(no subject)

Wednesday, July 10th, 2013 02:14 am
verloren1983: (Cookies)
Okay, I know I've been posting a lot lately. Apologies. I've decided it might be a good idea to post more, at least for now, even if I'm just babbling about what I'm watching or making a list of what I managed to do for the day or whatever. XD Speaking of:

Things Done Today:

Finalized fall schedule. It's... well, unfortunately there's not much that can be done about it, so much is unmoveable. Things are MUCH more smooshed together than I would like them to be, especially since one of my classes is a considerable distance from everything else (Weight Management, go figure. XD). I'm going to have to BOOK IT to get to certain classes on time. I did end up picking Statistics over Bio. Bio is just... so much more work. x_x And no 2 hour labs. What also pissed me off- when my advisor had put me down for Creative Writing, he was like, try to make sure you get X teacher if you can, because he's a published author and yadda yadda yadda. So I did, back in April when I made my tentative schedule. When I checked it today? THEY'VE CHANGED THE PROFESSOR. And the only CW class he's teaching now is at 6pm which is totally undoable for me. Graaah. On the upside, regardless of what day it is, I'm done by 4, which is nice. :D
Made a chart of said schedule (might sound silly, but I'm a visual person and it helps). Class names are underneath the photo as always.
Weighed in (not particularly happy, but eh, it helps keep me accountable for what I'm doing)
Ate over 1k calories (hey, it's an improvement)
☁ Drank a bottle of water (again, improvement)
Got up through episode 6 of Taishou. It's cute and indeed very gay- and as a matter of fact, the seiyuu who does Tomoe also does the voice for Amane in Strawberry Panic, which helps with the gay. XD It's a little disturbing to me how much older the boys look, though. I mean. I know they're older. But the main girl looks about 8 (even though she's supposed to be almost 14) and her supposed male love interest looks about 25. Eeew. It's a little pedo-y to me since the apparent age difference is so exaggerated. Unfortunately I discovered that for some reason, my episode 7 doesn't have subs, so I'm working on getting a version that works and then we'll continue on.
Painted my nails a nice bright purple and added shimmer. :) (speaking of, I can't believe I don't have a polish tag. WTH. XDDD)
Cleaned some~ (Okay, fine, "some" is a 20 minute set, but it's better than nothing and I'm taking it XD I filled a garbage bag, at any rate. I'm hoping I can manage at least two sets tomorrow.)
☁ SLEPT. For like a 5 hour chunk all at once without waking up once. O_O (Even though I could totally go back to sleep, not gonna lie) YAY. :D :D :D :D :D :D

It's supposed to be really nice on Friday (No rain! Not 90+ degrees! It's like a miracle!), so I'm thinking of doing... I dunno, something. Maybe I'll go downtown to the park. I haven't really figured it out yet, but the point is to GO OUTSIDE and ENJOY IT, at any rate. :P May or may not get Kelly to go with me, but I'd actually almost prefer she not, because then I don't have to worry about entertaining her for however many hours. And if it's just me, I can sit down under a tree and write for a while or something. Asking just seemed like the polite thing to do. So we'll see. XD On that note, I think I'm going to test this episode and maybe try and sleep some more. Later~

*EDIT* Or, yanno, there are subs but they seem to be in German. UGH. Be careful what you wish for, I guess? XD
Nevermind, got one that has working English subs finally. ^_^;;;

verloren1983: (Smile)
I'm still sleep deprived, but I've actually gotten more than a couple of hours sleep and am feeling noticeably more sane, which is good. My sleep deprivation was pretty severe and I think that had a lot to do with my meltdown Saturday night going into Sunday morning. Still not where I should be in either sleep or mood, BUT I'm getting sleep when I can and I've just been trying to not give myself a hard time about things at the moment. Oh, and, yanno, I'm trying really hard to at least pretend to be somewhat normal emotionally. It feels a bit like I'm forcing positivity, but I'll take it over the absolute mess that I was Sunday. Anyway. MOVING ON.

Finished both Planetes and Kuroko no Basket. Planetes is fucking fabulous and everyone should watch it, though it's a little multiple personality? The first half is mostly episodic and silly, the second half has an actual overarching serious plot and is basically the complete opposite of the first. When I started this- hell, even 10 episodes into it- I didn't think I would end up liking it as much as I did. Final MAL score- 9. Kuroko... okay, so I haven't COMPLETELY changed my mind about it, however, it did start to grow on me just a little. Most of that had to do with Nigou. Apparently if you add a cute animal to a mediocre show, it improves my overall view of it, even when said animal isn't even in all the episodes after it's introduced. Yeah. Also I came out of it shipping Hyuuga/Riko, which has very little fic- like there are 18 tagged with it on AO3, and for most of those, they are either a side pairing or part of a threesome. Sob. Will I watch season 2? Eh, yeah, probably, but I'm also a masochist. Final MAL score- 6.

Also, remember how I said I was alternating episodes on those? I don't think I'll do that again. It had its benefits, sure. It pushed me through Kuroko when I didn't feel like watching it, because I had to get through it to see another episode of Planetes. But it just seemed to take so freaking LONG to get through these, and having to switch gears from one to the other all the time was just. Eh. Apparently my usual way of marathoning stuff I like until burn myself out works better for me. :P

So now I've just started watching Taishou Yakyu Musume, for two reasons- one, it's only 12 episodes, and two, I've been told it's cute and fluffy. Cute and fluffy is good. *nodnod* Seems cute. I also watched the first ep of Free!. I wasn't going to because I generally don't watch things in progress, it pisses me off, but eh. Seems interesting so far. They've got my attention for the moment anyway. I don't have anything else to say on those, since I've only seen one episode of each.

That being said, if anybody has any recs for anything that's cute/fluffy and relatively short (preferably 26 episodes or less, but I will make exceptions for things like Chi's Sweet Home that only have about 3 minute episodes XD), I will take them. I've seen Chi, obviously, and Bottle Fairy and A Little Snow Fairy Sugar and you know what, it's probably easier if I just give you my MAL. XD It doesn't have to be anything that's already on my list, either.

Oh. And I've lost just over 7 pounds. Certainly not going to complain about that. :3 (Edit: I should probably add that this has been over the last two weeks, not over the last few days. And I do tend to lose more quickly in the beginning and then slow down later, so this isn't an alarming amount to me.)

verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
Okay. So I know I owe you guys a legit update entry at some point, but I did want to make sure that I documented this one thing before I inevitably forgot to.  ^_^; So when I got that e-mail that said I'd won that writing award, it came with an invitation to a ceremony for the people being published where everyone would read their stories.  I said I would, because really, how often am I really going to be able to do that? In the moment, I thought it was pretty cool. I didn't consider my social phobia until later. Whoops?

This got longer than I planned... )
verloren1983: (Sigh)
- Final call: Holiday card post here (DW) and here (LJ). I am sending these out this afternoon at some point, so they will go out TOMORROW. (Hopefully they'll get where they need to be in time- apologies if they don't. Meant to do it yesterday and didn't manage to leave the house.)

Long, you guys know the drill. )

(no subject)

Friday, November 11th, 2011 03:45 am
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ You know those moments where you can kind of imagine your head exploding? Yeah. I actually =felt= my brain explode Monday. Well, not literally, obviously, but I felt SOMETHING happen in my head. That's... not good, is it? O_o (Basically, the cause was a severe WTF moment with a coworker. I was seriously like, "Uh... what just happened? O_O")

☁ Faith in humanity- somewhat restored. THANK GOD. I'd say that maybe the defeat in Mississippi will make these idiots rethink this whole "Personhood" thing, but.... my faith in humanity isn't THAT restored. XD

☁ Kinda scary how I hear myself in this video. Not the whole thing, mind. But the part where she's talking about coping mechanisms, and the people that totally shut down? Yeeeeeah. I have actually SAID the phrase she uses. That being said, I don't think it's a coping mechanism for the fear of loneliness. Don't get me wrong, it's definitely a coping mechanism. But it's more as a way of avoiding pain in the first place. She does mention that, but I think the connection to the fear of loneliness is misplaced. Fear is part of it, sure, but that's a fear of rejection, not loneliness. Though maybe that's just me.

☁ Okay, BN, really? =SIX= separate shipments for eleven items is "as few as possible?" Especially when three of those shipments have one or two books? WTF? I really don't get how these companies work sometimes.

☁ It's strange how sometimes you can have a strong reaction to some inanimate object you've never seen before. I saw this journal in the mall the other day and it just... pulled at me. I don't even KNOW. All of a sudden I was just trying really hard not to cry (how embarrassing would THAT have been, jeez), and GUH. Butterflies have an instant association in my head with my grandmother, as she used to call me Butterfly. I don't know whether it's that she's been on my mind subconsciously or what, that made me react the way I did, but... needless to say, I purchased the journal. (Luckily it wasn't that expensive- it's actually cheaper in Hallmark than it is on Amazon, go figure.) I've decided that I'm going to use it as a "school journal" when I go back. Appropriate, in a way. ^_^

verloren1983: (Squee)
As of June 24, 2011, New York State has officially passed same sex marriage. So effective at the end of next month, gay marriage will be legal in my home state. That's just... incredible to me. We took such a blow when California struck it down. I know a lot of us thought that if California of all places didn't legalize it, then we were all screwed. And yet... here we are. Sadly I had to work and didn't get to go down to Albany to see the whole thing happen, but eh. It's enough that it happened. As a gay person, this means so much to me that I can't even describe it. There are no words. Just love.

Cut because I ramble forever~ )

(no subject)

Sunday, June 5th, 2011 12:00 am
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ Finished Hana Kimi. SO CUTE. *_* Now I can concentrate on other things.

Cut for bra/size talk~ )

☁ I own shorts for the first time in my adult life. Granted, they're to my knees so they're not particularly short, but still. Kind of strange. I'm not thrilled with the idea of wearing shorts, but it beats being downtown in the middle of June with a zillion people in JEANS. And dresses are just. So not me. XD I also found sandals that I don't totally hate and FIT for the first time in a few years. Mmm, Earth shoes. So comfy. <3

This is totally awesome. Not only did a MtF transgirl run for prom queen- SHE WON. I can't even imagine having that kind of bravery in high shool. Wow. She looks absolutely stunning in the photo, too. Good for her! (As you might expect, don't read the comments, you'll lose all faith in humanity.)

☁ Also, a Chinese woman became the first Chinese person to ever win a Grand Slam singles title. Not that I have any interest in tennis whatsoever aside from the animated cracky physics defying kind, but still pretty cool! :D
verloren1983: (Computer Friends)
☁ Random stupid question to the flist: What's the difference between a crossover and a fusion? *headtilts* I've seen people refer to one or the other exclusively, but I've never been able to get a solid answer as to what exactly the difference is.

☁ I have some of the best friends EVER. Seriously, I love you guys, you're awesome. I'm so lucky. ♥

☁ Kelly's boyfriend and his parents got her a Kindle for her birthday. I am unreasonably jealous. XD I told her I'd pull some books together for her out of my collection, but I'd have to convert most of them, so we'll see how that goes. ^_^;;; On the upside, this will give me a chance to play with it before I purchase one for myself. Eventually. When I've earned it. :3

☁ Speaking of Kelly's birthday... my baby sister is freaking 25. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? O_o

☁ I think I might FINALLY be losing in my chest. My bras are fitting weirdly again, mostly in the cup area. I'm kind of afraid to get measured though, because they NEVER give me good news. Maybe the next time I go get my hair cut. Possibly.

☁ I was reading something in a magazine at work today about how a lot of people have a vitamin D deficiency and don't know it- and how it can cause tiredness and lack of energy. It said that 100% of overweight women have NO vitamin D left in their system by the time March rolls around. Hmmmmmm. That could explain why I've been feeling so crappy and exhausted the last couple of months? Worth a shot, right? Apparently 2,000 IU is recommended for adults, but 5,000 IU if you're overweight (because fat sucks up vitamin D and so reduces how much your body actually gets to begin with, oh joy), and most people don't get anywhere close to that. When the store brand vitamins go on sale at work, I'll probably pick some up. Try it for a few months and see if I feel any better- the article said it can take 1-3 months before you start seeing a change. I mean god, at this point it can't hurt.

☁ Also learned today about supplements: Studies apparently suggest that Omega 3's could be as good as anti-depressants for some people. Hrm. Something else to look into potentially. God, I'm getting old. I'm already taking a multi-vitamin and cinnamon (supposed to assist weight loss and metabolism), though the cinnamon a lot more reliably than the multi, but still. Oh, and I try to remember to take Magnesium during my period because a doctor told Stef that the whole "my stomach rebels against everything I eat" thing during that time of the month could be a deficiency there, but most of the time I forget (so I have yet to figure out if it actually works or not). Edit: I forgot about the fiber gummies. Yes, I'm old and take extra fiber. My stomach is and always has been a finicky bitch, okay? XD Now we're talking about adding MORE vitamins to that. God. Can we backtrack a few years when I never even gave this stuff a second thought? ......on the other hand, I was also about 45 pounds heavier. Never mind. ^_^;;;
verloren1983: (Dancing (Hikaru No Go))
I have felt like a whining whiny thing in the last several entries- yes, moreso than usual- so! A list of good things that have been happening! Or at least... a list of not-so-bad things! :D :D :D

1. The holidays are over and something resembling sanity has returned. Thank fucking GOD. I feel vaguely human again. ^_^

2. I also have the MONIES from the holidays sitting in the bank. :D (Realistically, I should probably put a good portion of that into my savings account so I don't do anything stupid with it, heh)

3. Yes, I work retail and they ALWAYS cut hours everywhere they can after the holidays. My hours, however, have not been touched. :D

4. Speaking of cutting hours, June, one of my coworkers that everyone HATES, has been cut down to one day a week now instead of two. That day? Tuesday. Guess who doesn't work Tuesdays? Guess who doesn't have to deal with June and her bullshit for the forseeable future? :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D This, guys, will make my work environment so much more pleasant, you have no idea. The mondays I would work with her were hell- and this would be the last day of my work week, so it was pretty much an "icing on the cake" kind of thing. Or in really bad weeks, a "the straw that broke the camel's back" kind of thing.

Seriously, guys, this is the best thing that's happened to me at work in a long time. *happy dances, throws rainbows and sparkly things everywhere*

5. I figured out that if I lose a minimum of five pounds a month- which is TOTALLY doable and reasonable as long as I quit slacking- I can be at or below my initial goal weight by this time next year. Assuming I stay on track with that, if I visit Erin in October like I did in 2010... the next time I see her, I will be roughly FIFTEEN POUNDS FROM GOAL. Wouldn't THAT be fucking amazing?

So overall, not all is bad, huh? :D
verloren1983: (Sigh)
1. SO not ready to go back to work today. Mentally, physically. Just..... ugh. Still don't feel well, which isn't helping matters any. I'm... really wishing I hadn't let Scott guilt trip me into working Tuesday. I really could've used the extra rest.

2. I'm seriously considering apping Elenor from Suikoden IV as either an Astronomy teacher or Caretaker. A ghost could be fun, but the only spot open is Gryffindor, and she's SO not that. .......someone please talk some sense into me. <_< The whole two of you I think that know Suikoden. XD

3. I have a new computer chair. \o/ And I found out why the old one had gotten so unstable- the metal plate underneath the seat, the one that holds the seat to the bottom? Cracked. Almost all the way. So it's good that I got this now, because I don't know if it would've lasted another week, and whoever was sitting on it at the time (probably me) could've hurt themselves

4. Also got the boxes and customs forms for shipping. Everything fits, yay! Just need bubble wrap. :P Though the bad part is that my mother has been nosing through the boxes and wants to know where I'm shipping and how much it's going to cost. It's none of your god damn business, go away! *flails* Of course I can't SAY that, unfortunately, and it doesn't help when Kelly tells her shit behind my back. -_-

Sometimes? I really want to run away.


Monday, August 25th, 2008 02:23 pm
verloren1983: (What the Fuck)
Redid a couple of icons and added a new one, because I can't believe I never had a brain broken icon. What the hell, self? That's probably the one I'm most happy with, actually. I'm still not thrilled about the plot bunny fix... but I still have the photoshop file, so I'll probably play with it more later when I don't have to leave for work in a half hour. On the upside, this is probably... at least the fifth time I've tried editing the Mitani icon, and I finally got something that worked. Possibly because I used a better quality picture. Screencaps off of youtube? Okay for iconning most times, but not if you're going to crop the picture a lot. *sigh*

Need to work more on subrosa. Need it to not suck. Need it to not be OOC, even. *headdesk* I'm about 400 words in and it's already made of fail. SUUUUUUUCK.

My foot is feeling better. Not 100% back to normal yet, but mostly. I can walk without wanting to cry from pain, yayz~!

On that happy note, I've got to hop in the shower. Work= fail.
verloren1983: (Tail Wag)

Okay, I'm done going on about the concert. If you chose to skip- it was fucking awesome and SO worth it, despite some sucks. And the fact that my ears are still ringing a little bit. Work should be fun. XD "What? I can't hear you, can you shout for me?" XDDDD Speaking of which, I should probably get ready for that soon. Later! <3

(no subject)

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008 12:23 pm
verloren1983: (WayaSumi)
1. New cell phone is here as of yesterday~! And I'm in love with it already. So much cool stuff- and yeah, okay, the full keyboard is going to take some getting used to, but once I do, texting is going to go so much faster. Now I just need to figure out if/what I'm going to name it. ^_^;;;;;;

2. Started watching Zombie-Loan. It's very interesting- and short, so I can finish it quickly. ^_^ I kept thinking the one character sounded familiar, so I looked up his seiyuu... he does A LOT of voices! Isumi in Hikaru no Go, Seiji in Sensitive Pornograph, Hikaru in Ouran.... and there was more that I took note of, too. Quite a bit of BL. I'm still shocked. It -never- occurred to me that the seiyuu for Isumi and Seiji were the same! XD Fail, Ver. I fire myself. XD

3. I did absolutely nothing yesterday. Well... okay, I watched four episodes of Zombie-Loan, but that doesn't really count as anything productive. Today? I should REALLY clean off my desk at the very least, it's disgusting. And ihikago, dammit. *kicks self* I have to get those done either tonight or tomorrow to abide by my self imposed deadline- I won't be home Friday/Saturday. *sigh* I'm going over to my sister's friday night, and then we're going to a concert/fest thing on Saturday. We're also supposed to be going out on Saturday night, since Marc is supposed to be visiting for all of this, and then I'll probably get dropped off at work on Sunday. So in case I don't make another post before then: I won't be around all of this weekend till Sunday night. ^_^;;;;

4. Personality types are confusing. I usually test as either ISTJ or INTJ (depends on my mood or something, apparently), but I was reading the description for INTP and that one made sense to me as well? *sigh* Oh well.

I really should get going if I'm going to get things done today. Though I'm still feeling sleepy and I don't really feel like it. Meh.

**EDIT** I just found out that I'm horrifically bad at Resident Evil. *sigh* I should've expected that, really. XD

**EDIT 2** More evidence I get the best ideas in the shower. I was in there just a little bit ago, getting all clean (I smell like apple now, yum~), and it came to me. Vivi. The name for my new phone. *hearts*

(no subject)

Monday, June 9th, 2008 03:16 am
verloren1983: (Crazy Butterfly)
1. Still sick. We've now progressed to coughing. So not cool. As much as the sore throat sucks, I kinda like being able to breathe, plzthnx.

2.[info]fifthmus assignment: Figures. XD That's all I'm going to say about that right now. I had a funny feeling about who I was going to get, and I was right. Now I just have to stare really really hard at the list of prompts and see if a bunny jumps out at me. XDDD

3. I was talking to one of the kids at work today, and all of a sudden something occurred to me- I can take the hard drive from Isumi, put it in Kuwabara, and see if I can extract the information off of it. DUH. Why did I not think of this before? *headdesk* It must've been just so obvious that it never even occurred to me.

Well... actually, now I know why I didn't think of it before- it's a lot of fucking work. XD The good news is that I got the hard drive transferred, and it WORKS. Which is awesome, because that was always one of the possibilities, that the computer died because the hard drive was shot. But no. It works just fine. ^_^ So now I'm in the process of copying everything to my external drive... though now I'm thinking... hell. The internet works on this (obviously). I never had the restarting issues with that computer. So why not just use this until I get the new one? Honestly. The only really sucky part is that for some reason it doesn't like my mouse and keyboard. Which is alright, I suppose, but the ones I'm using as replacements are older than crap and the mouse doesn't really work like it should. Ugh.

In other computer news, I realized today that I was very, very over generous with my math in the 'when I can get a new computer' calculations. I somehow gave myself way too much play money- I mean jeez, as long as I don't do anything overly stupid, I can save twice as much as I'd allowed for this month. O_o Plus next month is a 5 paycheck month as opposed to the usual 4. Which means... I should be able to get the laptop I want by the end of NEXT MONTH. And this is including getting a replacement cell phone. *cheers* So then by August/September I should be able to swing a new mattress. ^_^ YAY!!!!

Man, sleepy. But with as hot as it's been... there's no better time than the middle of the night to get errands done. And I really, really need groceries. And laundry. Damn.

**EDIT** GAH. It figures. When I left the house, it was humid, but fine. When I was almost to the store, it started to sprinkle. And by the time I left the store? It was pouring. >_< Carrying home heavy groceries in the rain? SUCKAGE. And now it's almost 5am and there's no way laundry's getting done unless I want to be up until 7am. Which I most definitely don't. Maybe... I can gather up my clothes now, and that way I can get up semi early and just pop everything right in the wash? Hmmm....


Sunday, April 27th, 2008 08:59 am
verloren1983: (Dancing (Hikaru No Go))
I'm going back to bed in a few minutes, but I just had to post this: people who did direct deposit on their tax returns (read: ME ^_^) will get their Stimulus checks by the end of May. Kelly told me it was on the news, and I went to go look it up- sure enough, here it is right from the horses' mouth. According to this, the money will be in my bank account by May 9. Which means, for those not keeping track, that I can give my mother this for her car and THERE WILL BE A MINIMUM OF BITCHING. *cheers* Oh man, I'm so glad now that I did the direct deposit, honestly. Otherwise it would've been... the end of June before they even sent out the check. This way? I'll have the money to her before her registration runs out, and will prevent war in my house. It still sucks to lose the money- I could seriously use that as a cushion for my trip- but it will keep the peace, and I won't miss it if I don't have it in the first place, so there you go. I never thought I'd have reason to actually thank the current administration, but seriously, THANK YOU. This is a lifesaver, honestly. <333

Oh, I found my debit card and my ID. I had left them at work, because I'm clearly a moron. ^_^;;;;;;;;;

I purchased the bus ticket today, which should be arriving in the mail in the next few weeks. So now I just need to be GOOD and not spend any more money than necessary to maximize the amount I'll be able to bring with me on my trip. Do I want to spend all of it? No, of course not. But as it is, I'll need a good chunk JUST for Anime North- hotel and tickets and whatnot. I'll just have to save up as much as I can before I go... and be as careful as possible while I'm up there. Nothing overly stupid either before the trip or while I'm there. XD

I've also lost three of the six pounds I gained when I started eating like crap again, so I'm back at my official "starting weight". Hopefully it'll just be downhill from here. ^_^

Work was better last night. Mary was bitchy all day to me again, but didn't actually say anything to me- however, I just kept talking to her like normal, and by the end of the night she seemed okay with me again. Whatever. The thing is, to me? I can't stand her as a coworker, honestly, however... I still have to work with her, you know? So I figure that I just need to try to get along with everybody as much as I can. I guess it's a good thing that I can get along with just about anybody, even if it's just on the surface and I actually hate their guts.

....and now that I've been screwing around and it's almost 10am, I really need to go back to bed. XD Night all!
verloren1983: (Gaming)

Alright, I'm a little distracted at the moment because I've got a game that's currently calling my name rather loudly... and the fact that the computer is being as slow as hell is NOT helping matters. Need to write this entry, make up an account for my fic like I've been meaning to do and keep forgetting about, and go back to it. Yes.

I got a hell of a shock when I got up today... my federal income check had come in. Already. Wheeee! So I was very bad. Although... there was nothing rash about it, as the purchases made have been plotted out for months, but still. I hate spending that kind of money. ......I finally got an x-box. Yay! And Fable to go along with it, because I've wanted that game since it freaking came out and couldn't get it for the obvious reasons. Okay, well I could've... but there wouldn't have been any point to it. And I did get God of War, since they actually had it. So yeah... nearly $200 later... Funny, how I'd never bought an "M" rated game in my life and yet I purchased two in one day. Go figure. Good thing is that I left with exactly what I went in there for and nothing more than that, which is... actually, quite remarkable for me. Yayness.

(dammit, Fable, I'm coming, so stop calling me!)

Uh... I need to go now. Later!

Friends... Or Maybe Not

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006 11:34 am
verloren1983: (Yay)
1)I had the shock of my life when I came into work today- my boss John told me that they put in a raise for me! Considering I just had my yearly in November/December… so this would be my first ever merit raise (which CVS isn’t actually supposed to do, and John told me as much). He was like “I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you do… I know you work really hard.” -- This will give me roughly $50-$60 extra a month, which I know doesn’t sound like a lot, but being as my rent just got upped by $100, that’s going to help considerably. This will make the difference between making it and drowning every month. Unfortunately, the only thing the raise is going to do for me this month is fill in a little of the hole I dug myself from overdrawing on my damn bank account yesterday… but it’s something.

However, I have a nasty feeling that there’s an ulterior motive for this… like with Walgreens coming up across the street in a few months, they’re sort of trying to bribe people into staying. Like, “Look, we can act human for all of five seconds, and in that five seconds we’ll give you a raise!” I don’t know, a raise isn’t a bad thing… it’s just… I have this gut feeling that there are strings attached to this sucker.
2) I just remembered that my friend Dave’s birthday was today. Whoops. Then again, considering that there hasn’t been so much as an e-mail between us in the last couple of years, calling him a friend might be a bit of a stretch. I guess… you never really get used to losing friends. We used to be close (though not as close as we probably could’ve been, thanks to me holding back and never completely trusting him with the stuff that really mattered, like I didn‘t tell him that my dad left until almost six months after the fact… though he held back with me too, the only thing I don’t know is whether he did that on his own or just because that’s what I was doing)… and we just… drifted apart. Somehow I allowed that to happen. No, actually, that’s not true. I’ll admit that my drifting apart from Lynn was half my fault for not stopping it when I had the chance, but I’m not taking credit for this one. I tried with Dave. I tried to keep in touch, sent e-mails and cards and whatnot, and I would get an e-mail that was two sentences long at most, and he NEVER took the initiative to write to me when it wasn’t in reply to something. He showed absolutely no interest in continuing a friendship with me, so eventually I just… stopped trying. Stopped putting myself out there, because really, what was the point? I just wish he could’ve had the balls to tell me that he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. I mean… okay, that would’ve really sucked and I would’ve probably hated him for it, but at least it would’ve been over. Done. No more of me wondering why he still talks to Stef but not me. No more of me wondering “Is he really that busy that he can’t spend five minutes and write a fair sized e-mail, or is he blowing me off?” You know? I just hate being strung along… and I hate this fucking feeling that I still have even now, this… loss. The feeling when you lose somebody (no matter the means- a fight, death, moving, etc.) like some part of you is missing because they took that piece with them. I guess maybe that’s the person you were when you were with them- the part of you that’s missing, I mean. They’re gone, so that part of your personality is gone too.

Okay, I’m rambling now and I probably make absolutely NO sense whatsoever, and I need to go do laundry and stuff. So I think I’ll shut up now.
verloren1983: (Teddy)
March 16, 2006------ Concert stuff and regression to a thirteen year old
Mom amused me by telling Kelly and I that she looked up Fall Out Boy. LMAO. As if she’d listen to them, ever. Her only comment was “God, they’re ugly!”... to which Kelly and I had to agree. Naturally. Because as much as I like the band... they really are.

Okay, so the concert was... TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME! I was so scared that it wouldn’t be, and that it would turn out to be sucky and make me feel like crap for doing this for Kelly’s birthday, but... I really didn’t have to worry about it. The opening band was called The Hush Sound... they were cool. Had a bit of a 50's style to them, and yet at the same time it was the complete opposite of the 50's style. I don’t know quite how to explain it, but they were good. Out of the five bands that played, there was only one that we didn’t like (I swear to God, it was screaming the entire time... From First to Last, I think the band was. They were scary.)... Hawthorne Heights was good (I was a little worried after the previous band, but it ended up okay). They admitted to us being the largest crowd they’d played to, which was cool- “This is the biggest show we’ve done, so thanks for paying attention to us.” All American Rejects surprised me in that they played “Swing, Swing”, which is one of my favorite songs by them, but I wasn’t expecting them to play it because it’s from, like, five years ago. But they did. Yay. Fall Out Boy themselves were absolutely fantastic, involving the whole theater in the performance- even those of us in the nosebleed section. Actually, they kept checking on our section, “Hey, how are you guys doing back there?” or “We used to go to shows like this all the time... it’s a little weird playing one, actually... and we always had the shittiest seats...” Their energy was just fucking incredible, and there was fire on the stage and everything. Awesome. Although the smoke made me start coughing, which was SO not cool. The singer even addressed the whole nude photo thing- “Who saw me naked on the internet last week?” *lots of screaming* “Yeah, I really need to be more careful of the kind of pictures I do and where they end up.” (lol... you think?) One thing I noticed, though... you think I swear a lot? That was nothing compared to this guy. Sheesh. It bothered me a little just because I know that there were some youngish kids there (I swear, these two kids in front of us were probably all of eleven or twelve. And their chaperones didn’t really look all that happy about the whole thing.), and the profuse swearing in front of kids just bothers me. *Shrugs* It just surprised me a bit that they would allow that. Kelly and I left just a couple of songs early, mostly because Kelly has a test in the morning and it was getting toward 11 pm, but partially because we knew Erin was waiting and we felt bad. And we wanted to find Kevin and Jess and get t-shirts before the mob came. We actually found them by chance... Kelly got a pink American Rejects shirt and I got a FOB one with the tour info in it (mostly, I just wanted the tour info stuff)... should’ve been $45, but I paid $20 (whee! It was like getting Kelly’s for free!), and Jess is going to bring the shirts with her to work tomorrow. Yay. She’s my new favorite person. *Squee* We finally found Erin and ended up going to Denny’s for a bite. All in all... it was a great night. Even the migraine from hell I’ve got right now isn’t really bothering me as much as it normally would, just because I’m still psyched.

So basically, I’m the cool sister now because I just gave her the best fucking birthday present EVER and she even admitted to it. Ha. The first concert for both of us was a smashing success. Yay! And now I have strict instructions from Erin to try to find out if/when Simple Plan is playing in Albany... I laughed at her. “Do you have ANY idea how much those tickets are going to cost?” “I don’t care.” Ooooookay, Erin. They’d be an absolute fucking fortune. Hell, Bon Jovi was almost $90 per ticket... I’m not sure if they’d price Simple Plan around that or not. Hrmph.

Music: Sugar. We’re Going Down by Fall Out Boy (of course)

You know that feeling, a few seconds before you orgasm, that your body suddenly goes from “Oh my god that feels so good” to “Oh my god I need to come RIGHT NOW” ? .... has anybody else ever gotten that... not during sex? As in, doing something completely mundane that isn’t even a slight turn on? It just happened to me a little bit ago. I was sitting playing Suikoden, and all of a sudden... bam. There it was. The thing is, it’s a feeling that’s distinctly different from horny. I’m familiar with horny. This was just... “I need to orgasm right fucking now or I’m going to die.” It’s horny on a kamikaze mission. Seriously intense, and it didn’t even have the decency to go away after the inevitable orgasm- I think I came three or four times before the feeling subsided, though I’m not completely sure about that because my memory of the last half hour or so is a little bit fuzzy. Go figure. The only thing I can think of right now is that I’m SO glad this didn’t happen while I was at work... that would’ve been... extremely NOT GOOD.

Current Music: “Wonderful” by Everclear (I’ve had Everclear stuck in my head all day)
verloren1983: (Teddy)
The bad news: I'm still sick. Oh, and my little friend decided to visit as of Monday. The good news: I'm not as sick as I was, it's mostly down to a sore throat and a little coughing now. And the cramps are gone.

Regression to age 15 beginning...
Fall Out Boy concert in a little more than twelve hours! *squee* Kelly and I will both have cameras of the film (hers) and digital (mine) variety, so if I get any decent ones I'll probably put them up at some point. The best part about this? It turns out that Kevin and Jess are working the Pepsi for this (they work the booths, you know, where they sell all the insanely priced stuff)- and Jess said that if we find them, they can give us 50% off on whatever we want. Yay! Looks like we're going to have to make a point of finding them...
Returning to appropriate age...

Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. Besides, the more I'm squeeing about that, the more chance there is of my brain finally realizing that I'm quickly running out of time and to kick into gear. I have laundry to do (because I have no clothes whatsoever). I need a shower (because I smell, and I know it). I need to pack my purse with essentials for tomorrow (today, technically... I need to do this shortly because I know I'm going to forget something major, and this way I'm leaving myself enough time to rectify that. Otherwise I'll be kicking myself in the ass for days). I need to charge batteries for my camera, and get all my photography shit together. I need to get money out for possible momento buying (I'm limiting myself to $100, which is entirely too much, but I don't plan on spending all of it... and even if I do, I don't think I'll care as long as I go home with something really cool). I need to GO THE HELL TO BED at some point. That, of course, being on the bottom of the priority list ;)

As a complete change of subject (and to further my blatant procrastination)... a semi-entry I wrote yesterday:
Strange, how watching a movie can spur time travel in your brain. I'm sitting here watching The Last Unicorn, one of my favorite movies as a kid (which still has the most gorgeous soundtrack, by the way) and suddenly I'm eight years old again, sitting on the floor of my room in front of an ancient black and white 13 inch tv. And it feels so damn real, like I'm ACTUALLY sitting there. Extremely weird.

Is it just me, or are Mommy Fortuna and the harpy bits just a little bit too scary for kids to be watching?

On a fun note, this is a bootlegged copy of the movie when fox aired it some weekend along with Pretty Piggies and Yogi's First Christmas (it was some marathon or something)... the commercials are just so entertaining. Just to give you an idea on the dating of this recording: The Pepsi Arena was still the Knickerbocker Arena. There are previews for "Parker Lewis Can't Lose", "ALF", "Perfect Strangers", "Star Trek: The Next Generation", and "The Gambler: The Adventure Continues". The Long John Silver commercial with the holiday stemware was running (I used to love that one), and of course, the "I'm Sorry" Bounty commercials. *LMAO* Kelly and I used to sing that one to each other when one of us got the other pissed, which was often.

Random Quotes from the Movie:
-"There are no happy endings because nothing ends."
-"Oh my god, I'm engaged to a Douglas Fir."
-"Do something!"
"What can I do, you think the Red Bull likes card tricks?"
-"I am a bearer, I am a dwelling, I am a messenger-"
"You are an idiot!"
Alright, I'm off to maybe do some of those things I need to do. *ugh* I'll hopefully be back Thursday/Friday with news of the concert and pictures, as I won't be able to get on the computer Wednesday. Later!

Best line of the day: "Focus on one thing? One artistic goal? As. in. concentrate. for. more. than. 20. sec- oh look, a shiny thing. *wanders off* (From Chershirecaticus on DeviantArt)


verloren1983: (Default)

December 2014

28 293031   

Amazon Wish Lists (I really need to clean some of these up)


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Monday, September 25th, 2017 03:06 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios