing is.... Romney's screw is bigger. That's basically what it comes down to for me. So. Go vote tomorrow. *gets off soapbox*

Now off to bed. Looooooooong day tomorrow. -_-

NaBloPoMo Day 4

Sunday, November 4th, 2012 11:47 pm
verloren1983: (*facepalm*)
I really should be sleeping. Whoops. XD

Went out with Stef today, which was nice since I haven't seen her in a while. So we had lunch and went shopping. I spent entirely too much money. (Okay, it really wasn't THAT bad, but still.) It was cool though, regardless. I did at least stop myself from getting some squishy yarn- since I wouldn't use it for anything, I just like to dig my fingers into it. It takes my brain to a happy place, okay? Sometimes I swear I was a cat in a former life. XDDD

Also I watched the movie Shelter (very cute gay movie) today and loved it. I rec it highly. <3

Yes, clearly I was productive today. And now I sleep. Maybe. I'm in the middle of another movie, so who knows. XD

(Maaaaan this is why I don't write very often anymore, I have NOTHING TO SAY.)

NaBloPoMo Day 2

Friday, November 2nd, 2012 11:11 pm
verloren1983: (Chi)
I did NOT forget about posting again. <_<

....somehow I feel like this is going to be a pattern. XD

So today was actually not that bad. I had a test in Sociology, but it was no big deal at all- since most of us were sitting there before the start of class, he handed out tests early, and it only took a couple of minutes- note that on test days, when you're done with the test, you leave. The class starts at 3. I was literally done and on my way out the door at 2:58, no lie. So I was able to get home around 4:30 instead of the usual 5:30 for Fridays, which was pretty nice. :D

Also, I get the most awful bunnies on the bus. Just saying.

I feel like there was something else to talk about, but I'm toast at this point, so I will try and remember tomorrow. :P Night all!

(no subject)

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012 02:46 pm
verloren1983: (Cookies)
Okay, first things first- I'm alive. Some of you know that I've been in chat/available on AIM/commenting on things every once in a while. I'm here. I'm reading. I'm just not writing much outside of school work these days, and that apparently includes journals. Whoops. On the upside, this means you get a more general overview instead of a play-by-play. Which is good, because chances are you missed my angsting about basically every test ever, ESPECIALLY the Art History midterm which I was absolutely convinced I failed. I was completely prepared to drop the class. (C, btw- I'm starting to think that he's a very generous grader. XD)

Seriously, I've had some version or other of this in my journal since September 9th. I need to just start posting stuff as it comes up, god. )

(no subject)

Friday, November 11th, 2011 03:45 am
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ You know those moments where you can kind of imagine your head exploding? Yeah. I actually =felt= my brain explode Monday. Well, not literally, obviously, but I felt SOMETHING happen in my head. That's... not good, is it? O_o (Basically, the cause was a severe WTF moment with a coworker. I was seriously like, "Uh... what just happened? O_O")

☁ Faith in humanity- somewhat restored. THANK GOD. I'd say that maybe the defeat in Mississippi will make these idiots rethink this whole "Personhood" thing, but.... my faith in humanity isn't THAT restored. XD

☁ Kinda scary how I hear myself in this video. Not the whole thing, mind. But the part where she's talking about coping mechanisms, and the people that totally shut down? Yeeeeeah. I have actually SAID the phrase she uses. That being said, I don't think it's a coping mechanism for the fear of loneliness. Don't get me wrong, it's definitely a coping mechanism. But it's more as a way of avoiding pain in the first place. She does mention that, but I think the connection to the fear of loneliness is misplaced. Fear is part of it, sure, but that's a fear of rejection, not loneliness. Though maybe that's just me.

☁ Okay, BN, really? =SIX= separate shipments for eleven items is "as few as possible?" Especially when three of those shipments have one or two books? WTF? I really don't get how these companies work sometimes.

☁ It's strange how sometimes you can have a strong reaction to some inanimate object you've never seen before. I saw this journal in the mall the other day and it just... pulled at me. I don't even KNOW. All of a sudden I was just trying really hard not to cry (how embarrassing would THAT have been, jeez), and GUH. Butterflies have an instant association in my head with my grandmother, as she used to call me Butterfly. I don't know whether it's that she's been on my mind subconsciously or what, that made me react the way I did, but... needless to say, I purchased the journal. (Luckily it wasn't that expensive- it's actually cheaper in Hallmark than it is on Amazon, go figure.) I've decided that I'm going to use it as a "school journal" when I go back. Appropriate, in a way. ^_^

Mostly foodstuffs~

Thursday, October 27th, 2011 02:14 pm
verloren1983: (Cookies)
☁ The problem with regional/cultural foods is that the little secrets that are traditionally used to cook such food can be left out of the cooking instructions. It's simply taken for granted that people KNOW certain things. I recently learned this with basmati rice. I've been having a lot of trouble when trying to cook it, which drove me to google to try to figure out what was happening. Aside from the obvious option of "ur doin it wrong," I was thinking maybe there was something wrong with my rice cooker. This, of course, led me to this: You're supposed to rinse/soak it first. Honestly? I'd never heard of such a thing before. I've made rice of both the brown and white variety with absolutely NO problems. So this was strange to me, but I tried it anyway, with a mixture of both white and brown basmati rice just to see, plus a little oil for good measure. And you know what? It freaking works. I think I could've used more water for the brown (should've thought about that, regular brown rice needs more water too), though it's still edible. Just a little tougher than I'd like. The white was PERFECT. Go figure.

(Also, Ai: ♥♥♥♥♥. I tried the chicken rice thing you gave me- holy CRAP that's good.)

☁ In other food news, this recipe for stuffed shells sounds AMAZING (and ridiculously low in calories- just under 83 calories per shell!) and I'll have to try it at some point with a few swaps. But I'm used to doing that sort of thing due to my tastes. ^_^

☁ LEGO Harry Potter- Okay, it's cute, and the video scenes are funny. I'll give them that. Unfortunately, that's about all I can give them. The first thing that's a bit of an annoyance is that if you don't know the story, you will have absolutely NO IDEA what's going on. None. Obviously I know the story, so it's not a deal breaker by any means, but it's still irritating. The deal breaker? It's BORING. From what I can tell, you basically go around and collect shit. Which is okay at first, but it gets old really fast. I found it really disappointing, to be honest.

☁ Trying a brownie recipe I've had for a while but haven't attempted yet- white chocolate raspberry swirl. I'm not sure about this one. :/ For one thing, it uses more cream cheese than the freaking cheesecake ones, which is just strange. Also I have a naughty habit of tweaking recipes as I go, adjusting them for my own taste, and I'm afraid I put in too much raspberry extract. Meh. We'll see what happens when I bring the pan to work.

☁ I've been trying to think of what I can do for the pointless little "extra" in the holiday cards this year- especially since I didn't do any last year, because I waited too long. (Hence me thinking about it early.) I -think- I might have something... but we'll see. Experimentation will be needed. And a trip to Michaels.

(no subject)

Sunday, October 16th, 2011 02:47 pm
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
☁ Kirby's Epic Yarn- Really adorable platformer. It's actually almost too cutesy- it really has a "kid's game" feel. Playing it a while, I think it's definitely meant to be kid friendly, both in aesthetics and gameplay. There were times it was a little too much. Despite that, though, it's actually more challenging than I thought it would be. It's not HARD, by any stretch, at least the bit of it that I played... but it does throw some situations at you that make you go "hmmmm." It does have auto-save, which I generally dislike, but since it saves every time you complete a level, I can't really complain. That's more than I would save left to my own devices anyway. This one's definitely going in the "get at some point" pile. That being said: it's apparently a very short game (I played it for a few hours and was a roughly halfway), so I wouldn't suggest paying full price for this. Wait until the price comes down more. Just saying.

Next: Persona 4! :D (Which I'm really trying just for Naoto. XD)

☁ Spent my Amazon gift card. What kills me- I was determinedly not going to get books, because I have the Barnes and Noble gift cards... what did I get? Books. XDDD I did grab a movie and a game (Better Than Chocolate and Okami), but the rest? Yeah. <_< Three volumes of manga, a scholarly book on fandom recced by Lish, and my FAVORITE choose your own adventure book from when I was a kid. ^_^;;; (Though in my defense, BN didn't have four out of five) I only ended up spending $6.72 out of pocket, which is awesome. The only thing that's annoying, though, is that it's three different sellers, so three different shipments. Meh. Plus at some point I should get the box and booklet for Okamiden from Gamefly. Plus Persona 4. So uh. The post office is going to hate me for a little while. ^_^;;; At least I didn't do the BN stuff too?

☁ Had a weird conversation with a coworker the other day. I was talking to her about the school thing (I figure the more people I talk to about it, the higher the likelihood I'll actually do it so I don't look like an idiot), and she'd asked what I'd be going for. That led to talking about how where my interests lie... English, history, psychology, philosophy, gender/queer/women's studies... yeah. "You want fries with that?" And then I was kinda thinking about it, and I was like, "I was always good at Chem though. My teacher told me I kept busting the curve." "You could be a pharmacist!" "......I'm trying to get OUT of here, not go to school just to come back. O_o" "No, you could work in a lab. YOU COULD CURE CANCER!"  Oh, Amy. XDDDD

verloren1983: (Smile)
☁ The new Donkey Kong Country- it's fun (I'm definitely purchasing it at some point), but it IS a bit of a departure from the previous ones, gameplay wise. Not being able to throw Diddy: fail. The difficulty level was also higher than I expected it to be, straight from the getgo. Then again, in all fairness, there are many levels in the original ones that I can play backwards and forwards at this point, so... they're easy to me NOW. Doesn't mean they were the first time I played them. XD I was always BOSS at the minecart levels and shooting barrels though, and the minecart level in the first world is DEFINITELY harder than those used to be.

If you like the first three, I think you'll like this one- if you've never played the first three, you can either get them for the GBA or download them to your Wii. I would suggest trying one of those first (my favorite is 2, personally), rather than spending the cash on the new one. $10 is better than $40, yeah?

☁ Okamiden- CUTEST. GAME. EVER. ADJKLSJDLK. (Here, have a trailer.) I totally hit "keep" on this one- it's only about 20 cents cheaper on Amazon anyway, so I might as well keep the cartridge that has my save.

Next up on the Gamefly queue: Uh, Kirby's Epic Yarn, apparently.

Absolutely disgusting. There is NO excuse for this- the man physically assaulted a student. He should be in jail, and he shouldn't be allowed to work with children ever again. Period. You don't touch kids.

☁ Also I finally got Suikoden V back. I actually didn't end up having to ask- when I went up to Stef's last week, she was like, "Oh, here!" and handed it to me. She is apparently still working on Kingdom Hearts, which is fine. As long as her room didn't eat it, we're good. XD I think I'm going to have to restart Suikoden V, though, as I only remember bits and pieces of what the hell was going on. Buuuuut that's what I get for loaning the game out when I wasn't finished with it. :/

☁ I just found out about a really neat thing my library has- they're part of an online site that lets you download music, legally, for FREE. You're limited to three a week, and only what they've got (read: Sony), but hey. Free is free is free.

☁ There are, apparently, emulators that allow you to play GB, GBC, NES, and SNES games on a DS R4. O_o I don't know, somehow it just never occurred to me that you could do that? It's probably like the other R4 stuff- some of it works great and other stuff doesn't- but I tried a couple of games and they seem to be alright, though. Might be good for the stuff that Nintendo won't put in their online stores to purchase for current consoles. *cough*WhoFramedRogerRabbit*cough*

☁ I recently tried two new kinds of rice- well, not new really, but new to me. Jasmine rice, which is quite yummy though I wouldn't want to have it all the time; and Basmati rice, which I'd never even heard of before I saw it in the store a couple of days ago. The grains are really long so it almost looks shredded, and it tastes really freaking delicious. It doesn't even need any salt or sauce or anything. I think I need to find the brown version and buy a bag. :3

(no subject)

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011 10:03 pm
verloren1983: (Sigh)
☁ I've gone through the BG pieces. (Yay for Opera Mini at work? ^_^;;; ). As far as guessing, I have a chart, and have marked off 4 people with varying levels of certainty. There's one I'm half expecting to change before I submit my guesses. And no Ai, I haven't found you yet- though I'm going to think about it some more. I still have a little time before I have to put in guesses.

☁ The mosquitoes have been out with a vengeance. They're normally not around this late, but it's been unseasonably warm for late September, plus there's been all this water between Irene and the massive amount of rain we had this summer... yeah. The fucking things are EVERYWHERE. One bit me on the forehead today. ;~; She got me good, too. It bit me, and a little later Stef was like, "uh, your forehead is REALLY red." I went to go look- there's a huge swollen bump on my freaking head, not even kidding. UGH. I hate being a bug magnet. STOP LOVING MY BLOOD, DAMN YOU!

☁ Apparently both Lane Bryant and Capital One have decided to increase my credit limit. LB is now $200 ($100 before, though $200 will be more convenient on the rare occasions that I do use it, because LB is expensive) and CO is $500 when it was $200 before, even though I think the most I've ever had on a bill was around $100. I know they're trying to trick me into spending more money (which is not going to work), but kind of nice anyway. It's good to know that it's there if something happens and I need it. ^_^

☁ I saw a guy from high school the other day... which happens every once in a while, it's an unfortunate side effect of working where I do. I never got along with this particular guy, and he's apparently just as much of a dick as ever. He acted like I was some kind of traitor because I don't live in my hometown anymore. Like seriously? Anybody who ever knew me even a little bit would've known I was never going to stay there. I'm from Smalltown, USA- very quiet, closed off community. It was like being in a little cocoon protected from the world outside. (Additionally, my parents kept us in an additional "bubble", which Stef and I joke about now. That's neither here nor there, but it does explain a lot about my personality, I think. Sheltered x2.) Even now, sometimes I'll get blindsided by something that is apparently normal everywhere else, but is totally alien to me. My hometown is too restrictive, too far away from everything. It was a nice place to grow up as a young kid, and I visit for a couple of days now and then, but it's not someplace I want to live again. When I hit my teens it really started to be more suffocating than protective, and it hasn't changed that much. (Though the one small general store does actually make really good subs. I make a point to get one when I visit. :3) But seriously, judging me because I'm not up there anymore? As if it actually matters to me what he thinks of me? Pfffffffffft. He doesn't even know me. It just irritates me that he was being such a asshole, it was totally uncalled for, you know?

☁ Also, I'm watching Doctor Who, and there's this woman in this episode, her name is apparently Sophia Myles... I'm not normally into blondes that much, but HOLY FUCK:

(The picture is not from Doctor Who, but whatever.) Just. Wow. I could look at her all day. And I mean that in a totally not creepy, non-stalkerish way. <_<

(no subject)

Thursday, September 22nd, 2011 03:58 am
verloren1983: (*facepalm*)
☁ Urgh LJ. >_< Issues. Though it seems better now than it did earlier today- it's loading, at least.

☁ There's a netflix-like site for video games. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?! It's called Gamefly. I predict that this will be either the stupidest thing I've ever done or the most brilliant thing I've ever done. Probably the former. On the upside, it means I can try out a whole bunch of stuff without spending a fortune. ^_^; And when I feel like it's not worth it anymore, I can just cancel it, no problem. The subscription is kind of expensive ($16 a month), so probably I'm going to have the account active off and on as it's warranted.

[For anyone who might be curious- Epic Mickey seems interesting, but the camera and controls are frustrating as hell. You can't tell where the hell you're going (or supposed to be going) half the time. You'll be in the middle of trying to jump and the camera will whirl around with no warning, making you fall to your death. Not cool. I put it in the mailbox this afternoon, entirely glad I didn't buy it. Good in theory, bad in execution.]

☁ I somehow managed to squeak [info]blind_go in at the last minute. (Literally. I sent the e-mail at 11:59pm, no lie.) I really should've defaulted. It's pointless and all over the freaking place and just. UGH. Haaaaate. I procrastinated until just before and you can tell (and not just by the typos). I'm honestly kind of afraid to look at the comments on it. There are three other fics in various stages of "incomplete" sitting on my desktop, too, but those just weren't going anywhere or had no hope of being done in time. One in particular wanted to be a long thing. Meh.

Haven't actually decided whether or not to put up a guessing post this time, as I'm probably horrifically obvious and I already owe SO MUCH CRAP from previous rounds and various other things it's ridiculous. Hmm. :/ Also I've read a few things, but certainly not the entire list. I just haven't felt like it. Maybe tomorrow. Or something. It's not like I don't read quickly, so it's not a huge deal.

☁ I ended up going to both Saturday festivals, the more local one in the morning. There was a vendor there who makes his own candles and this shit was SO GOOD, I swear to god. I wanted almost everything. I did limit myself to two votives and a big one. I also got a pack of 15 yummy incense sticks for $1 at another vendor. Probably would've bought more but the guy was kind of rude. I went to Irish Fest a bit later. Honestly? It was lame. ^_^;;; It seems SMALLER now, which sucks. I did get a cool dreamcatcher from a sweet Spanish lady (Irish Fest. Go figure.) and her adorable 5-ish year old daughter, and a pair of earrings. Also over the course of the day there were fried dough sticks and ribbon chips and hot dogs, none of which I should've had, but eh. I probably won't bother going next year. Too bad.

☁ Birthday was fun. Got entirely too drunk, but I was able to sleep and recover without having to haul my ass into work, so it's all good. I had dinner with Stef- apparently Olive Garden does carry out? It cut what would've been a 40 minute wait in half and we just ate at my place. Good to know. You still get salad (with their amaaaaaazing Italian dressing in a container) and bread sticks and everything. :D :D :D :D :D

I do need to start spending some money here, though... I still have $50 in gift cards for Barnes and Noble from CHRISTMAS, got another $25 for my birthday, and then Erin sent me a $50 e-gift card for Amazon (I didn't even know you could do that. O_o). Uh. Yeah. How did that even happen?
verloren1983: (Chi)
☁ Finished My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Yeah, yeah, I know. Guilty pleasures, alright?). The sad thing? It took me 25 episodes to realize that Rainbow and Applejack have the same VA. *facepalm* WTH, self.

☁ The weather's been absolutely freaking GORGEOUS the last couple of days. Which, apparently, is normal after a hurricane (but since they downgraded it to a tropical storm before it got here, does it count?), but it's just totally bizarre to me. O_o

☁ Theory of a Deadman played nearby today. *wail* WHY DO I ALWAYS FIND OUT ABOUT THIS STUFF AT THE LAST MINUTE OR AFTER IT'S OVER? Vertical Horizon was here a month or so ago and I didn't find out about that till way later. -_- Bah.

☁ Someone my mom works with gave her a whole crapload of hand-me-downs for me. I finally went through it all yesterday- some decent stuff. A bit over 1/3 of it is either something I wouldn't be caught dead in or doesn't work for me AT ALL. Lots of jeans. Most of them are too long, but that's not anything new. I'm certainly not going to complain about free clothes. \o/

☁ There's a shuttle bus from the mall to Irish Fest next month. That is... actually doable. Sooooooo I'm seriously thinking about going now. Especially since I have yet to decide what I want to DO on my vacation aside from going out for my birthday, which is kind of a given. I should've known, really. I'm incredibly indecisive. Given so many options, my brain shut down on the subject. Basically, it screamed "I don't KNOW!", curled up in a ball, and refused to make any kind of decision. Pffft. Helpful, that.

☁ Cool new links: Everyone is Gay (Seriously great. Watch their videos. They're love. I also might have a little bit of a crush on Dannielle. XD) and Stageit (You can watch live mini concerts that artists set up online. Obviously interest depends on who's playing and you still have to show up at a specific time, but no travel, no crowds, no annoying people screaming in your ears, no standing for hours on end. You can just sit in front of your computer in your PJ's. HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THAT? I totally bought a ticket for Bradley James of Five Times August on the 6th. :P).

(no subject)

Thursday, August 18th, 2011 05:22 am
verloren1983: (Cookies)
☁ Via Lish: A very well written article that explains why throwing out religious platitudes to an Atheist while they're grieving can be offensive to them. Before I get into any of this, I should possibly clarify for some of you, since I don't generally talk about religion- I'm an Atheist. Well. More accurately, I'm an odd Atheist/Agnostic mix, meaning that while I absolutely don't believe in God or Heaven or Hell or any of that, I'm also willing to admit that there's really no way of knowing for sure, one way or another. I'm cool with other religions as long as someone's not trying to convert me or it's not being shoved down my throat. It's not something I make a big deal of because it's not something that affects my life on a daily basis. Anyway. This was so not the point. Onward!

I had a conversation with Lish about this, which I'm not going to totally rehash, but to me it basically boils down to respecting other people's beliefs. A lot of people don't understand Atheism, and for many of these, it's just not on their radar at all. It's a thoughtlessness. They assume, well, it would be comforting to ME, so it must be to THEM. Nevermind that "I'm sorry for your loss" is just as easy to say, and offering whatever assistance you can will mean more. Personally, I'm in the "it doesn't bother me that much" camp, in general, unless they go on about it forever or I hear it a thousand times in ten minutes. I get the meaning behind it, and I appreciate it, even though it doesn't help. Though the whole "god's will" thing is an exception- that IS hurtful and offensive, and I seem to remember walking away from people who have said that to me. The bottom line here: be considerate and respectful of the person grieving. That's all. And isn't that true regardless of who they pray to (or don't pray to)? (*cough* I just totally wrote "prey" instead of "pray". Nice Freudian slip there, Ver. XD)

This is too cute. I don't even like kids, and this made me want to hug him. The parents, too. He's a lucky kid to have such accepting and open-minded parents. That being said, assuming it's not something he ends up growing out of later- knowing you're gay at six? Just. Wow. O_o

☁ I read this book yesterday that is, for some reason I have yet to figure out, bringing a couple of original muses back to the foreground of my mind. I haven't thought about them, or their story, in ages. The book isn't even related to the story in any way, except one character's tendency to overthink things. WTF brain?

I don't know, maybe I should look at it again. I stopped due to a nasty case of writer's block- I got two characters in a particular situation and couldn't figure out how to get them out of it- but maybe if I approach it from a different angle? The other problem was that I found that the more I wrote, the more I -despised- my main character. The different angle I'm thinking of would solve that as well, because it would shift the main focus from the annoying little brat to someone I actually like. The only problem is that originally, the POV shifted between four different main-ish characters, with the one I call the main as the hub basically. Changing this causes a whole bunch of other issues as far as things being shown. I guess I'll have to try and figure it out at some point.

☁ I read a lot of m/m fiction. (I know that comes as a shock to you all.) It's a genre that's very hit or miss, from my experience. I've read some wonderful things. I've also read things that never should've seen the light of day. Quality of writing is all over the place- not just with things like characters, but with basics like GRAMMAR and PUNCTUATION. I swear to god, some of these editors need to be fired. Anyway. While, obviously, mistakes happen regardless of genre (nobody's perfect), I've NEVER seen this kind of lack of editing or grasp of the basics in ANY other genre.

This does have a point, I swear. I wrote a review on Goodreads of a book recently- the novel was fabulous, by the way, and I said as much- where I mentioned that my expectations had not been terribly high, due to previous experience. Another reader asked me why, and after I explained, she pretty much jumped all over me. Uh... OBVIOUSLY the quality of the book is going to depend on the quality of editing and the ability of the author, regardless of genre. I know that, I'm not a moron. It just seems that there are lesser quality editors at m/m publishers. Or, also possible, is that certain m/m publishers put quantity over quality. I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE MY OPINION, LEAVE ME ALONE, WOMAN! The best part? She hasn't even read the book in question. So now, according to her, she's going to have to read it because I held up up as an example of good writing. Great. Now if she doesn't like it (And there's a good chance she won't. Looking at the handful of books we have in common, we have VERY different tastes.), then she's going to be up my ass about how I don't know what I'm talking about or whatever. Wonderful. Why do people have to pick fights over stupid shit?

A long one~

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011 09:32 pm
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
Sign ups for Round 12 of [info]blind_go are up. As is the support thread, which is almost empty and quite lonely at the moment. ;~; I have yet to do the rest of the stuff I owe from the last round. *headdesk* And let's not even talk about the rest of the crap I owe. SOB. I did get pinged for a bunny. Unfortunately, I can't use it for any of the owed prompts. I think. *stares at list* Hrm. I'll have to think about that. Might look in the bunny folder too and see if there's anything in there I can work with. Probably not- most of the stuff in there is in the "evil bunny" category, hence it being shoved away in a folder that I try not to look at. :/

☁ Good news: The pendant I ordered came in! It's awesome!
Bad news: Guess what doesn't fit the leather cord I already had? Yeah. The loop at the top is pretty small and it can't get past the metal bits of the cord. I did manage to scramble up a chain for it, and that will work as a temporary solution, but meh. The chain turns my skin green, so I'll have to come up with something.

All in all, I really have to pimp this site. First of all: Five dollar coupon! They have lots of stuff (not just dragons), from pagan jewelry to crosses, celtic to kanji. They shipped SUPER FAST- I ordered on July 29th, but it was around 11pm, so really July 30th. I got it today. Five days. And the pendant is really amazing looking. Even Kelly said it was gorgeous- shocked the hell out of me because she's not into dragons AT ALL. It really is a beautiful piece and I'm quite enamored with it.

☁ Scored a gorgeous Orly nail polish at work for $1.75 (they're normally almost $8). It's called Royal Velvet and is a bluish purple depending on the light. Totally loving it, which is both a good and a bad thing. Good because yay polish! Bad because it's on clearance, so obviously we won't be carrying it anymore. But if it hadn't been on clearance I wouldn't have bought it anyway- I refuse to spend that much on nail polish EVER. I don't care how pretty it is. That being said, this is my first "higher end" nail polish (highest I ever went before was Sally Hansen, usually I buy NYC kind of stuff)... I can't say that I can really tell the difference. Which just supports my view of not spending a lot of money on this stuff, you know?

Also got a pack of stencils for nail art. That didn't go so well. First couple were fine, but then when I removed the built up polish, the stencil curled up and wouldn't uncurl, and it wouldn't lay flat properly to use it again. Meh. I might return it if I remember to later.

☁ I figured out something on Monday which might explain why I've been crawling up the walls- I've only used three days of vacation time. IT WASN'T EVEN ALL AT ONCE. And I never call out unless I'm dying, so there's been no sick time either. So seriously, the last proper vacation I had was last October. It is now AUGUST. Gee. That might explain a few things. On the upside, this means that having the time available to take off around Thanksgiving when Erin comes to visit is absolutely not going to be a problem. ^_^;

I was planning on taking my birthday off anyway, like I do every year. (Hey. I had to go to school almost every year because of when it falls. Too late for summer vacation EVER, too early to hit a break, snow day, or even a freaking field trip. Now that I have the option, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do on my birthday.) SO... might take a week off or something there. I'm kind of thinking I want to go somewhere, though, even if it's just for a few days (because hotels are expensive, yo). Not somewhere too terribly far, since I don't really want to deal with the plane thing if I can help it. So... maybe NYC or Lake George or Philly. Irish Fest is that weekend, but that's in Ballston Spa now. Eeew. I don't know, I have about a month and a half to think about it and do some research. Figure out if can even swing it, financially. We'll see.

☁ Pye got me thinking about old movies/shows last night. Nostalgia~ So! Here are a few things that I was thinking about!
My Little Pony: Escape from Katrina- This is actually the ONLY thing I remember seeing of MLP as a kid. Kind of strange. I don't remember the OP in the beginning, either.
Serendipity the Pink Dragon- Originally a Japanese anime, which I never realized as a kid. OH MY FREAKING GOD the dubbing is terrible (the surprised!noises Bobby makes when Serendipity hatches out of her egg sound like porn, no lie. I had to turn it off. XD), but... MY CHILDHOOD. I loved this movie as a Little Ver. :D
Aladdin and the Magic Lamp/Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp- Another anime that I didn't know was an anime at the time. More bad dubbing, but I've heard worse.
Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer- Kind of like MLP, the only thing I remember from this franchise. Once you get past the singing in the beginning, it's actually still amusing to watch.

verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
☁ LJ: You suck. Just saying. FB seems to be having issues as well. The latter I don't care so much about, but LJ being down for two days is a giant pain in the ass. Grrr.

☁ My hands have been a bit dry the last week or so, which isn't normal for me. I think it's the heat, which finally broke, but it's been SO terribly hot here- pushing 100 (that's 37.8 for you celcius using folks). I know that's not that much for this time of year in some places, but in upstate NY, that's INSANELY HOT. The heat's supposed to come back later this week though, yaaaaaay. -_- At any rate, I grabbed a little tube of cocoa butter, so hopefully that will help. And hopefully I can ignore the fact that the smell of the stuff reminds me of a bad summer job I had right after high school. Whoops.

☁ I seem to have lost my keys. I have my spare set, so it's not like I'm locked out of anything, but it's still not good. When I came home from work yesterday I realized I didn't have them, but I can't find them at work, either. I hope I didn't drop them somewhere, but that's looking more and more likely. UGH. >_<

☁ For anybody that didn't hear, Borders is closing ALL of their stores now. I can't say that it's a surprise at this point, but it DOES suck. I mean... that's half the reason to go to the mall by me- and it's the only bookstore there. So much for my entertainment while Kelly spends ages in Victoria Secret. Boo. On that note, though, I should probably try to get over there tomorrow (*cough* later today *cough*) to see what they have left as far as clearance stuff... may be able to score some deals. If not, well, at least I tried. Might check out jewelry because I'm CONSTANTLY losing earrings or having them fall apart on me. There's also a new store that had some really cool looking dreamcatchers. The only potential problem there is. Um. Reaching them. Because I'm a midget. <_< And I hate hate HATE asking for help for things like that. Meh. We'll see.

☁ Had a song ping me, so I'm writing a little bit again. It sucks, but it's something. Also I finished making up the rest of the 101 in 1001 list that starts on the 30th. Hopefully this time I'll do more of the list. ^_^;;;

Weight related, cut for those not interested. XD )

☁ Suikoden:
Short this time, I've still been procrastinating finishing it. )

(no subject)

Sunday, July 24th, 2011 06:27 am
verloren1983: (Aww Crap)
☁ Been in more of a reading mood than a video game mood the last few days. Which is fine- I have a lot of unread books- but I strongly suspect that I'm procrastinating. I know I'm getting to the end of Suikoden II and I don't want it. ;~; As it is, I explored the first available bad ending- Shu slapping Riou is FANTASTIC. Also there was a little bit of confusion on seeing Georg. Suikoden timelines are confusing. Somehow I thought V took place not that long after IV, but uh. Definitely not the case, apparently. (Eternal love for Suikosource and their timeline. <3)

That being said, there's apparently a theory that the timeline jumps around from game to game because we're actually following Viki's teleportations, so it's in chronological order to her. It's as good of a reason as any. ^_^

I should probably quit procrastinating, though. After all... there's still III that I never got very far into (I believe it was at the first character change, as a matter of fact). I should probably give it another shot. ^_^;;; Or IV, which I'm at the end and can't seem to beat the last god damn boss (there's no way a TREE should kick my ass that badly! >(  ). Or V, which I was about halfway through and stupidly loaned it out, and have yet to get it back (along with the first Kingdom Hearts). Meh.

☁ Bills: I always think the credit card(s) are due about 2 weeks earlier than they actually are, which is both a good and a bad thing. Good because it means I've never been late for a payment. Bad because right around the 20th of every month I freak out because I think I've missed the due date. I have the 15th stuck in my head for some reason when it's the 28th. I should probably stop that. XD

☁ It's been brought to my attention that TokyoPop/Blu has gone under. I wonder if I should hurry up and get the rest of the series that I'm missing? ^_^;;; Looking through my manga, though, makes me realize that I was following a lot more of their stuff than I knew. Five, as a matter of fact: Loveless, Junjou Romantica, Gravitation, Fruits Basket, and Chibi Vampire. Three of those are complete, but unfortunately, those are the ones I'm most behind in. Fortunately, the two that aren't are popular enough that they'll likely get picked up by another publisher. If I was to get everything that I needed up through current volumes, I'd need to buy... 34 volumes. Christ. (For the curious: 1 Junjou, 11 Gravi, 13 Furabura, and 9 Chibi. I'm up to date on what's been released of Loveless in English.) Out of those, though, the ones I care about the most are the Fruits Basket, Junjou Romantica, and Chibi Vampire, in that order. I still have $50 worth of gift cards to Barnes and Noble from Christmas- maybe I should use those to work on that. Then again, they're a hell of a lot cheaper on Amazon...

(no subject)

Thursday, July 21st, 2011 07:04 am
verloren1983: (*facepalm*)
Drunken antics. Aren't I too old for this? )

Also, I know it might seem like I'm going out a lot, but that's really just because I don't post that much. XD It's every few weeks, generally. We've gone out twice since Pride weekend. So honestly, not that often. I just don't want people to be worried, you know? I swear I'm not turning into an alcoholic. ^_^;;;

☁ The fan next to my bed died. :( Which means I have to replace it, because I run hot all the time and I can't sleep properly when I'm overheated. Hence me being up at 7am. UGH.

☁ Apparently everyone at work thinks Mary and I are dating, which is funny bordering on hysterical. She's hot, yes, but I would NEVER date her and we both know it. I know her too well- she's a chronic cheater and that's something I'm completely unwilling to put up with in a relationship. Still. Funny. People continue to make up significant others for me out of my friends even in adulthood. XD

☁ There's the most god awful HP fic showing up on my flist (through a comm, not actually someone I'm friends with). The mechanics aren't TOO bad, but the mains are so blindingly OOC that it makes me want to stab things. And yet... I keep reading it as it gets posted. What the hell is wrong with me?

☁ Saw this in a store and thought it was really cool- apparently there are all different versions of it too. The one in the mall was cheaper though. Also, this pendant is totally awesome and I plan on getting one when I get my first biweekly paycheck next week. Especially since one of the stone options is Tiger's Eye. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

☁ More Suikoden stuff:
Nevermind that there's like... two people that have any interest in this. Oh well. That's what cuts are for. XD )

(no subject)

Friday, July 15th, 2011 01:06 am
verloren1983: (Chi)
☁ When I was in 8th grade, we did a video of our year for our English class. My friends and I did a lot of the work for it, because we were geeks like that. :P Anyway, there was drama surrounding that which I'm not getting into right now; the point is that very few people got a copy of that tape. Seven including myself, if I remember correctly. I found the tape again recently, so I decided I would get it put on a DVD. That way I could have it, put it on my computer, do... something with the VHS (I'm not sure what though, it feels wrong to destroy it. :/) It came back Monday. I'd hoped that the quality would be better, but the fact is that we are talking about a 15 year old VHS here. Realistically speaking, it's as good as I could've hoped for... though holy cow, there's a lot of typos. Extra cool is that apparently they have a thing going on at the moment where they send you a free extra DVD. Didn't actually need it, but hey, I gave it to Stef. ^_^

There was also a video I did before I moved the first time, of the apartment I grew up in and at school and stuff. Too long in places, but overall amusing, at least to me. Probably boring as hell to most people. Totally worth it. :D

☁ The home video did make me realize something, though- why the hell was I not ever tested for ADD as a kid? Seriously. I always thought it was an adult onset thing, and when I told my mom the theory, she said that I was always like this, the being easily distracted by shiny and not able to keep my attention on anything for long (books seem to be the singular exception- even then, I will often be reading two or three books at once, and have been for as long as I can remember). I didn't actually believe her until I started watching the video, and 16 year old Ver kept getting distracted by EVERYTHING HUMANLY POSSIBLE. Holy crap. It'll be fine and then all of a sudden... "Light!" or "Kitty!" or what have you. And if someone else is in the room, forget about it. >_<

Then again, I still haven't been tested, I just operate under the assumption that I'm ADD. (Apparently ADHD-PI, actually. Of DSM-IV's list, where six "symptoms" are required for a diagnosis, I have eight. Seriously, the wiki page explains so much about my life, except for the trouble in school part. I managed to escape that bit because I worked really hard to get that positive attention. Middle child syndrome. XD) I can't be bothered to do anything about it, though. It's annoying, but it doesn't have a HUGE negative effect on my daily life, so I've never felt like it was worth making a big deal about to a doctor or anything.

This sounds like a fantastic opportunity, assuming it's not some sort of elaborate scam. The biggest things are that one, I would need to be able to take three and a half months off. Yeah, not happening. Two, it's 11 days over the stay allowed without a visa. So I would need a Japanese visa. By September. I don't even know if that's possible. It's a nice idea though, and I would love to do it, but guh.

☁ I'm not much for singing shows, but I did see some of the auditions for The Voice, though I didn't watch it after that. I found out recently that it was over, so of course I looked up who won- turns out it was my favorite! Yay! Seriously, I could listen to his audition all day. Incredible voice. Funny thing about it is that the studio recorded version isn't as good. Go figure.

Sadly, my other favorite apparently didn't make it into the top 8. Boo. Too bad, he has a great rock voice (even though he was singing a country song).

☁ More Suikoden II reactions, in no particular order!
There ARE spoilers in this one, so uh. If you don't want to be spoiled, don't look under the cut. :D )

(no subject)

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011 06:10 am
verloren1983: (Aww Crap)
☁ When I purchased FMA, I ended up with the first season in one part and the second season in two. There's just one problem with this- somebody dropped the ball on where exactly seasons ended when they changed from two sets a season to one, because there's three episodes that are missing right in the middle of the two. It's been a sore spot for me since I discovered it. I would just leave it and not give them anymore money, but  the gap drives me CRAZY. Now rightstuf has the season single box sets in the bargain bin- $25. That would give me those three episodes and I would FINALLY have a complete set of the anime. Plus they have Loveless for $15. *_* I grabbed Kashimashi for $20 too, while I was at it- I only needed another $10 for free shipping when shipping would cost me at least $11, so I figured I might as well. Shouldn't really be spending the money at the moment, but... oh well. I was overdue on some anime spending. Oh! And they're putting out Tales of the Abyss! *squee* They've only JUST started doing it, though, so I'll wait on that one. I hate having incomplete sets. Yanno, if you couldn't tell by the whole FMA rant. XD

☁ My 101 in 1001 list ends on the 29th of this month... I've done a little more than a quarter of the list. <_< That's sort of pathetic. So a lot of them are carrying over to the next list, though some are getting dropped altogether. I've got 79 things on the list so far. I have to figure out a bunch of not-obvious stuff to put on this thing...

☁ The wireless on my printer works again after not working for ages. Apparently all I had to do was reinstall it. Yaaaaaaaaaay. <3

☁ It's been some time since I worked on Suikoden II- I needed a break from getting my ass handed to me by Neclord's Abomination monster boss thing, and then life happened- but I picked it up again today. The good news? I BEAT IT. The bad news? Riou and Viktor were the only ones left (barely) alive by the time I pulled it off. :/ I made a new save- I'm half tempted to go back on the other one and try it again, see if I can actually keep everyone alive. But it's probably not worth it. XD

Also, with Suikoden II... anybody know offhand where the hell Jowy is, spoiler-free as possible? Like I said, it's been a while since I've played and I don't remember. I want to say that he was all "I have some stuff to take care of" or something and took off, but I could be wrong considering that I didn't even remember he'd left. :/

☁ I've been tweaking a slow cooker lasagna recipe I found for ages- I've made it three or four times and I've changed it every time. I just made it again today and I can finally say that I'm happy with the result. It's freaking GOOD and not a million calories. The catch? It's not actually lasagna anymore, just lasagna-esque pasta. The lasagna noodles always got mushy and gross in the slow cooker (and no, I wasn't cooking them first), so this time I put in a box of penne instead. ^_^;;; Whatever. YUMMY! <3

☁ Well, that was fun- the toilet got clogged or something and resulted in a ton of water all over the bathroom. Ugh. It's cleaned up now and mostly dry except for a few sections that will be soon. Plus the metal part separating the rug in the hallway from the bathroom wasn't put down properly, so there's water underneath the rug there which is all wet. Not quite sure what to do about that aside from shove a towel under as far as I can, which isn't that far, and leave it alone. But then it'll mold, won't it? ARGH. >_<

On that note, I really have to get collapse and some sleep- I have to wash those towels when I get up. Hooray. -_-

verloren1983: (Sigh)

☁ Hello all! It is officially D-day and everything is done that can really be done at this point, so I'm sitting at the library on my laptop, which is kind of strange. Something new and different. Also it's closer than  I thought- somehow I made the library out to be this epic journey in my head and it's actually like 10-15 minutes walking, which is nothing. Good to know. Of course, I owe them money from YEARS ago, so I can't take anything home with me, but yanno. It's a nice change of pace. And it gets me the hell out of the house, which is even better. Should've maybe grabbed a couple of movies before I left, though. Oh well.

So basically, this is the plan for today- hang out at the library until the main office closes at 5. Considering my book addiction and that I have my laptop, that's absolutely not going to be a problem except for my current lack of sleep. I have a sandwich and water in my backpack for later, too. :D I don't want to be there for the inspection. I work retail in this neighborhood, yo. I don't need things getting awkward if the person coming in turns out to be a regular, or they randomly come into the store to get something or whatever. You know? It's not my name on the lease, I don't need to be there. I don't want my face associated with the damn mess, especially if things go badly. I don't think it will- Kelly and I did an AWESOME job, if I do say so myself. It's not perfect, but it's clean, except for my mom's room, which is at least somewhat improved. And I think that's what they're looking for- that it's reasonably clean and nothing's a fire hazard. Basically that the place is LIVEABLE. Kelly and I have achieved that. We're still clutterbugs, but there's no helping that. Hopefully they'll look over my mother's room. Even on the offchance that they don't, I know that I've done everything I possibly could in this situation. If there's an eviction, there's nothing I could've done to prevent it. Anyway, whatever, it should be fine, but still. Don't want to be there when it all goes down. I'll probably write a quick note later letting you guys know what's happening and that will hopefully be the last thing you hear about this. YAY. Hell, I'm not going to know what to do with myself now. FREE TIME. IMAGINE THAT.

☁ Just for the record, library internet isn't as bad as you would think, but not as good as I'd hoped. As in, I can read my friends list on LJ, but I can't click on anything. Though DW doesn't seem to be having that issue, so maybe it's LJ. It would figure. Nothing I've tried so far has been blocked either, but I haven't been doing much.

☁ In other news, last night I totally slammed the pad of my thumb in the crease of a folding door hard enough to give myself a blood blister. I may have yelled a string of obscenities. Ow. ;~;

☁ Note to self: the Dunkin Donuts frozen hot chocolate is very yummy (it's chocolatey and a little malty and totally delicious). However, unless they suddenly come out with a kiddie size or something, it's not a good idea. The small is still huge enough to give you a stomachache. :/

☁ In America's quest to fry EVERYTHING, they've now come up with fried Kool-Aid. Yes, I'm serious. I wish I was kidding. Sounds absolutely disgusting. Though it's been brought to my attention that there's fried Coke, too. Eugh. Who EATS this shit?

Okay. This is long enough, and I need to find something to keep me awake for the next almost five hours. Later! \o

verloren1983: (Cookies)
(Before we start, I'd like to say that I'm sick and on cold medicine, so if there's anything that doesn't make sense, I apologize in advance. I'm trying to make a serious post here, but I'm not sure how well it's going to work out.)

Edit: Apologies. DW doesn't seem to want to cut this properly, either. *kicks it* I know this is long, and I would cut it if I could. I'm not trying to be obnoxious. Please don't kill me. XD

So I was talking to a coworker the other day about the hair thing- mainly, how my mother and younger sister react to it. It's something I've been thinking about since, and figured it might make an interesting discussion topic.

First, the explanation for myself. I keep my hair cut very short. It's not meant as a statement, though I'm aware that it DOES make one. That's not the intention. I cut my hair this way because I like it this way, plain and simple. I don't see why I should let stupid things like rigid views of femininity or what other people think decide anything about myself. In the same spirit, I often wear men's cologne as well... the ones I like, of course. I'm not about to do something like that just to be contrary. I enjoy that aspect of it, yes. But it's not a contributing factor in those kinds of decisions. I like my hair short. The fact that it pretty much screams DYKE in ten different languages is just a fun bonus. Maybe I would feel differently if I wasn't a lesbian, or if I wasn't bordering on genderqueer. Maybe I would care more about how society looks at me if I was a straight, cis female. But I'm not, so I can't say for sure on either count.

That being said, reactions to my short hair have been overwhelmingly positive ever since I first cut it. I've had many women tell me that they wish they had the guts to do it. Which baffles me, really. How is it particularly brave when it's just hair? I'm not doing anything permanent to myself. If I don't like it, it'll grow back. Seriously, IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. But I've never had any emotional attachment to my hair, either, and a lot of women do. Plus it goes back to not wanting to defy social norms, I guess. Regardless, I have it on good authority that it's a look that suits me. I get that it looks "cute" a lot, which honestly makes me cringe so hard on the inside. Perfect example: today I had an older woman tell me, "I wish I could cut my hair that short, but I would look like an old man. ...It looks cute on you, though!" *twitchtwitch* I try my hardest to ignore those comments and just take in that I can pull it off.

Yet every time I get it cut- especially this last time when it got REALLY short- my mother and younger sister declare that they hate it, that it doesn't look good on me, what have you. My mother even went so far as to say to me, "Why did you let them do that to your hair?" as if a weed whacker had been taken to it. Um, I told her to? Kelly, too, regularly asks me when I'm going back to long hair. I won't say never, because I honestly don't know, but it's not going to be at any point in the forseeable future, that's for sure.

So I got to thinking about WHY they're so threatened by this look. Seriously, I think that's what it is. What other explanation could there be for them clinging so tightly to the idea that short hair is terrible? I think there's some disconnect there between who they think I am and who I actually am. I have never been a girly-girl type. Ever. Yes, I had long hair for a long time- too long, really. But I was overly hung up on what everyone else would think if I cut it the way I wanted it. Plus it was ordinary. It let me hide and not bring attention to myself. It wasn't a reflection of my personality or who I was. It's closer to that now, I think. Regardless of what people might say, I think most of us think of women with short hair as less feminine, even if we don't necessarily see it as that. I have to wonder if it's maybe hardwired in our brains or something, because it's just kind of automatic. I know personally, I first wonder if they're gay (but that also may be just because as a gay person, I'm auto-looking for someone like myself). I also tend to think of short haired girls as lower maintenance and more down to earth than girls with long hair. I think maybe part of that too is my own personal experience- I have yet to see a woman with short hair that also had pounds of makeup on and dressed up and everything. So I tend to see them as... less like these high maintenance plasticky creatures and more like someone I could actually relate to. And me myself being sort of androgynous, I guess I see them that way too. If that makes any sense. Of course, I'm not saying that all girls with long hair are high maintenance or anything ridiculous like that. I'm just saying that it really does change the impression you give off, whether it's something you want or not.

The bottom line is, the hair clearly says "I'm gay. Have a problem with that? Too bad." And my family, clearly, has a problem with that. I think they can't deal. And since they can't pick at my sexuality because I'm not officially out to most of my family (gee, I wonder WHY), they pick at my hair instead. Which is pointless, because I just roll my eyes and do what I want anyway. They know this about me. So then why keep harping on about it if there's no ulterior motive? Don't misunderstand me, I don't think it's intentional, at least for the most part. It's probably largely a subconscious thing. However, that doesn't make it okay. They want me to be someone I'm not, someone I've never been. Growing my hair out again isn't going to suddenly make me straight anymore than cutting it made me queer in the first place. They need to deal with that. At the very least, they want me to hide myself better, because they're not comfortable with me being open and out there with it. They would rather at least try to pretend. The way it stands now... yes, I'm obvious. I'm done hiding. I'm never going to be exactly what the world thinks a woman is "supposed" to be. But you know what? Most women don't live up to that standard, including my mother and my sister. I guess I'm far enough away from it that it makes some people uncomfortable. That's fine, it's their problem, not mine. I'm not going to change how I look just because some people are dicks. It's really just an annoyance at this point... but it does make for an interesting social experiment. When I was downtown last week, I was in jeans and my cloud/rainbow scarf t-shirt, plus the super-short hair. At times, yes, it felt like people were staring and I got a bit self conscious about that. As I passed this one group of men, they started calling things out at me, though I'm not sure what they were because I had music blasting in my ears. I probably didn't want to know anyway. Yeah, at times it felt a bit as if I were on display. As I said, though, it's interesting to see how people react to you in those kinds of situations. So would I do it again? Probably.

So what I'm curious to find out from you guys is, what do you think of all this? What do you think when you see a younger woman with short hair? (I'm not counting older women, because from my experience, it's a lot more common for 50+ ladies to chop their hair off. It's much, much rarer for women under 50.) How do you see femininity, masculinity, society's views on both? How do you feel you fit into the gender spectrum (if at all)? Do you think you get treated differently because of how you present? I realize my flist consists of mostly cis-gendered straight-ish women, so responses to the last couple aren't likely to be varied. I figure it's still worth a shot. Could be fun.
verloren1983: (Kitty Ahhhh!)
☁ I was asked to post these, so to my absolute mortification, here you go. These icons are totally Lish's fault. Just... don't even ask. Seriously. Though I need to mess around more with the first one because I still don't like it.


☁ Been re-reading some old Harry/Draco fic. Hell, I missed these two. <3 It's totally not helping me write [info]blind_go , though. Pffft. I've also been DL-ing a lot of PoT doujin lately. XDDD

☁ Also fandom related: people have been posting to the kink meme, which is hysterical since it's three years old. I generally still get posts on it every once in a while, but the sudden interest is amusing. :P

☁ And speaking of Harry Potter, couple of annoyances about the new release of Deathly Hallows Part 1. The first is that Walmart had an exclusive on the special edition DVD. Really, WB? I know the studios are trying to push the Bluray, but honestly. I don't have a Bluray player. I have no intention of purchasing one- if I'm going to spend the money, I might as well save a bit more and buy a PS3 so I can play games on the damn thing. STOP TRYING TO SHOVE THE FUCKING BLURAY DOWN MY THROAT.


The other thing that pissed me off was actually in the deleted scenes. Now... when I saw DH1 in the theater, I was incredibly disappointed that it didn't have the scene with Harry and Dudley when the Dursley's were leaving. It was a big moment for the both of them. But guess what? It was in the special features. What the ever loving hell. I think it's WORSE, knowing that they filmed it and decided that it WASN'T IMPORTANT, as opposed to not shooting it (there could've been a number of reasons why they didn't end up shooting it, after all). Seriously. What the fuck, WB.


☁ Dear Mother Nature: We had about 50 thousand feet of snow this winter- I promise you, the ground doesn't need anymore water for a while. Possibly the entire summer. You don't need to rain all freaking week. No love, Ver

☁ Class started today. So as part of my first assignment, I'm supposed to be reading at least one book about writing and/or creativity. I have a bunch on my laptop that I have yet to read (in addition to one or two physical ones whose whereabouts are currently unknown), so I decided to look through. Just on the lappy, I have enough that I could read two books a week for almost the entire length of the course. O_o And only three of the 20 are grammar centered. *headdesk* Although on the other hand, it's as good of an excuse as any to get some of those under my belt?

The other part of the assignment is to get a "writer's journal", which isn't a problem because I have a zillion empty notebooks. Unofficial assignments through the course include writing for 10 minutes a day NO MATTER WHAT and to spend at least an hour a week doing something creative besides writing (I'm thinking scrapbooking/playing in photoshop. :D)

Possibly triggery/TMI, who knows. Cut just in case. )
verloren1983: (Sigh)
☁ Hikago peeps- don't forget about [ profile] blind_go  sign ups! They end TODAY, so if you were planning on signing up and haven't yet, go ahead and do it! Also remember the support thread too, even if you're not writing this time around. Readers are totally awesome too. :D

☁ LJ: FAIL. I know it's not their fault, really, but that doesn't make the recent issues any less ANNOYING AS HELL. I guess it really makes you realize how much time you spend on a site when it's down, though. I've been kind of left going, "Er, now what?" a lot of the time since this whole thing started. XD Oh, and is it just me that's still having problems? LJ still won't load half the time. :/

☁ Totally getting sick, I can feel it in the back of my nose and throat. I know I'm due for it, but. DO NOT WANT!

☁ I got my replacement mastercard in the mail today. Yaaaay. Though I still have yet to get a bill from March. I don't know whether that's something I should be worrying about yet. <_<

☁ My workplace has decided to change weekly paychecks into biweekly paychecks over the summer. Which, quite honestly, BLOWS. They're giving us all this bullshit about how it doesn't affect how much money we get... yeah, actually, it does. Bigger paychecks mean that more money gets taken out in taxes. So effectively, it affects us like a paycut. This in addition to the fact that insurance is going up again this year. Thanks, guys. Really. Not to mention that the first week without a paycheck is going to hit hard financially- especially since the way they have it planned, we'll only get paid for a partial week. Do they not realize that when they pay their employees like shit, said employees can't afford to last two weeks on half a week's pay? Apparently not. Bastards.

☁ Because EVERYONE IRL seems to be doing this to me lately: Why is it that people don't get that if I have headphones on, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CONVERSATION? Seriously, how hard is that to figure out? I am clearly listening to music/ watching something/ avoiding talking to you. Unless there's some kind of emergency, go away. Jeez.

☁ Apparently brand for Greek yogurt matters? I didn't know that until I ended up trying a new one when the store didn't have what I usually get. Oh. My. Freaking. GOD. Apparently, Stonyfield > Yoplait > Chobani, at least to me. I don't know if it's the organic thing or what, but that shit is AWESOME. Especially since Yoplait recently changed theirs, so it's not as good as it was. Biggest problem is that it's also expensive- $2 for a small container. Ugh. Figures.

Also food related- note to self, the cheese pizza lean pockets aren't bad. Hmm.

☁ It occurred to me today that I didn't have a playlist for smutting- just something generic to help with the writing process. Huh. Lish wanted me to post it (and there's a few suggestions from her on here too), so here you go. Just remember that some of these are random. And actually, there's a couple I don't even like but acquired somehow. XD Also, I haven't used this yet. So. I make no claims as to how well this helps. If anybody happens to have any other suggestions, let me know. :D

This is totally longer than I thought it would be. XD )
verloren1983: (Akira Snuggles)
Planning on going to bed in a few minutes (even though I said that twenty minutes ago- whoops), because I've been fucking exhausted all day, but I should probably post this before I -totally- wimp out like usual. I'M KEEPING MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE THIS TIME, DAMMIT. >(

Reading some samples of a few online writing classes (non-credit) that sound awesome. (At least, the student reviews are good, heh.) It's $100 for each class, though, which gives me pause... in addition to my CRIPPLING FEAR OF EPIC FAILURE. However- it's only six weeks. And the other big advantage is that taking one would allow me to test out the "doing school online" thing, since I'm not sure how well that would work for me. This way, if I hate it, I'm only spending $100 instead of god knows how much, yeah? Also because it's non-credit, there's no scary applications, no confusing financial aid stuff to deal with, so we're not even bringing some of my other issues into the picture. And the pressure is lower, I guess? It's not anything that's going to end up on a transcript. So if it turns out I can't do the online thing and I fail at it (meep)... well, it's not as big a deal. Right? <_< At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself. It's not working that well. I have some time to think about it, at least- the next class starts on the 20th, and they're set up every month- so even if I miss April, I can do it in May if I decide to. Honestly, I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me before that I could test the waters this way. I'm feeling a little "DUH" about that now. But... possible failure and $100 is still a lot of money, especially for something that I won't be getting any kind of credit for. It's very anxious-making. :/


(Edit: Also, LJ keeps yelling at me about my password. I wish it would stop doing that.)
(Edit 2: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck. It's now almost 6am and I still haven't been able to get to sleep, a lot of which has to do with the fact that my brain decided to choose then to realize that I haven't seen my credit card since Wednesday. >_<  Fuck fuck fuck. I've torn the apartment apart with no luck. Unfortunately, any other checking will have to wait until later- nobody's open at this hour, at least not that can check that kind of stuff. Man. I need to try to get SOME sleep at least, and hit those couple of stores later. Look around some more, because it's totally possible that I'm just being a complete idiot at this hour of the morning. I'll choose to believe that for now, I think. ^_^;;;;;;;

(no subject)

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011 02:03 am
verloren1983: (*facepalm*)
☁ Random: I've been seeing a lot of selling posts recently, or is that just me? *headtilts* Must be a spring cleaning thing.

☁ did I not know that Gravitation has a sequel? It's Gravitation Ex, apparently. Definitely something to read at some point. Of course, I should probably finish the original manga first.... I purchased the first volume AGES ago and that's as far as I've gotten. <_<

☁ So I purchased the previously mentioned fish oil and vitamin D the other day. Now... I've been sleeping through my alarm for weeks, though somehow always managed to get up by 2:30 anyway so I didn't sleep through work or anything. I have no idea how I pulled that one off. Anyway, my point is... I actually woke up at 1:30 yesterday- I even heard the alarm before that, but I kept hitting the snooze button. XD I don't know if it was a random thing or if SOMETHING I'm taking is having some kind of an effect or what, but... progress, right? :D And it's only been a few days! I don't even care if it's related, I'll take it. :D :D :D

On the other hand, I've been having a lot of headaches recently. I don't know if that's related to something or not. Especially since that tends to happen to me every once in a while. I'll keep an eye on things, I guess.

☁ Yet another "Do I have a rainbow on my forehead?" moment on Sunday. As I've said before, I'm more or less out at work- I don't announce it, but I don't hide it, either. Except that the front store and the Pharmacy don't actually interact, so I don't really deal with them at all. Anyway. Mary and I were talking, and Jackie, one of the Pharmacy people, came up and was inserting her own opinion into the conversation. Mary proceeded to out me (By the way, I'm not upset- as I said, I'm pretty out anyway. It's not a big deal, it was a casual thing and Mary honestly didn't think anything of it. It was a tense for a minute there... there's always that moment when someone first finds out and you freak internally because some people are assholes and you don't know how they're going to react, but it was fine.)... and Jackie DIDN'T EVEN BLINK. Like, wtf. On the upside, she didn't seem to care. But seriously. I'M NOT THAT GAY. *laughter in the background* Erm. <_< Nevermind that one time I took one of those "how gay are you" tests, I got a 95%, and my friend Paul proceeded to laugh his ass off about it. XDDD (I just took it again out of curiosity and got an 88%. Strange.)

☁ I saw a book whose reader summary interested me, but it was very vague and I needed more information. Apparently, there is controversy surrounding this book, which doesn't surprise me considering the subject matter (the Holocaust, for the curious). What does surprise me, and what bothers the living hell out of me, is the fact that one critic implied that there was no way a 9 year old child wouldn't know what was going on, even though he couldn't see anything due to the high fences, because of the smell of death. Really? A 9 year old boy is supposed to know what death smells like? That's not something that's innate. You LEARN that. Just... there really are no words for that. Clearly this man is expecting too much of a small child. A fictional small child at that. I understand that there may well be factual inaccuracies in the book, especially since I haven't read it myself, but you also have to consider that this is FICTION. Historical fiction, but fiction nonetheless, and I'm sure the author took a few liberties here and there. I don't know if it's something I want to read, I already have two books that I can't seem to finish because of difficult subject matter. Not that they're not good, because they are, just... it totally breaks my heart to read, and I know they're going to leave me in pieces in the end. This is probably going to be one of those.

☁ I'm not the biggest tomato fan. They're good on sandwiches and salads and things, but it's not something I like a lot of or would eat by itself- I'm not that fond of tomato sauce either, and I HATE ketchup with a passion. I was getting some salad stuff at the store today (mmmm, salad) and picked up one of those small cartons of grape tomatoes. They're "extra sweet" or something and bigger than I'm used to seeing grape tomatoes being. I tried one when I got home- holy crap, you guys, these things are fucking GOOD. I was eating them like chips before I realized that I had to stop before I ate the whole container in one go. O_o So there's about half left I think. Whoops. On the other hand, better tomato than say, actual chips, heh.
verloren1983: (My Own Little World)
☁ Pretty cool Mario theme. There's some other great stuff there too, and the guy can actually sing, so check it out. He talks about it at the end of the video I linked, but he's got his stuff on itunes, and all of the money goes to Japan aid, which is awesome.

☁ Cousin reminded me of Suikoden Tierkreis, so I've started that again as my "work break" game. Couldn't remember enough of where I was to continue on the old save, which sucks because I'd put over 30 hours into it, but what can you do. *sigh* I'd forgotten how god awful some of the voice acting is. There's no middle of the road with voice- they're either good or terrible, that's it. I also forgot how much of a religious overtone there is... but in this case, it has more of an anti-religion stance, so it's not anything overpowering. Oh, and I'm totally reminded that I was shipping Hotupa/Moana. So cuuuuute~ But then I love Moana anyway, she's freaking adorable. And Chrodechild! I'd say I would totally go gay for her if I, uh, wasn't already. I mean, seriously, look at this BAMF lady right here. I like Asad too, though, he's pretty awesome. Even if he's so obviously in love with Chrodechild and she just as obviously doesn't see him that way.

☁ Note to self- when making the cheesecake brownies, when the recipe says you need to do stuff in a separate bowl, they mean in a separate bowl. Turns out that mixing everything together... well, it still tastes good, but it ends up having a weird fudgy consistency instead of being the cakey brownie it's supposed to be. Good to know.

☁ Tried hummus for the first time. It's. Erm. Well, it's not BAD, but I wouldn't have the red pepper kind again. ^_^;;; Not a fan. Which I probably should've known because peppers are not my favorite things, whoops. Good thing it was only a small package with the hummus and some pita chips. I'd have to look at the flavors again, but probably something like garlic would be better.

☁ Half considering looking into RPing again somewhere, because I do miss it, but... eh. I'm not sure I want to go there. Plus I have no idea where I would app or who with or any of that. Meh. I should probably not bother.

Little bit of work ranting- this is why I need a vacation. )

(no subject)

Monday, March 14th, 2011 03:16 am
verloren1983: (Gaming)
I really should be doing laundry, but pffft. Don't feel like it. I'm also really super tired, but rather than do the intelligent thing and go to bed, I'm just going to bore you all to tears instead. XD

- Been feeling bloaty and icky and exhausted lately, and I have no idea why. Spring is coming- that usually jazzes me up- so I don't know what's going on at the moment. Hrm.

- I realized quite unpleasantly that one of the evil plot bunnies I've been avoiding for MONTHS now (because it's wicked depressing and there's SO many things I could mess up)... could very well end up a  multi-chapter fic should I ever give in and write it. BAH. All the more reason to ignore that one. *glares at the bunny*

- Speaking of which, the bunnies have been weirdly active lately. This is good- to a point. It's not exactly helping me to post the backlog of fic, though. XD Also most of them are still things I don't want to write. Stupid bunnies. *grumbles* On the upside, the backlog of fic is decreasing, slowly but surely. Hopefully I should be finished with it sometime in the next year. >_<

- The ten year reunion for my original class is coming up. I've been invited. I didn't graduate with them, mind, but... ugh, ten years, seriously? Where did all that time go? I have no intention of GOING though. There's really... maybe a few people I would like to see, but that's about it, and I don't really think it's worth putting myself through the stress for. I'll admit that a big part of it is a high level of embarrassment on my part. I am certainly nowhere NEAR where I would like to be at this point in my life. Which yes, is kind of a sore point and I don't really feel like explaining to people how I've ended up in the gutter. It's just... bigger things were expected of me. I expected bigger things from me. So I think going to something like a reunion and having to show my general failure would just be torturing myself. If I at least had a date I could bring, that would be immensely better, but alas. Maybe by the time the 20th comes around, I'll not be completely mortified by the thought of having to explain my life to people I knew as a child.

And for Jet- Suikoden II Thoughts So Far :P )
verloren1983: (Gaming)
- Had the best freaking shopping trip EVER yesterday. My sister and I went to the mall because I had to get my hair cut... again... and while we were looking around, I noticed that there was a new video game store, so of course I had to go in. I've mentioned before that I'm a masochist, right? ^_^;;; Anyway, after some looking around, I discovered- get this- SUIKODEN II. For those of you not in the know, this is a VERY rare, out of print game. I've never actually seen it in person before today because it's next to impossible to get unless you go online. And you're going to pay dearly for it, believe you me. The lowest I have ever seen it posted for is around $120 used, and no, that's not a typo. More often than not it's $200 and up. I've been looking for a physical copy of this game that wouldn't require the promise of a firstborn child for about eight years, no lie.

...this store had it for $89.99.

Needless to say, it came home with me. It's coming out of my savings, I don't even care, because holy HELL I actually found it. Okay, I care a little, but I know that I shouldn't because there's no way I could've passed that up. I realize that it's still a lot for a video game. Especially for a used game that was released 12 years ago. But this one is special, and I refuse to feel bad about spending so much on it. That being said, I won't be buying any games for a while to make up for it. ^_^;;; On the upside, I was in Borders two different times and walked away empty handed each time. So that's a good thing. :D

(With demand as high as it is, if Konami ever got a clue and releases the PSP Suikoden I/Suikoden II compilation outside of Japan, they'd make a freaking fortune. Just saying.)

- In addition, bought a cute pair of heart shaped rainbow earrings. It's been a long time since I've worn any rainbow jewelry... should be interesting. They're small enough that they're subtle, so it shouldn't cause any issues I don't think. At least, I never had any issues before when I was wearing that stuff all the time. Okay... except for one asshole I worked with, but he doesn't work there anymore, and besides that... I'm mostly out at work, so any problems would've come up by now. You know?

By the way, Border's GLTB section blows. It's just this tiny two foot section, and the bottom three or four shelves have like... five books on them, tops. It's sad, it really is.

- Also we did Ruby Tuesday's for dinner, since I've never actually been there, and while the food wasn't anything to particularly write home about, they had the yummiest regular Long Island Iced Tea I've ever tasted. Mmm. <3

-Okay, I know most of you don't care, but I need to talk about this last episode of Glee for a little bit. Skip if you'd rather, plzthnx.

Thought 1: asjdkslajdsl I've been reading Blaine/Kurt fic furiously the last day or so. I've shipped them since Blaine first showed up, but this is the first time that I've come away from an episode going "Holy shit, I NEED FIC." Seriously, if those two don't get together at some point, I'm going to die.

Thought 2: I've spent the last several weeks catching Kelly up on the show. The advantage of that, of course, is that I'd already seen everything, so I knew what to expect already and knew when to walk away and do something else for a few minutes during potential awkwardness. (She also ships Blaine/Kurt with me and we fangirl squee together, which is kind of fun.) What I didn't expect? CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Holy crap. In the interest of not being a jackass and spoiling stuff, I won't say what happened, but... let's just say that it figures that this is the first totally new episode that we've watched together. They actually ADDRESSED the elephant in the room that I thought the show would ignore until cancellation. I'm still in shock.
verloren1983: (Madness)
- Messed around with my profile, because it's been bugging me for a while now. It's still too long, because it's me and I never shut up, but it's actually... kind of organized now. O_o

- I can haz gift fic~ The prompt actually came from a conversation we'd had about how friendship would just sneak up on Akira and Hikaru- all of a sudden Waya would make a comment about them being friends or something, and Hikaru would be all "Wait, what?" So yeah. Secret friends fic. <3

- Some drama with LJ randomly deciding it didn't like my credit card anymore (boo), but it's all better now. Yay.

- God, I really need to start walking again. The small amount of endurance I'd built up is completely SHOT now. Before, I'd started running a little bit on the way to work- not a lot, but a little. I tried that today, and god, I made it about five seconds before my body started doing that "Hey, you'd better stop, moron" warning thing. And my legs ACHED for the rest of my walk to work. Ugh. That's just pathetic, especially if I'm going to be even WALKING a 5k next month.

(Oops, gotta go, I'll see you guys later.)


verloren1983: (Default)

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