verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
I've been called a Hikago BNF twice recently- once by someone I don't even know, but who apparently knows me. Can I tell you how weird that is? It's fucking weird. I'd ask if that meant that I need to start throwing random hissy fits and collecting minions to do my evil bidding, but the same things that probably make me a BNF also make at least half the of currently active fandom BNF's, so that probably won't fly. XD Guess I'll have to be a nice one. Come on, what fun is that?

(The minions would be nice, though, not gonna lie.)

Really regretting not asking for Hikaru/Waya for the Hikago exchange, because I've been hit by "ZOMG WANT THAT" really hard lately completely at random, and there's just not that much of it. Then again, asking for it wouldn't have necessarily meant I would've gotten it, either. Oh well.  Hopefully other people will write it and I'll be able to enjoy. ^_~ (Or, yanno, if people want to write it in the meantime, I certainly won't object. :P)

Speaking of the Hikago exchange: the good news is that I've reached the minimum word requirement, at least according to Open Office. The bad news is that it's nowhere close to done. What happened to my ability to write short fic? ARGH. (Well, okay, admittedly it would go faster if I wasn't going about it sideways, but that's what kind of has to happen with what was asked for, soooooo I'm doing my best to actually do what my recipient wants. ^_^;;; )

Pride was today. \o/ It was pretty fun, hung out with some people, though also overwhelming for someone as introverted as I am. I'm totally freaking EXHAUSTED now and it's honestly probably going to take me at least a week of avoiding IRL interaction to recover psychologically. (Notably, there was a table for a mental health organization or whatever- I grabbed a booklet on anxiety disorders. Heh. ^_^;;; ) On the upside, I got a really cute purple tank top with a rainbow butterfly on it. It's rainbowy but not in your face rainbowy. I'll have to try to remember to take a picture of it later. :D Also, Melissa Etheridge came over and did a song a cappella just for the hell of it since she was in the area for a concert anyway, which was awesome. In case you've ever wondered- she's amazing live. So now you know. ^_~ I also managed some free stuff, including a rainbow button with "Atheist" on it, some random stickers, and a few books. (For the curious-  Woman in Sexist Society: Studies in Power and Powerlessness, Two To Conquer by Marion Zimmer Bradley, and Boys Will Be Boys: Breaking the Link Between Masculinity and Violence.) I actually left about a half hour early and didn't go to any of the after parties- I thought about it, but the bottom line was that I was totally fried. So were the people I was with, so I would've had to go solo, which I'm not comfortable with anyway. It's just as well.

It's been a very rainy June so far, so naturally, there have been lots of mosquitoes out and I've been getting freaking EATEN ALIVE. Seriously, there are 8 bites just on my right foot alone. ;~; I've been trying to keep benadryl on the worst places which helps, but it still sucks and I'm still a mess. SO ITCHY. And I've been growing out my nails a little bit, so I'm doing a lot more damage by scratching than I normally would. One of the reasons I hate summer- bugs love me. Ver blood is apparently delicious. (And no, before anybody asks, things like Off that are supposed to keep bugs away have never worked for me, even when I was a kid. I would be outside with my family after everyone was coated with the stuff and I would literally be the only one getting bitten. Ugh ugh ugh.

And in other news, my diploma arrived in the mail yesterday! Wee! So now that's safely tucked away in its folder. Pretty cool. ^_^

(no subject)

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013 03:20 pm
verloren1983: (Chi)

...you know, I keep trying to post more, and I'll type something up, but then I don't post it and I wait so long that I have to rewrite half of it because it's no longer valid. Whoops. XD

Blah blah blah )

So basically, things are generally going pretty well at the moment. I'll probably be singing another tune in a month when I'm trying to write four different research papers, but eh. XD


verloren1983: (Smile)
☁ The new Donkey Kong Country- it's fun (I'm definitely purchasing it at some point), but it IS a bit of a departure from the previous ones, gameplay wise. Not being able to throw Diddy: fail. The difficulty level was also higher than I expected it to be, straight from the getgo. Then again, in all fairness, there are many levels in the original ones that I can play backwards and forwards at this point, so... they're easy to me NOW. Doesn't mean they were the first time I played them. XD I was always BOSS at the minecart levels and shooting barrels though, and the minecart level in the first world is DEFINITELY harder than those used to be.

If you like the first three, I think you'll like this one- if you've never played the first three, you can either get them for the GBA or download them to your Wii. I would suggest trying one of those first (my favorite is 2, personally), rather than spending the cash on the new one. $10 is better than $40, yeah?

☁ Okamiden- CUTEST. GAME. EVER. ADJKLSJDLK. (Here, have a trailer.) I totally hit "keep" on this one- it's only about 20 cents cheaper on Amazon anyway, so I might as well keep the cartridge that has my save.

Next up on the Gamefly queue: Uh, Kirby's Epic Yarn, apparently.

Absolutely disgusting. There is NO excuse for this- the man physically assaulted a student. He should be in jail, and he shouldn't be allowed to work with children ever again. Period. You don't touch kids.

☁ Also I finally got Suikoden V back. I actually didn't end up having to ask- when I went up to Stef's last week, she was like, "Oh, here!" and handed it to me. She is apparently still working on Kingdom Hearts, which is fine. As long as her room didn't eat it, we're good. XD I think I'm going to have to restart Suikoden V, though, as I only remember bits and pieces of what the hell was going on. Buuuuut that's what I get for loaning the game out when I wasn't finished with it. :/

☁ I just found out about a really neat thing my library has- they're part of an online site that lets you download music, legally, for FREE. You're limited to three a week, and only what they've got (read: Sony), but hey. Free is free is free.

☁ There are, apparently, emulators that allow you to play GB, GBC, NES, and SNES games on a DS R4. O_o I don't know, somehow it just never occurred to me that you could do that? It's probably like the other R4 stuff- some of it works great and other stuff doesn't- but I tried a couple of games and they seem to be alright, though. Might be good for the stuff that Nintendo won't put in their online stores to purchase for current consoles. *cough*WhoFramedRogerRabbit*cough*

☁ I recently tried two new kinds of rice- well, not new really, but new to me. Jasmine rice, which is quite yummy though I wouldn't want to have it all the time; and Basmati rice, which I'd never even heard of before I saw it in the store a couple of days ago. The grains are really long so it almost looks shredded, and it tastes really freaking delicious. It doesn't even need any salt or sauce or anything. I think I need to find the brown version and buy a bag. :3

verloren1983: (Chi)
☁ Finished My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Yeah, yeah, I know. Guilty pleasures, alright?). The sad thing? It took me 25 episodes to realize that Rainbow and Applejack have the same VA. *facepalm* WTH, self.

☁ The weather's been absolutely freaking GORGEOUS the last couple of days. Which, apparently, is normal after a hurricane (but since they downgraded it to a tropical storm before it got here, does it count?), but it's just totally bizarre to me. O_o

☁ Theory of a Deadman played nearby today. *wail* WHY DO I ALWAYS FIND OUT ABOUT THIS STUFF AT THE LAST MINUTE OR AFTER IT'S OVER? Vertical Horizon was here a month or so ago and I didn't find out about that till way later. -_- Bah.

☁ Someone my mom works with gave her a whole crapload of hand-me-downs for me. I finally went through it all yesterday- some decent stuff. A bit over 1/3 of it is either something I wouldn't be caught dead in or doesn't work for me AT ALL. Lots of jeans. Most of them are too long, but that's not anything new. I'm certainly not going to complain about free clothes. \o/

☁ There's a shuttle bus from the mall to Irish Fest next month. That is... actually doable. Sooooooo I'm seriously thinking about going now. Especially since I have yet to decide what I want to DO on my vacation aside from going out for my birthday, which is kind of a given. I should've known, really. I'm incredibly indecisive. Given so many options, my brain shut down on the subject. Basically, it screamed "I don't KNOW!", curled up in a ball, and refused to make any kind of decision. Pffft. Helpful, that.

☁ Cool new links: Everyone is Gay (Seriously great. Watch their videos. They're love. I also might have a little bit of a crush on Dannielle. XD) and Stageit (You can watch live mini concerts that artists set up online. Obviously interest depends on who's playing and you still have to show up at a specific time, but no travel, no crowds, no annoying people screaming in your ears, no standing for hours on end. You can just sit in front of your computer in your PJ's. HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THAT? I totally bought a ticket for Bradley James of Five Times August on the 6th. :P).

(no subject)

Thursday, August 18th, 2011 05:22 am
verloren1983: (Cookies)
☁ Via Lish: A very well written article that explains why throwing out religious platitudes to an Atheist while they're grieving can be offensive to them. Before I get into any of this, I should possibly clarify for some of you, since I don't generally talk about religion- I'm an Atheist. Well. More accurately, I'm an odd Atheist/Agnostic mix, meaning that while I absolutely don't believe in God or Heaven or Hell or any of that, I'm also willing to admit that there's really no way of knowing for sure, one way or another. I'm cool with other religions as long as someone's not trying to convert me or it's not being shoved down my throat. It's not something I make a big deal of because it's not something that affects my life on a daily basis. Anyway. This was so not the point. Onward!

I had a conversation with Lish about this, which I'm not going to totally rehash, but to me it basically boils down to respecting other people's beliefs. A lot of people don't understand Atheism, and for many of these, it's just not on their radar at all. It's a thoughtlessness. They assume, well, it would be comforting to ME, so it must be to THEM. Nevermind that "I'm sorry for your loss" is just as easy to say, and offering whatever assistance you can will mean more. Personally, I'm in the "it doesn't bother me that much" camp, in general, unless they go on about it forever or I hear it a thousand times in ten minutes. I get the meaning behind it, and I appreciate it, even though it doesn't help. Though the whole "god's will" thing is an exception- that IS hurtful and offensive, and I seem to remember walking away from people who have said that to me. The bottom line here: be considerate and respectful of the person grieving. That's all. And isn't that true regardless of who they pray to (or don't pray to)? (*cough* I just totally wrote "prey" instead of "pray". Nice Freudian slip there, Ver. XD)

This is too cute. I don't even like kids, and this made me want to hug him. The parents, too. He's a lucky kid to have such accepting and open-minded parents. That being said, assuming it's not something he ends up growing out of later- knowing you're gay at six? Just. Wow. O_o

☁ I read this book yesterday that is, for some reason I have yet to figure out, bringing a couple of original muses back to the foreground of my mind. I haven't thought about them, or their story, in ages. The book isn't even related to the story in any way, except one character's tendency to overthink things. WTF brain?

I don't know, maybe I should look at it again. I stopped due to a nasty case of writer's block- I got two characters in a particular situation and couldn't figure out how to get them out of it- but maybe if I approach it from a different angle? The other problem was that I found that the more I wrote, the more I -despised- my main character. The different angle I'm thinking of would solve that as well, because it would shift the main focus from the annoying little brat to someone I actually like. The only problem is that originally, the POV shifted between four different main-ish characters, with the one I call the main as the hub basically. Changing this causes a whole bunch of other issues as far as things being shown. I guess I'll have to try and figure it out at some point.

☁ I read a lot of m/m fiction. (I know that comes as a shock to you all.) It's a genre that's very hit or miss, from my experience. I've read some wonderful things. I've also read things that never should've seen the light of day. Quality of writing is all over the place- not just with things like characters, but with basics like GRAMMAR and PUNCTUATION. I swear to god, some of these editors need to be fired. Anyway. While, obviously, mistakes happen regardless of genre (nobody's perfect), I've NEVER seen this kind of lack of editing or grasp of the basics in ANY other genre.

This does have a point, I swear. I wrote a review on Goodreads of a book recently- the novel was fabulous, by the way, and I said as much- where I mentioned that my expectations had not been terribly high, due to previous experience. Another reader asked me why, and after I explained, she pretty much jumped all over me. Uh... OBVIOUSLY the quality of the book is going to depend on the quality of editing and the ability of the author, regardless of genre. I know that, I'm not a moron. It just seems that there are lesser quality editors at m/m publishers. Or, also possible, is that certain m/m publishers put quantity over quality. I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE MY OPINION, LEAVE ME ALONE, WOMAN! The best part? She hasn't even read the book in question. So now, according to her, she's going to have to read it because I held up up as an example of good writing. Great. Now if she doesn't like it (And there's a good chance she won't. Looking at the handful of books we have in common, we have VERY different tastes.), then she's going to be up my ass about how I don't know what I'm talking about or whatever. Wonderful. Why do people have to pick fights over stupid shit?
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ Randomly ended up going out with Mary last night. Drank way too much but had a great time. We got some pictures taken of us by some people at the bar that we didn't know- possibly going to regret that one later. Got a lapdance. And a kiss. :P It wasn't anything serious though, which is just fine. ^_^ Also apparently I'm "such a top"? Which is SO not me. *baffled* Oh well. People kept asking if Mary and I were a couple, which was a little strange. I realized kind of belatedly that with Mary definitely being more on the femme end of the spectrum and me being more on the andro/butch side of the spectrum, people WOULD potentially think that. Funny how people tend to go by stereotypes even in a gay club.

People have tried to get me to dance before (sober and drunk) and it just doesn't work. I'm too awkward, too uptight, and I feel too ridiculous. Well... apparently, there IS a level of intoxication where I can be talked into dancing. I'm a bit stunned. Unfortunately it's a very high level. As in a bit later when we were back at Mary's place and I'd sat down (and you always feel it a lot more when you've sat down for a bit), I went to get up to go to the bathroom and instead of actually standing up from the couch I sort of... *cough* fell off the couch. <_< It was fun, though. The dancing I mean. Getting up for work the next morning? Not so much fun. I never get really SUPER hung over though, I just don't feel that well and I'm tired the whole next day. And that happens if I've had so much as one drink.

☁ Okay, so I've finished season 1 of Doctor Who and watched the first two episodes of season 2. Reactions so far, vague and spoiler-free as possible:

1. Oooh. Badass Rose. Nice. Would've been nice to keep her a little longer, but eh.
2. I have to say, I love the flirting between 9 and Jack. Really, just lovely. And a canon kiss! Everybody kissed everybody, so while there wasn't a big threesome heap, I can live with what canon gave us.
3. I'm really trying very hard not to hate 10 and I'm failing. I'm hoping I warm up to him, because he sticks around for a while, so that would kind of suck. And it did take me a few episodes to get used to 9. I dunno. My brain is going "No. Just no. Give me 9 back."

But. We shall see as I progress with episodes. :D

verloren1983: (Squee)
As of June 24, 2011, New York State has officially passed same sex marriage. So effective at the end of next month, gay marriage will be legal in my home state. That's just... incredible to me. We took such a blow when California struck it down. I know a lot of us thought that if California of all places didn't legalize it, then we were all screwed. And yet... here we are. Sadly I had to work and didn't get to go down to Albany to see the whole thing happen, but eh. It's enough that it happened. As a gay person, this means so much to me that I can't even describe it. There are no words. Just love.

Cut because I ramble forever~ )
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
Yep, still cleaning like a crazy person. I've barely been on the lappy at all. Hopefully by this time next week, we should be back to normal and I'll actually be able to catch up with everyone. I feel like I'm missing out. D:

Basically, I'm so exhausted and stressed out it's not even funny. )

☁ In other news, Pride was fun. Well. Certain parts were fun. Saturday morning, the 5k, was not so much- it was torrential downpouring. Ugh. Needless to say, by the time I got there, I was totally soaked. Mary and I screwed up by accident and only ended up walking half of the 5k. We got confused. ^_^;;; Which ended up okay, because again, I was wet and unhappy and my left foot hurt like hell from where one of my toes kept rubbing up against the wet socks and shoes. Yeah. The day got better, though, as did the weekend. We missed the parade because Mary takes FOREVER getting ready, but the festival was fun. And we drank SO MUCH the whole weekend, I swear. It was fun, but guh. Won't be doing that a lot, let me tell you. For a lot of reasons. I do hope we start hanging out more, though, because it's kind of ridiculous that we haven't. Apparently it's our own hangups that caused that. She thought that I would think she was way too crazy, and I thought that she would think I was too boring. ^_^;;;

☁ The drinking, though, seriously... I'm glad I almost never do that. I gained FOUR POUNDS over the weekend, no lie. I just about cried on Monday when I saw that. It's coming back down though, not through any effort on my part. Cleaning burns calories. Also, stress does one of two things to me, food-wise. It either makes me eat everything or I don't want to eat anything. This time I seem to be more on the latter end- I just realized that all I've had to eat today is a lean pocket and a few pieces of bread. Whoops. I guess I just feel like I don't have time to eat on top of that, so that doesn't help. It's better when I work- then I'll eat a minimum of twice in the day. All the more reason to be glad for next week when this whole mess is over and everything goes back to normal.

☁ Also, someone from a school I went to for about three months friended me on Facebook. I think I vaguely remember her, but man. Weird.

That being said, my laundry is now done and I should probably make some attempt at sleeping. That hasn't been going terribly well either. I may or may not post again before the inspection. Either way, I'm sure I'll see you guys at some point next week.

(no subject)

Sunday, June 5th, 2011 12:00 am
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ Finished Hana Kimi. SO CUTE. *_* Now I can concentrate on other things.

Cut for bra/size talk~ )

☁ I own shorts for the first time in my adult life. Granted, they're to my knees so they're not particularly short, but still. Kind of strange. I'm not thrilled with the idea of wearing shorts, but it beats being downtown in the middle of June with a zillion people in JEANS. And dresses are just. So not me. XD I also found sandals that I don't totally hate and FIT for the first time in a few years. Mmm, Earth shoes. So comfy. <3

This is totally awesome. Not only did a MtF transgirl run for prom queen- SHE WON. I can't even imagine having that kind of bravery in high shool. Wow. She looks absolutely stunning in the photo, too. Good for her! (As you might expect, don't read the comments, you'll lose all faith in humanity.)

☁ Also, a Chinese woman became the first Chinese person to ever win a Grand Slam singles title. Not that I have any interest in tennis whatsoever aside from the animated cracky physics defying kind, but still pretty cool! :D
verloren1983: (*facepalm*)
☁ Found a DW theme I liked better than the one I had. Yaaaaaay. It's all blue and stripey and awesome.  ^_^ Speaking of DW, they just handed out some new invitation codes, so if anybody wants one, poke at me. I don't think I ever used all of the ones that they gave me originally, either, to be honest. They're probably still hanging around in my e-mail inbox somewhere.

☁ Finished Shuffle. It ended up being a lot more interesting than I thought it would be at first- better than the run of the mill harem anime, I think. Though it WAS still a harem anime and so there were a lot of unneccessary panty shots and awkward sexual type moments. It did manage to surprise me several times, though, and the girls were actually decently developed, personality wise. ^_^

☁ Stef got me reading Hana Kimi, too. It's interesting- reminds me of Ouran a bit. You definitely have to suspend quite a bit of common sense, but it's cute and fun. I'm on chapter 35 at the moment, so we'll see.

☁ I know I shouldn't be adding more to my currently watching list, but meh. D.Grayman seems to keep coming up a lot recently, and it's something I've been unable to find subbed up until now. But I found it~ I thought Allen's voice sounded familiar, but couldn't quite pin it, so I looked it up. Akira! *hearts* (I suspect that this will just make my brain want to cross D.Grayman with Hikago. *headdesk*)

☁ Ran into a snag with Glyde- there are no listings for GBA, GB, and PSOne games (and who knows what else that I haven't stumbled on yet), so you can't put those on the site. Boo. It's useful for what you CAN put on there, but still. Complete and utter fail.

☁ I found the Myers-Briggs results I'd been looking for when I talked about it before- I =knew= there were a set of other results that I was really impressed with. (For the record, it's here). The analytical thinker in this test makes me an INTP. Which made me laugh because the last one pegged me as an ISTJ. I did say that I get different results all the time. Only the Introverted and the Thinking are constant. ^_^;;; It's just incredibly amusing to me. Frustrating, but amusing. Apparently I'm hard to pin down. Or I secretly have multiple personalities. Yanno, either way. :P

☁ So Old Navy is apparently selling a few Pride shirts. Which is awesome, because they're a major chain and 10% of their profits are going to The Trevor Project. The designs are kind of meh, but whatever. It's the thought that counts, right? But there's a catch. You ready?

They're only carrying them in 26 stores. No, that's not a typo. Twenty-six. That's it. And they're not online, either. I appreciate the gesture, I really do. They're doing something that no other mainstream chain has ever done. That deserves some serious props. But I feel like it's exactly that- a gesture. How many shirts are they really going to sell in those 26 stores? If they're really trying to make a difference, if they're really trying to contribute something positive and get this stuff out into the mainstream where it NEEDS TO BE... this is not the way to do it. A+ for effort and pure balls, Old Navy, but F for execution. You still have time to rethink your strategy before Pride month gets swinging, GO.

(Yes, I know there's been a lot of gay related things lately. With Pride month coming up it's bound to be on my mind. Also the whole marriage thing is getting a lot of press locally, it's something that NY is really trying to pass soon. So, again, on my mind. Apologies if it's annoying anyone.)

(no subject)

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011 11:40 pm
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
☁ Not much of anything is happening in LJ-land today. *pokes it*

☁ I forgot to mention that the New York Post on Sunday had a fabulous Rapture related headline- "WORLD ENDS! Heaven looks exactly like New York City" I totally started cracking up when I saw that on a customer's paper. Customer looked at me like I was nuts, but it was totally worth it. Brilliant. <3

☁ Did I mention that I found a new video game/book/movie/music organization site? Well, I did. Yes, I realize that when you go to the site, it talks about buying and selling, but you can just have "collections" too. You don't have to sell anything if you don't want to. On the upside, if you do decide to sell anything, you can do that really easily from there too. (Though they do take a percentage, but most sites like that do.) I only have some DS games on there so far- it's kind of neat because the way they set it up, it's almost like you're shopping through your own stuff, which is kind of neat. ^_^ Of course, you can buy on the site as well as sell, which could be dangerous. But we'll ignore that.

☁ Stef had me watch Once Upon a Mattress, which was cracky and kind of hysterical. Zooey Deschanel's eyes are kind of weird though, aren't they? It seems like she's always like O_O, at least in this movie, and it was a bit off putting. Though Google shows plenty of pictures where she looks normal, so I think it's just a thing she does. She's a pretty girl, but seriously, this? Creepy.

☁ Sobering fact I just learned: in over HALF of the country, 29 states in fact, you can legally be refused service in a restaurant because of your sexual orientation. Just. There are no words. New York is thankfully not one of them, but Texas is. Which isn't actually surprising, but it's disheartening. The list: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wyoming.

Many of those aren't a surprise. The southern states especially, and to a lesser degree, the Midwestern ones. But PA? Really? I don't really think a state that boasts "The City of Brotherly Love" really has any room to discriminate against gay people, but whatever. It's just disappointing that in 2011, so much of the country is still hell-bent on making our lives miserable.

☁ Related: This is disgusting. It's not up to doctors to make judgements about who their patients are. They're supposed to DO THEIR JOB. Funny how the two religious people didn't seem to care, but the doctors did. This isn't the first time we've heard something like this, of course, but the fact that this KEEPS HAPPENING is proof that we need marriage rights. What we have isn't good enough, because they can ignore it when you have all of the legal documentation that you're supposed to need. Civil unions are not enough. We need marriage or this kind of despicable behavior is just going to continue.

Suikoden rambling, for those that care~ )
verloren1983: (Cookies)
(Before we start, I'd like to say that I'm sick and on cold medicine, so if there's anything that doesn't make sense, I apologize in advance. I'm trying to make a serious post here, but I'm not sure how well it's going to work out.)

Edit: Apologies. DW doesn't seem to want to cut this properly, either. *kicks it* I know this is long, and I would cut it if I could. I'm not trying to be obnoxious. Please don't kill me. XD


So I was talking to a coworker the other day about the hair thing- mainly, how my mother and younger sister react to it. It's something I've been thinking about since, and figured it might make an interesting discussion topic.

First, the explanation for myself. I keep my hair cut very short. It's not meant as a statement, though I'm aware that it DOES make one. That's not the intention. I cut my hair this way because I like it this way, plain and simple. I don't see why I should let stupid things like rigid views of femininity or what other people think decide anything about myself. In the same spirit, I often wear men's cologne as well... the ones I like, of course. I'm not about to do something like that just to be contrary. I enjoy that aspect of it, yes. But it's not a contributing factor in those kinds of decisions. I like my hair short. The fact that it pretty much screams DYKE in ten different languages is just a fun bonus. Maybe I would feel differently if I wasn't a lesbian, or if I wasn't bordering on genderqueer. Maybe I would care more about how society looks at me if I was a straight, cis female. But I'm not, so I can't say for sure on either count.

That being said, reactions to my short hair have been overwhelmingly positive ever since I first cut it. I've had many women tell me that they wish they had the guts to do it. Which baffles me, really. How is it particularly brave when it's just hair? I'm not doing anything permanent to myself. If I don't like it, it'll grow back. Seriously, IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. But I've never had any emotional attachment to my hair, either, and a lot of women do. Plus it goes back to not wanting to defy social norms, I guess. Regardless, I have it on good authority that it's a look that suits me. I get that it looks "cute" a lot, which honestly makes me cringe so hard on the inside. Perfect example: today I had an older woman tell me, "I wish I could cut my hair that short, but I would look like an old man. ...It looks cute on you, though!" *twitchtwitch* I try my hardest to ignore those comments and just take in that I can pull it off.

Yet every time I get it cut- especially this last time when it got REALLY short- my mother and younger sister declare that they hate it, that it doesn't look good on me, what have you. My mother even went so far as to say to me, "Why did you let them do that to your hair?" as if a weed whacker had been taken to it. Um, I told her to? Kelly, too, regularly asks me when I'm going back to long hair. I won't say never, because I honestly don't know, but it's not going to be at any point in the forseeable future, that's for sure.

So I got to thinking about WHY they're so threatened by this look. Seriously, I think that's what it is. What other explanation could there be for them clinging so tightly to the idea that short hair is terrible? I think there's some disconnect there between who they think I am and who I actually am. I have never been a girly-girl type. Ever. Yes, I had long hair for a long time- too long, really. But I was overly hung up on what everyone else would think if I cut it the way I wanted it. Plus it was ordinary. It let me hide and not bring attention to myself. It wasn't a reflection of my personality or who I was. It's closer to that now, I think. Regardless of what people might say, I think most of us think of women with short hair as less feminine, even if we don't necessarily see it as that. I have to wonder if it's maybe hardwired in our brains or something, because it's just kind of automatic. I know personally, I first wonder if they're gay (but that also may be just because as a gay person, I'm auto-looking for someone like myself). I also tend to think of short haired girls as lower maintenance and more down to earth than girls with long hair. I think maybe part of that too is my own personal experience- I have yet to see a woman with short hair that also had pounds of makeup on and dressed up and everything. So I tend to see them as... less like these high maintenance plasticky creatures and more like someone I could actually relate to. And me myself being sort of androgynous, I guess I see them that way too. If that makes any sense. Of course, I'm not saying that all girls with long hair are high maintenance or anything ridiculous like that. I'm just saying that it really does change the impression you give off, whether it's something you want or not.

The bottom line is, the hair clearly says "I'm gay. Have a problem with that? Too bad." And my family, clearly, has a problem with that. I think they can't deal. And since they can't pick at my sexuality because I'm not officially out to most of my family (gee, I wonder WHY), they pick at my hair instead. Which is pointless, because I just roll my eyes and do what I want anyway. They know this about me. So then why keep harping on about it if there's no ulterior motive? Don't misunderstand me, I don't think it's intentional, at least for the most part. It's probably largely a subconscious thing. However, that doesn't make it okay. They want me to be someone I'm not, someone I've never been. Growing my hair out again isn't going to suddenly make me straight anymore than cutting it made me queer in the first place. They need to deal with that. At the very least, they want me to hide myself better, because they're not comfortable with me being open and out there with it. They would rather at least try to pretend. The way it stands now... yes, I'm obvious. I'm done hiding. I'm never going to be exactly what the world thinks a woman is "supposed" to be. But you know what? Most women don't live up to that standard, including my mother and my sister. I guess I'm far enough away from it that it makes some people uncomfortable. That's fine, it's their problem, not mine. I'm not going to change how I look just because some people are dicks. It's really just an annoyance at this point... but it does make for an interesting social experiment. When I was downtown last week, I was in jeans and my cloud/rainbow scarf t-shirt, plus the super-short hair. At times, yes, it felt like people were staring and I got a bit self conscious about that. As I passed this one group of men, they started calling things out at me, though I'm not sure what they were because I had music blasting in my ears. I probably didn't want to know anyway. Yeah, at times it felt a bit as if I were on display. As I said, though, it's interesting to see how people react to you in those kinds of situations. So would I do it again? Probably.

So what I'm curious to find out from you guys is, what do you think of all this? What do you think when you see a younger woman with short hair? (I'm not counting older women, because from my experience, it's a lot more common for 50+ ladies to chop their hair off. It's much, much rarer for women under 50.) How do you see femininity, masculinity, society's views on both? How do you feel you fit into the gender spectrum (if at all)? Do you think you get treated differently because of how you present? I realize my flist consists of mostly cis-gendered straight-ish women, so responses to the last couple aren't likely to be varied. I figure it's still worth a shot. Could be fun.
verloren1983: (Aww Crap)
 ☁ Still exhausted. I woke up the other day with a sore throat and stuffy nose. Yaaaaaaay. Hopefully it'll go away like colds seem to be going away for me lately- I've had quite a few "false starts" this season where I thought I was getting sick but then didn't. So far the hoping doesn't seem to be working, since I'm still all stuffy and miserable, but. *crosses fingers and toes*
 
☁ A little late to say this, but feel free to ignore previous post. Still feel that way, but I'm feeling a bit more sane about it, I guess? That kind of stuff isn't something I usually inflict on you guys. I'm blaming hormones and lack of sleep for that one. Especially since I really have no idea what's going on hormone-wise. My body did the girl thing for a day and then stopped, no lie. I don't know either. :/
 
☁ On a related tangent to the previous post... Erin has been joking around about me moving down with her for a while now. (Actually, SINCE she moved down there.) At this rate, it's going to become a serious conversation at some point. I know I would -HATE- it in the summer- New York is too hot for me, I don't even want to think about Texas. But it would still be a step above where I am, and I could hopefully find a job and save up some so that I can move somewhere that I would actually WANT to be. Because even if I did move to Texas, I can't see that being someplace that I'd want to live long-term. You know?
 
☁ Lappy has been restarting on its own more and more. I knew it was some kind of overheating problem, but I wasn't really sure why- most of the time, I sit with lappy sitting on the arm of the couch with the fan hanging over air- nothing obstructing the fan at all. After yet another restart, I hit google... I couldn't do quite what it said simply because apparently Toshiba has to be difficult and made it so that you have to take the whole damn laptop apart to get to the fan, but I did blow out the fan as well as I could through the vents with compressed air. It hasn't restarted since I've done it. Also lappy sounds SO much better, so clearly it needed to be done. Seriously. *hugs him*
 
So. Compressed air: not just for keyboards. Good to know.
 
☁ On that note, one more point for Chrome- when lappy does the suddenly restarting thing, Chrome DOES NOT LOSE ALL MY GOD DAMN TABS. Whereas Firefox, more often than not, does. (And yes, I have it set up to save them. Doesn't work if the laptop turns itself off in self defense.)
 
☁ In other news, I've more or less talked a co-worker into going to Pride with me. :3 There will be much fun and drinking. I would've gone anyway even if I'd been by alone, but it would've been a little awkward and I would've felt a little loser-y being there my myself. So yay. And she's bi/pan, so no awkwardness with the gay thing. Should be fun! :D

☁ There are potential plans in the works for a family meetup this fall... with Kelly and I going to see Erin, and then my father will supposedly come as well. I. Ugh. I'm supposed to be giving the idea a shot, but honestly? I don't WANT to. Maybe I'm being a bit of a child about this. I'm willing to accept that. Aside from not wanting to see him, this is my VACATION we're talking about. We are talking about me not being able to relax the entire week because he's there- during the time when I'm supposed to be able to relax and have fun and not have to worry about anything. I understand that it'll be easier if it's the three of us together. I really do get that. But it doesn't change the fact that I told Kelly I didn't want to have anything to do with this, and I told her that for a REASON. That reason being that I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS. Point blank. I don't know, maybe I'm being too selfish here. Am I being too selfish here?

(no subject)

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011 04:10 pm
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ Is it just me or is LJ being really super slow today?

☁ I was remixed for Remix Madness. TWICE. They are also both better than the original fics, which is both thrilling and terrifying at the same time. So. We have Natural (The 'People Put Their Mouths There?!' Remix) and Dignity, or Lack Thereof (The Everybody Loses Remix). Both are awesome. I sadly didn't write anything for it because I've been trying to BG and failing as it is, so. Heh. ^_^;;;

☁ A word of advice: don't be an asshole to the person developing your pictures. There was this guy yesterday that insisted on using the hour machine even though he wanted his prints ZOMGRITENAO, as opposed to the instant machine that I was trying to steer him to- and then had a cow because I kept emphasizing HOUR MACHINE. "But you can do them in ten minutes!" Um, it depends on how many pictures you've got, size, and the orders that are in front of you (because obviously if I have 500 pictures that are printing for someone else, you're gonna be waiting a while. Doesn't matter if you 'only have one.' Nothing I can do about that.) And, yes, how much of a dick you are to me. If you're a gigantic asshole? You better believe I'm going to make you wait the whole hour even if you have one 4 inch print (takes about five minutes if there's nothing else in queue). DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.

He kept arguing with me about how long HE thought it should take. So guess who got to wait the whole god damned hour for his 20-something pictures? >D

(I'd like to point out here that it is well within my right to tell him the extra time. Part of my job is time management and making sure that things are done when I tell the customer that they'll be done. Expecting him to wait an hour for prints when he used the machine that is clearly labeled as a "one hour" machine is certainly not unreasonable- and in fact if I had reason, like the previous 500 print example, I could've pushed it back further. If he hadn't been an asshole, I probably would've told him 20 minutes. Getting pics printed and packaged takes extra time when it's just me, myself, and I manning the entire front store. ^_^;;; But then, since he WAS a dick, he probably would've had a cow about the 20 minutes, too.)

☁ Got invited to a walking/running 5k in June that's part of the local Pride thing. I haven't decided whether I'm going to go or not. On one hand, it would be cool, especially since I didn't end up doing the April 5k. On the other hand, I'd have to get up at 6:30am at the absolute latest to take the bus, and that STILL wouldn't get me to registration on time (it's the earliest bus, btw). I don't think I have to be there exactly at 8 though. Or I'd have to call a cab and spend god knows how much for a ride downtown. I don't know. I have a couple of weeks to decide, registration is due at the end of the month.

The parade and PrideFest are the following day... I've always wanted to go and have never been able to because I always find out about the dates too late to ask for it off... I don't know how comfortable I am going to all of that by myself though. It's not like I can beg Erin to go with me. :/ But I dunno, I still want to. It's kind of pathetic that I've never been. And at least that way I don't have to worry about losing anybody and I can take my time doing whatever I feel like. I think my biggest concern is getting lost- I have a TERRIBLE sense of direction. I could probably get lost in a paper bag. But... I could probably just print off a map and the bus schedules I would need. Worst case scenario, I have my cell phone and I call a cab to go home. Right? Could be fun. I'm actually kind of reminded of a LOLcat pic here. ^_^;;;

☁ Watching Shuffle, which a coworker keeps suggesting to me. I'm four episodes into it. It's... pretty much a typical harem type anime? The main guy is kind of a dick and I'm really trying to figure out why in hell he's got all these girls in love with him... but again, that's typical of that genre. It has its moments, though. I also watched a few episodes of the new My Little Pony show for reasons I have yet to figure out. It is, frighteningly enough, not completely terrible. O_o So we shall see.

Now. Off to make the lasagna I've been putting off for weeks because I'm lazy, WRITE, clean, at some point check whatever homework I've accumulated while I haven't been paying attention to it (ugh, this online thing is SO not working for me so far), watch some more stuff, and maybe go for a walk later if I'm feeling up to that. Since I really need to start doing that again. Oh, and I need to go to the store because apparently the second bag of broccoli I bought for previously mentioned lasagna has conveniently disappeared. And apparently the tomato sauce as well. *GROWL* Salady things probably wouldn't hurt either. Mmm. Leaves. :3
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ How is it that I'm STILL finding stuff that I assume is from when I was drugged all to hell from appendix-splodey times because I don't remember downloading it? WTF, self? THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO. The sad thing is I'm not even kidding.

☁ The new term for gay is apparently now "rainbow-y". I'm totally using that the next time I come out to someone. "I'm rainbow-y. :D" *gigglefits*

☁ I should be working on [info]blind_go . Which, by the way, I still haven't started. Instead, my brain is torturing me with completely unrelated bunnies. One is finished at a bit over 2k and the other one isn't even close to the point and it's already over 2500. *headdeskheaddeskheaddesk* To add insult to injury, I've also totally been the queen of typos lately. WTF. I'm usually more careful than that in fic. At least. I -think- I'm more careful than that in fic. XD

☁ Somehow having both "Pay credit card bill" and "Do homework assignment" on my to-do list from the other day is a little O_o inducing. XD

☁ E-mailed a different person about an apartment share. I ACTUALLY GOT AN E-MAIL BACK! \o/ She has a few people interested, though, which doesn't surprise me considering availability in my area. I also was upfront and told her I that I'm gay (not in the initial inquiry e-mail, I promise XD), as much as that makes me cringe to basically go "Hi! I'm gay!". Because that's a potential dealbreaker and I'd rather not have issues with that later. Hopefully something will actually come of this one, but I'm not going to hold my breath. If it does pan out... it's for June 1st, so that gives me time to pack and clean and get things done, even if I don't do anything before [info]blind_go  is due. (And holy SHIT that's due in a little over a week, asdjklsajdksal). I just need to get a freaking move on... needs to get done anyway.

☁ I've been staring at my icons a lot lately- particularly the ones that were done in paint before I had photoshop and are therefore absolutely TERRIBLE quality. Cue Ver expression: :/ That's probably not a good sign. Especially since a lot of them I would need to go and get screenshots of again, and. Ugh. I did, at least, redo one of the LJ ones that was bothering me the most. It's not fantastic or anything, but it's miles better than what it was. Like. I might actually use it on occasion now. XD

☁ I've also been staring at a site I previously didn't know existed, because apparently they're having a sale, and trying to figure out whether I want to purchase anything. (vague reference is vague) But then I think... I probably want to wait on that one, TBH. Especially if the apartment thing works out- I need a new mattress anyway, but it gets put to priority if I move, because I am NOT moving that piece of shit mattress anywhere but the garbage heap. Just saying.
verloren1983: (Irish)
[livejournal.com profile] blind_go  round 11 is up- go sign up! The theme this time is "Childhood", which is going to be really interesting. It sounds like fun. :3 Also the support thread is up too, even if you're not planning on signing up. Readers are totally awesome too. :D

☁ What makes people think they have the right to make nasty commentary about your attempts to lose weight/eat healthier? I was getting some cereal, and since I have a tendency to put WAY too much milk in cereal, I measure it first. It works for me. Kelly saw me doing this and sneered "You're measuring your milk now? Isn't that going too far?" .....seriously? We proceeded to get into a fight because apparently me telling her that it was none of her business was me being a bitch when she was "just kidding." Right. Because you totally use that disgusted tone of voice when you're joking around with someone.

☁ EEEEEEEEEEE GLEE! Favorite. Episode. EVER. Kelly and I were squeeing through half the episode. I thought my heart would explode from squee. I've watched specific parts a bazillion times now. I've also taken a few screencaps. ^_^;;; And... Rachel's last song ended up good, as much as I hate to admit it. :/ And even though I was afraid at first, Puck's was surprisingly sweet. <3 And the Blaine and Kurt duet! <333!

☁ Edit: Totally forgot to mention this, because I was pissed off at the time... Kelly's boyfriend asked her if she was sure she wasn't faking being straight, when she mentioned watching Glee (Which I don't get, by the way- I know of a guy that was harrassed for being gay because he watches it, but if you're a girl, you're gay if you watch it? What? How does that make any sense in homophobe-logic? It doesn't follow their rules. Does not compute.) Anyway, Kelly turned to me and was like, "How do you fake being straight?" In all seriousness. I almost laughed at her, thinking "I don't know, I've never been any good at it." I mean really, how do you even answer something like that? XD
verloren1983: (Gaming)
- Had the best freaking shopping trip EVER yesterday. My sister and I went to the mall because I had to get my hair cut... again... and while we were looking around, I noticed that there was a new video game store, so of course I had to go in. I've mentioned before that I'm a masochist, right? ^_^;;; Anyway, after some looking around, I discovered- get this- SUIKODEN II. For those of you not in the know, this is a VERY rare, out of print game. I've never actually seen it in person before today because it's next to impossible to get unless you go online. And you're going to pay dearly for it, believe you me. The lowest I have ever seen it posted for is around $120 used, and no, that's not a typo. More often than not it's $200 and up. I've been looking for a physical copy of this game that wouldn't require the promise of a firstborn child for about eight years, no lie.

...this store had it for $89.99.

Needless to say, it came home with me. It's coming out of my savings, I don't even care, because holy HELL I actually found it. Okay, I care a little, but I know that I shouldn't because there's no way I could've passed that up. I realize that it's still a lot for a video game. Especially for a used game that was released 12 years ago. But this one is special, and I refuse to feel bad about spending so much on it. That being said, I won't be buying any games for a while to make up for it. ^_^;;; On the upside, I was in Borders two different times and walked away empty handed each time. So that's a good thing. :D

(With demand as high as it is, if Konami ever got a clue and releases the PSP Suikoden I/Suikoden II compilation outside of Japan, they'd make a freaking fortune. Just saying.)

- In addition, bought a cute pair of heart shaped rainbow earrings. It's been a long time since I've worn any rainbow jewelry... should be interesting. They're small enough that they're subtle, so it shouldn't cause any issues I don't think. At least, I never had any issues before when I was wearing that stuff all the time. Okay... except for one asshole I worked with, but he doesn't work there anymore, and besides that... I'm mostly out at work, so any problems would've come up by now. You know?

By the way, Border's GLTB section blows. It's just this tiny two foot section, and the bottom three or four shelves have like... five books on them, tops. It's sad, it really is.

- Also we did Ruby Tuesday's for dinner, since I've never actually been there, and while the food wasn't anything to particularly write home about, they had the yummiest regular Long Island Iced Tea I've ever tasted. Mmm. <3

-Okay, I know most of you don't care, but I need to talk about this last episode of Glee for a little bit. Skip if you'd rather, plzthnx.

Thought 1: asjdkslajdsl I've been reading Blaine/Kurt fic furiously the last day or so. I've shipped them since Blaine first showed up, but this is the first time that I've come away from an episode going "Holy shit, I NEED FIC." Seriously, if those two don't get together at some point, I'm going to die.

Thought 2: I've spent the last several weeks catching Kelly up on the show. The advantage of that, of course, is that I'd already seen everything, so I knew what to expect already and knew when to walk away and do something else for a few minutes during potential awkwardness. (She also ships Blaine/Kurt with me and we fangirl squee together, which is kind of fun.) What I didn't expect? CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Holy crap. In the interest of not being a jackass and spoiling stuff, I won't say what happened, but... let's just say that it figures that this is the first totally new episode that we've watched together. They actually ADDRESSED the elephant in the room that I thought the show would ignore until cancellation. I'm still in shock.

Spammy spam spam

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011 02:17 am
verloren1983: (Up To No Good)
What is it with all the posting lately? O_o

1. People who post to craigslist and don't e-mail you back suck. Just saying.

2. Have now seen the first six episodes of Fairy Tail and I already love it. <3 The good news is that RL has up through episode 68, so that'll keep me going a while. Plus it turns out that it's SIX eps of Hourou Musuko subbed already (!), so I have those to watch as well. I watched the first, and apparently they're starting in the middle somewhere, and it's kind of depressing. I can't help but think that it would be confusing for someone who hadn't read the manga already. The art/coloring is different, though, kind of... watercolory? I like it. ^_^ Also they use some Debussy for background music! <3 <3 <3 Also downloaded Pandora Hearts, since I've been meaning to watch that too and it's a shorter series.

3. That being said, I didn't do anything on my days off except for watch anime, play the Urbz, bake some more brownies for work tomorrow, and chat with Lish and Pye. Definitely a lazy couple of days. It was nice, but I probably should've done some actual work, heh.

4. Totally forgot to mention that I had another sort of "Do I have a rainbow on my forehead?" moment the other day. XD One of my coworkers, Mike, likes to point out girls he would like to fuck (subtly, mind, he doesn't announce it or anything), though he generally likes women younger and thinner than I do. I usually call him a pig and sometimes a pedo and it's all in good fun. ^_^ So anyway, he'd pointed a woman out. She was WAY too thin for my taste- seriously, she was in the "I want to take her home just to FEED her" category- but I'll admit she had a nice ass. Which, yes, I'll also admit that I might've... automatically looked at as she passed us, and this was after I'd given a thumbs down for too skinny. Once she was out of sight, Mike was like "I TOTALLY SAW THAT!" Um. Whoops? ^_^;;;;;;;;;; This is so why I'm not a ninja.

(no subject)

Friday, October 22nd, 2010 01:31 am
verloren1983: (Chi)
Okay, yes, I really should've written before now. I'm lazy, what can I say. I got back from Texas just fine, no problems there minus Newark changing the departure gate five times in addition to a three hour delay. Not fun, but not a huge thing either. I was also able to FINALLY change the rest of what I had in Canadian back to USD at the Houston airport. Got raped on the charges, but still ended up with almost $380. Really, it's just worth it to me to have money I can USE, you know?

☁The vacation was fun- swimming in October is SO surreal, though. My sister dragged us all over hell- beach, aquarium, park, museum, food, a street with a whole bunch of touristy shops, and there was even a last minute Nickelback concert which was awesome, by the way. I'm working on getting pictures pulled together and stuff, so hopefully those should be coming soon (as soon as Kelly retrieves her camera from her boyfriend's where she left it, that is). Probably no Nickelback pics because we were just too far away, though. Oh well. It was still a good time. When Erin was at work, her friend Ian spent time with us... talking and playing with the Wii, especially being SUPER GOOD at Mario (*cough*). Found out I apparently have pretty decent aim on Link's Crossbow Training even though I suck hardcore at first person shooters (and this is actually fun, wee!). Some pretty cool stuff and I got lots of nice goodies, but it was also good to veg out for the rest of my vacation after we got back. Just... a lot of running around everywhere. Including a day where the rain chased us all day and we had to change clothes about four times. Fuuuun. Also had the most disgusting Chinese food of my entire LIFE... note to self, never get Chinese there again. EVER.

☁Not much else going on here. As much as I was out in the sun, I don't have a tan. I'm a teeny bit darker on my forearms, but that's it. *sigh* That's the problem with being as white as I am- I have two color options. Blinding white and lobster red. At least I didn't burn. XDDD I went back to work today too, which, predictably, sucked. I also got roped into switching a shift on Sunday that means waking up at 7am. UGH. In writing news, I have a couple of songs pinging me so hard for fic it's not even funny. I'm trying to decide whether I actually want to write them or not. :/

☁There's also this character I've been thinking about a lot and unintentionally developing. She started out as a genderswapped version of a character, and she's kind of... turning into an actual OC. O_o Because I totally need another neglected OC muse in my head. Pfft.

☁Stef and I are constantly talking about places we MEAN to go, but never actually do it. Example: We've been talking about taking a trip to New York City for YEARS. The most recent thing was Montreal this past summer. However, Stef apparently has it in her head that we're going to Boston for a few days in May, and that we're actually DOING it this time. *coughcough* I won't hold my breath, I don't think. Still... I've never been to Boston. So if we do go, it should be interesting. It appeals to the history geek in me. :3 We'll see what happens.

☁Wouldn't mention this except it's a total "We need to write this on a calendar!" type moment. My mother actually made a positive comment about my hair. THAT WASN'T BACKHANDED. O_O I've been coloring my hair a dark auburn color lately. I still haven't totally decided whether I like the red or not, but that's a whole other thing... my mom told me today that the color looks nice on me. *dies of shock* I think she still hates how short it is, but hell, I'll take it.

☁Because it amuses me... a snippet of conversation from the other day, when we were discussing Dragon Age. Specifically, Alistair, who it seems the general girlgaming population has a thing for. Which I kind of get, but... eh. *shrugs*

Ver: Alistair is totally the fun older brother type to me.
Fei: Yeah but Ver you are like the gayest person
Ashe: lmaaaooo truefax

...am I that obvious? <_<

☁Oh, somewhat related, I totally forgot- I think I got hit on by a cashier in Galveston... a female one. O_o She called me beautiful twice in the time it took her to ring me up for one item (tampons, embarrassingly enough, GOD). Unfortunately I didn't manage to do anything about it besides blush a lot and look around to try to figure out who she was talking to. XD
verloren1983: (Homophobia)
☁ Went looking for Ron/Hermione fic the other day, just something I was in the mood for... ugh. I was regretting that, let me tell you. Badly written, OOC... I'll have to try to remember to not go looking for that pairing again. >_< I'm not exactly surprised- I remember making an observation when I first started reading fanfic that all the good writers seemed to be H/D- but I'm certainly disappointed. Meh.

☁ Found this interaction with a then coworker I wrote up a little over a year ago and thought it was amusing. And I apparently never posted it. So here we go.
Justin: I saw that! You were totally checking her out!
Me: Buh?
Justin: I could see it on your face as I was talking. "Listening to Justin, listening to Justin, SO not listening to Justin."
Me: Oh, shut up.
...kind of goes with the thing of "Do I have a rainbow on my forehead?" Because I'm not actually OUT at work, though there's a couple of people that know, and I certainly never told Justin. :/ Not that I had anything to worry about there. He had his faults, certainly, but homophobia wasn't one of them. ^_^

☁ Thinking about putting up a post here... maybe after the spotlight goes away, though. They're already drowning in posts, I don't need to add to that. I just think it's a really awesome idea. :D

☁ Working on some original fic (and no, Ai, not "Trials of a Photo Girl" XD) The influence from The Lovely Bones is clearly showing. Whoops. I may or may not ever post it or even finish it, but we'll see. ^_^ Though this is making me love yWriter. It's my new best friend. <3

☁ Trying to watch Repo! The Genetic Opera. Trying being the key word. WTF IS THIS SHIT? Edit: Finished it, eventually. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but I'm not a fan. :/

(no subject)

Thursday, March 19th, 2009 01:49 am
verloren1983: (Gaming)
YAY. Days off are good. <3 Staying in and recharging ones batteries? Even better. ^_^

1. I think I'm mostly better with the exception of a lingering sore throat. Yay. Well, and headaches that don't seem to be going away, but that could be a combination of factors. My hair is too long, for one. Yes... I do get migraines if my hair gets too long. Ugh. I also need to get my eyes checked. May need a new prescription. Also overdue for the girl bit, so that may be playing a hand in it too.

2. Got linked to this really cool site- The Backloggery. Basically it's like MAL for video games. The idea is to keep track of what games you have, what you've finished, what you're still working on- so that you can go through your backlog and finish games that you already own. A fantastic way to not only keep track of things, but to remind yourself why you don't need that new game right now- you already have xx games unfinished! However, I didn't need to know exactly how many games I have....... and I haven't even started putting in ds, advance, or snes games. *headdesk*

On that note, I've picked up Suikoden IV again, since I've had that almost finished for... well, forever. And I'm reminded quite vividly why I hate levelling up. *sigh* It's so BORING. And where I'm at level wise, it takes freaking FOREVER to go up just one level. And I can't go anywhere fun to level up- I'm stuck where I am, so basically, I have to go up and down these stairs from hell fifty billion times to go up one level. I'M SO SICK OF THESE FUCKING STAIRS! *growls* Can't I just magic myself to level 70? Pleeeeeeeeease? I also really, really hate the final boss. There is no reason a freaking TREE should be kicking my ass like this at level 63. Granted, I missed the final hammer and so can only sharpen weapons to level 12 instead of 16, but COME ON.

3. I have been successfully keeping my checkbook balanced since Friday. Score! This has two purposes. One, I'll actually... *gasp* KNOW what's in my account instead of a vague "Well, I've got to have at least this much..." Two, it's a way of tracking my spending so I can see EXACTLY where my money's going. And trim accordingly. ^_^ For now, my only reaction is, holy crap I use my bank card A LOT. XDDD

4. Started watching Merlin. First episode down......... eh, I dunno. I'll keep watching it for now, but there are several things that bother me. What doesn't bother me? For whatever reason, it brings out the snarky comments, which is highly entertaining. We'll see what happens. *shrug*

5. Apparently Aki's friend pegged me as gay the first time I met her. *sigh* Well, it's not the first time that's happened when I've met someone. Which sort of baffles me. I'm... more on the androgynous side, yeah, but I'm not butch by any stretch of the imagination. And it's not like when I first realized I was gay and so wore something rainbow-colored all the time- that stuff has been in the back of my jewelry box for several years now. Do I have a sign on my forehead that says "DYKE" or something? Jeez. XD I'm just curious.

Random

Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 04:45 am
verloren1983: (Teddy)
On a completely random note, is it weird that my cat snores? Seriously, she actually snores, it's not purring in her sleep. I've just... never heard of a cat doing that before and I'm completely baffled.

And on to more randomness... quizzies and quotes and whatnot, just so I can get them the hell off my computer!

"Discrimination is a Virgo characteristic. So is subtlety of thinking. Black and white perceptions imply a simple universe, and to you the universe is rarely simple. It's more like a huge, boundless jigsaw puzzle, and it can drive you crazy if you're missing a piece or if there isn't a picture on the top of the box showing you how the puzzle should look when it's finished."


You're obviously a lesbian. Sheesh. Who do you
think you're kidding?


What Kind of Lesbian Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bah

Saturday, January 28th, 2006 02:22 am
verloren1983: (Cry)
Do you have any idea how unnerving it is to wander into someone's online journal, only to realize that it's actually someone you KNEW when you were growing up? *shudder* I'm half tempted to go over and say hi, but then again... maybe not. The less people I subject to my incessant ramblings, the better. Besides- it's like "Yeah, I'm 22 and I work in a dead end retail job and I still live with my mother." That's real impressive. Granted, I'm only living with my mother BECAUSE I have a dead end retail job that pays shit and therefore can't afford my own place, and I do pay a fair portion of the bills, but still. That's just going to bring the thought to mind "Well... that's... pretty pathetic." Ugh. I don't even know why I give a damn about what anybody else thinks, but I do. I don't think anybody is even aware of how much it kills me to admit that.

You know... I never REALLY realized how much of a coward I am until yesterday. Well, I mean, I knew, but I hadn't thought it was quite as bad as it really is. Kelly mentioned yesterday that she's thinking about getting a Myspace account and I completely freaking FLIPPED OUT. Not at her (of course), but as soon as she left the room I did a complete edit of my profile/journal on that site, making sure to delete anything that referred to my sexuality in any shape or form. Hence... my return to Livejournal after almost a year of yet again forgetting I even had the stupid thing. I need to journal, because I'm like that, but I need a SAFE place to journal where my nosy little sister can't find it. OpenDiary is pain in the ass (not to mention they got hackers a while back and lost several months worth of people's journaling... so let's just say I don't trust that site too much anymore), so Live Journal it is. Of course, I have the attention span of a two year old, so... we'll see how long that lasts. Overall... I'm so incredibly ashamed of myself for selling out like that. And it leaves me wondering- what am I so afraid of? It's not like Kelly would be surprised if I came out to her. I mean, the kid has asked me on several occasions if I was gay. Her homophobe idiot boyfriend has strongly suspected for a long time, and he's the one that originally brought my kind of obvious gayness to Kelly's attention *coughITTAKESONETOKNOWONEcough*. Mom suspects I think. No, I know she does. And I really don't see my extended family too much, so even though it would kind of hurt if they rejected me, it would be okay. The only person I'm really sorta worried about is Rodney, my cousin Mary's husband. I'm not sure how he'd react. Especially considering that he has two little girls (nine and five), and some people have the very wrong idea that gay people molest children. (Okay, I'm sure some of them do, just like some straight people do it, but that's a very small minority and I would never ever touch a child. Period.) Or maybe I'm just being paranoid. My point is, I'm not really sure why I'm okay telling everybody BUT Kelly and my mom. While I'm figuring that out, I guess I'm just going to have to deal with being a paranoid nitwit.

I got my hair cut on Saturday and I completely hate it. It's entirely too short- but then again, my hair grows fast so in a couple of weeks it'll be fine. It's all good.

In other news, I found my bank card... underneath a bag of clothes in my room that I haven't moved in over a month. ?? No idea how that happened. Oh, and I finally got my W-2's in the mail... all I need now is the bank statement on my interest for the year and I'm all set to do my taxes. I should get a nice juicy check this year... ~hello~ x-box, new clothes, and a mattress that doesn't try to pierce me to death!

Alright, I'm just going to go away now. Until next time!

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