Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons...

...you know, I keep trying to post more, and I'll type something up, but then I don't post it and I wait so long that I have to rewrite half of it because it's no longer valid. Whoops. XD

( Blah blah blah )

So basically, things are generally going pretty well at the moment. I'll probably be singing another tune in a month when I'm trying to write four different research papers, but eh. XD

☁ Finished My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Yeah, yeah, I know. Guilty pleasures, alright?). The sad thing? It took me 25 episodes to realize that Rainbow and Applejack have the same VA. *facepalm* WTH, self.

☁ The weather's been absolutely freaking GORGEOUS the last couple of days. Which, apparently, is normal after a hurricane (but since they downgraded it to a tropical storm before it got here, does it count?), but it's just totally bizarre to me. O_o

☁ Theory of a Deadman played nearby today. *wail* WHY DO I ALWAYS FIND OUT ABOUT THIS STUFF AT THE LAST MINUTE OR AFTER IT'S OVER? Vertical Horizon was here a month or so ago and I didn't find out about that till way later. -_- Bah.

☁ Someone my mom works with gave her a whole crapload of hand-me-downs for me. I finally went through it all yesterday- some decent stuff. A bit over 1/3 of it is either something I wouldn't be caught dead in or doesn't work for me AT ALL. Lots of jeans. Most of them are too long, but that's not anything new. I'm certainly not going to complain about free clothes. \o/

☁ There's a shuttle bus from the mall to Irish Fest next month. That is... actually doable. Sooooooo I'm seriously thinking about going now. Especially since I have yet to decide what I want to DO on my vacation aside from going out for my birthday, which is kind of a given. I should've known, really. I'm incredibly indecisive. Given so many options, my brain shut down on the subject. Basically, it screamed "I don't KNOW!", curled up in a ball, and refused to make any kind of decision. Pffft. Helpful, that.

☁ Cool new links: Everyone is Gay (Seriously great. Watch their videos. They're love. I also might have a little bit of a crush on Dannielle. XD) and Stageit (You can watch live mini concerts that artists set up online. Obviously interest depends on who's playing and you still have to show up at a specific time, but no travel, no crowds, no annoying people screaming in your ears, no standing for hours on end. You can just sit in front of your computer in your PJ's. HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THAT? I totally bought a ticket for Bradley James of Five Times August on the 6th. :P).

☁ Randomly ended up going out with Mary last night. Drank way too much but had a great time. We got some pictures taken of us by some people at the bar that we didn't know- possibly going to regret that one later. Got a lapdance. And a kiss. :P It wasn't anything serious though, which is just fine. ^_^ Also apparently I'm "such a top"? Which is SO not me. *baffled* Oh well. People kept asking if Mary and I were a couple, which was a little strange. I realized kind of belatedly that with Mary definitely being more on the femme end of the spectrum and me being more on the andro/butch side of the spectrum, people WOULD potentially think that. Funny how people tend to go by stereotypes even in a gay club.

People have tried to get me to dance before (sober and drunk) and it just doesn't work. I'm too awkward, too uptight, and I feel too ridiculous. Well... apparently, there IS a level of intoxication where I can be talked into dancing. I'm a bit stunned. Unfortunately it's a very high level. As in a bit later when we were back at Mary's place and I'd sat down (and you always feel it a lot more when you've sat down for a bit), I went to get up to go to the bathroom and instead of actually standing up from the couch I sort of... *cough* fell off the couch. <_< It was fun, though. The dancing I mean. Getting up for work the next morning? Not so much fun. I never get really SUPER hung over though, I just don't feel that well and I'm tired the whole next day. And that happens if I've had so much as one drink.

☁ Okay, so I've finished season 1 of Doctor Who and watched the first two episodes of season 2. Reactions so far, vague and spoiler-free as possible:

1. Oooh. Badass Rose. Nice. Would've been nice to keep her a little longer, but eh.
2. I have to say, I love the flirting between 9 and Jack. Really, just lovely. And a canon kiss! Everybody kissed everybody, so while there wasn't a big threesome heap, I can live with what canon gave us.
3. I'm really trying very hard not to hate 10 and I'm failing. I'm hoping I warm up to him, because he sticks around for a while, so that would kind of suck. And it did take me a few episodes to get used to 9. I dunno. My brain is going "No. Just no. Give me 9 back."

But. We shall see as I progress with episodes. :D

Yep, still cleaning like a crazy person. I've barely been on the lappy at all. Hopefully by this time next week, we should be back to normal and I'll actually be able to catch up with everyone. I feel like I'm missing out. D:

( Basically, I'm so exhausted and stressed out it's not even funny. )

☁ In other news, Pride was fun. Well. Certain parts were fun. Saturday morning, the 5k, was not so much- it was torrential downpouring. Ugh. Needless to say, by the time I got there, I was totally soaked. Mary and I screwed up by accident and only ended up walking half of the 5k. We got confused. ^_^;;; Which ended up okay, because again, I was wet and unhappy and my left foot hurt like hell from where one of my toes kept rubbing up against the wet socks and shoes. Yeah. The day got better, though, as did the weekend. We missed the parade because Mary takes FOREVER getting ready, but the festival was fun. And we drank SO MUCH the whole weekend, I swear. It was fun, but guh. Won't be doing that a lot, let me tell you. For a lot of reasons. I do hope we start hanging out more, though, because it's kind of ridiculous that we haven't. Apparently it's our own hangups that caused that. She thought that I would think she was way too crazy, and I thought that she would think I was too boring. ^_^;;;

☁ The drinking, though, seriously... I'm glad I almost never do that. I gained FOUR POUNDS over the weekend, no lie. I just about cried on Monday when I saw that. It's coming back down though, not through any effort on my part. Cleaning burns calories. Also, stress does one of two things to me, food-wise. It either makes me eat everything or I don't want to eat anything. This time I seem to be more on the latter end- I just realized that all I've had to eat today is a lean pocket and a few pieces of bread. Whoops. I guess I just feel like I don't have time to eat on top of that, so that doesn't help. It's better when I work- then I'll eat a minimum of twice in the day. All the more reason to be glad for next week when this whole mess is over and everything goes back to normal.

☁ Also, someone from a school I went to for about three months friended me on Facebook. I think I vaguely remember her, but man. Weird.

That being said, my laundry is now done and I should probably make some attempt at sleeping. That hasn't been going terribly well either. I may or may not post again before the inspection. Either way, I'm sure I'll see you guys at some point next week.

☁ Found a DW theme I liked better than the one I had. Yaaaaaay. It's all blue and stripey and awesome.  ^_^ Speaking of DW, they just handed out some new invitation codes, so if anybody wants one, poke at me. I don't think I ever used all of the ones that they gave me originally, either, to be honest. They're probably still hanging around in my e-mail inbox somewhere.

☁ Finished Shuffle. It ended up being a lot more interesting than I thought it would be at first- better than the run of the mill harem anime, I think. Though it WAS still a harem anime and so there were a lot of unneccessary panty shots and awkward sexual type moments. It did manage to surprise me several times, though, and the girls were actually decently developed, personality wise. ^_^

☁ Stef got me reading Hana Kimi, too. It's interesting- reminds me of Ouran a bit. You definitely have to suspend quite a bit of common sense, but it's cute and fun. I'm on chapter 35 at the moment, so we'll see.

☁ I know I shouldn't be adding more to my currently watching list, but meh. D.Grayman seems to keep coming up a lot recently, and it's something I've been unable to find subbed up until now. But I found it~ I thought Allen's voice sounded familiar, but couldn't quite pin it, so I looked it up. Akira! *hearts* (I suspect that this will just make my brain want to cross D.Grayman with Hikago. *headdesk*)

☁ Ran into a snag with Glyde- there are no listings for GBA, GB, and PSOne games (and who knows what else that I haven't stumbled on yet), so you can't put those on the site. Boo. It's useful for what you CAN put on there, but still. Complete and utter fail.

☁ I found the Myers-Briggs results I'd been looking for when I talked about it before- I =knew= there were a set of other results that I was really impressed with. (For the record, it's here). The analytical thinker in this test makes me an INTP. Which made me laugh because the last one pegged me as an ISTJ. I did say that I get different results all the time. Only the Introverted and the Thinking are constant. ^_^;;; It's just incredibly amusing to me. Frustrating, but amusing. Apparently I'm hard to pin down. Or I secretly have multiple personalities. Yanno, either way. :P

☁ So Old Navy is apparently selling a few Pride shirts. Which is awesome, because they're a major chain and 10% of their profits are going to The Trevor Project. The designs are kind of meh, but whatever. It's the thought that counts, right? But there's a catch. You ready?

They're only carrying them in 26 stores. No, that's not a typo. Twenty-six. That's it. And they're not online, either. I appreciate the gesture, I really do. They're doing something that no other mainstream chain has ever done. That deserves some serious props. But I feel like it's exactly that- a gesture. How many shirts are they really going to sell in those 26 stores? If they're really trying to make a difference, if they're really trying to contribute something positive and get this stuff out into the mainstream where it NEEDS TO BE... this is not the way to do it. A+ for effort and pure balls, Old Navy, but F for execution. You still have time to rethink your strategy before Pride month gets swinging, GO.

(Yes, I know there's been a lot of gay related things lately. With Pride month coming up it's bound to be on my mind. Also the whole marriage thing is getting a lot of press locally, it's something that NY is really trying to pass soon. So, again, on my mind. Apologies if it's annoying anyone.)

(Before we start, I'd like to say that I'm sick and on cold medicine, so if there's anything that doesn't make sense, I apologize in advance. I'm trying to make a serious post here, but I'm not sure how well it's going to work out.)

Edit: Apologies. DW doesn't seem to want to cut this properly, either. *kicks it* I know this is long, and I would cut it if I could. I'm not trying to be obnoxious. Please don't kill me. XD


So I was talking to a coworker the other day about the hair thing- mainly, how my mother and younger sister react to it. It's something I've been thinking about since, and figured it might make an interesting discussion topic.

First, the explanation for myself. I keep my hair cut very short. It's not meant as a statement, though I'm aware that it DOES make one. That's not the intention. I cut my hair this way because I like it this way, plain and simple. I don't see why I should let stupid things like rigid views of femininity or what other people think decide anything about myself. In the same spirit, I often wear men's cologne as well... the ones I like, of course. I'm not about to do something like that just to be contrary. I enjoy that aspect of it, yes. But it's not a contributing factor in those kinds of decisions. I like my hair short. The fact that it pretty much screams DYKE in ten different languages is just a fun bonus. Maybe I would feel differently if I wasn't a lesbian, or if I wasn't bordering on genderqueer. Maybe I would care more about how society looks at me if I was a straight, cis female. But I'm not, so I can't say for sure on either count.

That being said, reactions to my short hair have been overwhelmingly positive ever since I first cut it. I've had many women tell me that they wish they had the guts to do it. Which baffles me, really. How is it particularly brave when it's just hair? I'm not doing anything permanent to myself. If I don't like it, it'll grow back. Seriously, IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. But I've never had any emotional attachment to my hair, either, and a lot of women do. Plus it goes back to not wanting to defy social norms, I guess. Regardless, I have it on good authority that it's a look that suits me. I get that it looks "cute" a lot, which honestly makes me cringe so hard on the inside. Perfect example: today I had an older woman tell me, "I wish I could cut my hair that short, but I would look like an old man. ...It looks cute on you, though!" *twitchtwitch* I try my hardest to ignore those comments and just take in that I can pull it off.

Yet every time I get it cut- especially this last time when it got REALLY short- my mother and younger sister declare that they hate it, that it doesn't look good on me, what have you. My mother even went so far as to say to me, "Why did you let them do that to your hair?" as if a weed whacker had been taken to it. Um, I told her to? Kelly, too, regularly asks me when I'm going back to long hair. I won't say never, because I honestly don't know, but it's not going to be at any point in the forseeable future, that's for sure.

So I got to thinking about WHY they're so threatened by this look. Seriously, I think that's what it is. What other explanation could there be for them clinging so tightly to the idea that short hair is terrible? I think there's some disconnect there between who they think I am and who I actually am. I have never been a girly-girl type. Ever. Yes, I had long hair for a long time- too long, really. But I was overly hung up on what everyone else would think if I cut it the way I wanted it. Plus it was ordinary. It let me hide and not bring attention to myself. It wasn't a reflection of my personality or who I was. It's closer to that now, I think. Regardless of what people might say, I think most of us think of women with short hair as less feminine, even if we don't necessarily see it as that. I have to wonder if it's maybe hardwired in our brains or something, because it's just kind of automatic. I know personally, I first wonder if they're gay (but that also may be just because as a gay person, I'm auto-looking for someone like myself). I also tend to think of short haired girls as lower maintenance and more down to earth than girls with long hair. I think maybe part of that too is my own personal experience- I have yet to see a woman with short hair that also had pounds of makeup on and dressed up and everything. So I tend to see them as... less like these high maintenance plasticky creatures and more like someone I could actually relate to. And me myself being sort of androgynous, I guess I see them that way too. If that makes any sense. Of course, I'm not saying that all girls with long hair are high maintenance or anything ridiculous like that. I'm just saying that it really does change the impression you give off, whether it's something you want or not.

The bottom line is, the hair clearly says "I'm gay. Have a problem with that? Too bad." And my family, clearly, has a problem with that. I think they can't deal. And since they can't pick at my sexuality because I'm not officially out to most of my family (gee, I wonder WHY), they pick at my hair instead. Which is pointless, because I just roll my eyes and do what I want anyway. They know this about me. So then why keep harping on about it if there's no ulterior motive? Don't misunderstand me, I don't think it's intentional, at least for the most part. It's probably largely a subconscious thing. However, that doesn't make it okay. They want me to be someone I'm not, someone I've never been. Growing my hair out again isn't going to suddenly make me straight anymore than cutting it made me queer in the first place. They need to deal with that. At the very least, they want me to hide myself better, because they're not comfortable with me being open and out there with it. They would rather at least try to pretend. The way it stands now... yes, I'm obvious. I'm done hiding. I'm never going to be exactly what the world thinks a woman is "supposed" to be. But you know what? Most women don't live up to that standard, including my mother and my sister. I guess I'm far enough away from it that it makes some people uncomfortable. That's fine, it's their problem, not mine. I'm not going to change how I look just because some people are dicks. It's really just an annoyance at this point... but it does make for an interesting social experiment. When I was downtown last week, I was in jeans and my cloud/rainbow scarf t-shirt, plus the super-short hair. At times, yes, it felt like people were staring and I got a bit self conscious about that. As I passed this one group of men, they started calling things out at me, though I'm not sure what they were because I had music blasting in my ears. I probably didn't want to know anyway. Yeah, at times it felt a bit as if I were on display. As I said, though, it's interesting to see how people react to you in those kinds of situations. So would I do it again? Probably.

So what I'm curious to find out from you guys is, what do you think of all this? What do you think when you see a younger woman with short hair? (I'm not counting older women, because from my experience, it's a lot more common for 50+ ladies to chop their hair off. It's much, much rarer for women under 50.) How do you see femininity, masculinity, society's views on both? How do you feel you fit into the gender spectrum (if at all)? Do you think you get treated differently because of how you present? I realize my flist consists of mostly cis-gendered straight-ish women, so responses to the last couple aren't likely to be varied. I figure it's still worth a shot. Could be fun.

☁ Is it just me or is LJ being really super slow today?

☁ I was remixed for Remix Madness. TWICE. They are also both better than the original fics, which is both thrilling and terrifying at the same time. So. We have Natural (The 'People Put Their Mouths There?!' Remix) and Dignity, or Lack Thereof (The Everybody Loses Remix). Both are awesome. I sadly didn't write anything for it because I've been trying to BG and failing as it is, so. Heh. ^_^;;;

☁ A word of advice: don't be an asshole to the person developing your pictures. There was this guy yesterday that insisted on using the hour machine even though he wanted his prints ZOMGRITENAO, as opposed to the instant machine that I was trying to steer him to- and then had a cow because I kept emphasizing HOUR MACHINE. "But you can do them in ten minutes!" Um, it depends on how many pictures you've got, size, and the orders that are in front of you (because obviously if I have 500 pictures that are printing for someone else, you're gonna be waiting a while. Doesn't matter if you 'only have one.' Nothing I can do about that.) And, yes, how much of a dick you are to me. If you're a gigantic asshole? You better believe I'm going to make you wait the whole hour even if you have one 4 inch print (takes about five minutes if there's nothing else in queue). DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.

He kept arguing with me about how long HE thought it should take. So guess who got to wait the whole god damned hour for his 20-something pictures? >D

(I'd like to point out here that it is well within my right to tell him the extra time. Part of my job is time management and making sure that things are done when I tell the customer that they'll be done. Expecting him to wait an hour for prints when he used the machine that is clearly labeled as a "one hour" machine is certainly not unreasonable- and in fact if I had reason, like the previous 500 print example, I could've pushed it back further. If he hadn't been an asshole, I probably would've told him 20 minutes. Getting pics printed and packaged takes extra time when it's just me, myself, and I manning the entire front store. ^_^;;; But then, since he WAS a dick, he probably would've had a cow about the 20 minutes, too.)

☁ Got invited to a walking/running 5k in June that's part of the local Pride thing. I haven't decided whether I'm going to go or not. On one hand, it would be cool, especially since I didn't end up doing the April 5k. On the other hand, I'd have to get up at 6:30am at the absolute latest to take the bus, and that STILL wouldn't get me to registration on time (it's the earliest bus, btw). I don't think I have to be there exactly at 8 though. Or I'd have to call a cab and spend god knows how much for a ride downtown. I don't know. I have a couple of weeks to decide, registration is due at the end of the month.

The parade and PrideFest are the following day... I've always wanted to go and have never been able to because I always find out about the dates too late to ask for it off... I don't know how comfortable I am going to all of that by myself though. It's not like I can beg Erin to go with me. :/ But I dunno, I still want to. It's kind of pathetic that I've never been. And at least that way I don't have to worry about losing anybody and I can take my time doing whatever I feel like. I think my biggest concern is getting lost- I have a TERRIBLE sense of direction. I could probably get lost in a paper bag. But... I could probably just print off a map and the bus schedules I would need. Worst case scenario, I have my cell phone and I call a cab to go home. Right? Could be fun. I'm actually kind of reminded of a LOLcat pic here. ^_^;;;

☁ Watching Shuffle, which a coworker keeps suggesting to me. I'm four episodes into it. It's... pretty much a typical harem type anime? The main guy is kind of a dick and I'm really trying to figure out why in hell he's got all these girls in love with him... but again, that's typical of that genre. It has its moments, though. I also watched a few episodes of the new My Little Pony show for reasons I have yet to figure out. It is, frighteningly enough, not completely terrible. O_o So we shall see.

Now. Off to make the lasagna I've been putting off for weeks because I'm lazy, WRITE, clean, at some point check whatever homework I've accumulated while I haven't been paying attention to it (ugh, this online thing is SO not working for me so far), watch some more stuff, and maybe go for a walk later if I'm feeling up to that. Since I really need to start doing that again. Oh, and I need to go to the store because apparently the second bag of broccoli I bought for previously mentioned lasagna has conveniently disappeared. And apparently the tomato sauce as well. *GROWL* Salady things probably wouldn't hurt either. Mmm. Leaves. :3

☁ blind_go  round 11 is up- go sign up! The theme this time is "Childhood", which is going to be really interesting. It sounds like fun. :3 Also the support thread is up too, even if you're not planning on signing up. Readers are totally awesome too. :D

☁ What makes people think they have the right to make nasty commentary about your attempts to lose weight/eat healthier? I was getting some cereal, and since I have a tendency to put WAY too much milk in cereal, I measure it first. It works for me. Kelly saw me doing this and sneered "You're measuring your milk now? Isn't that going too far?" .....seriously? We proceeded to get into a fight because apparently me telling her that it was none of her business was me being a bitch when she was "just kidding." Right. Because you totally use that disgusted tone of voice when you're joking around with someone.

☁ EEEEEEEEEEE GLEE! Favorite. Episode. EVER. Kelly and I were squeeing through half the episode. I thought my heart would explode from squee. I've watched specific parts a bazillion times now. I've also taken a few screencaps. ^_^;;; And... Rachel's last song ended up good, as much as I hate to admit it. :/ And even though I was afraid at first, Puck's was surprisingly sweet. <3 And the Blaine and Kurt duet! <333!

☁ Edit: Totally forgot to mention this, because I was pissed off at the time... Kelly's boyfriend asked her if she was sure she wasn't faking being straight, when she mentioned watching Glee (Which I don't get, by the way- I know of a guy that was harrassed for being gay because he watches it, but if you're a girl, you're gay if you watch it? What? How does that make any sense in homophobe-logic? It doesn't follow their rules. Does not compute.) Anyway, Kelly turned to me and was like, "How do you fake being straight?" In all seriousness. I almost laughed at her, thinking "I don't know, I've never been any good at it." I mean really, how do you even answer something like that? XD

What is it with all the posting lately? O_o

1. People who post to craigslist and don't e-mail you back suck. Just saying.

2. Have now seen the first six episodes of Fairy Tail and I already love it. <3 The good news is that RL has up through episode 68, so that'll keep me going a while. Plus it turns out that it's SIX eps of Hourou Musuko subbed already (!), so I have those to watch as well. I watched the first, and apparently they're starting in the middle somewhere, and it's kind of depressing. I can't help but think that it would be confusing for someone who hadn't read the manga already. The art/coloring is different, though, kind of... watercolory? I like it. ^_^ Also they use some Debussy for background music! <3 <3 <3 Also downloaded Pandora Hearts, since I've been meaning to watch that too and it's a shorter series.

3. That being said, I didn't do anything on my days off except for watch anime, play the Urbz, bake some more brownies for work tomorrow, and chat with Lish and Pye. Definitely a lazy couple of days. It was nice, but I probably should've done some actual work, heh.

4. Totally forgot to mention that I had another sort of "Do I have a rainbow on my forehead?" moment the other day. XD One of my coworkers, Mike, likes to point out girls he would like to fuck (subtly, mind, he doesn't announce it or anything), though he generally likes women younger and thinner than I do. I usually call him a pig and sometimes a pedo and it's all in good fun. ^_^ So anyway, he'd pointed a woman out. She was WAY too thin for my taste- seriously, she was in the "I want to take her home just to FEED her" category- but I'll admit she had a nice ass. Which, yes, I'll also admit that I might've... automatically looked at as she passed us, and this was after I'd given a thumbs down for too skinny. Once she was out of sight, Mike was like "I TOTALLY SAW THAT!" Um. Whoops? ^_^;;;;;;;;;; This is so why I'm not a ninja.

☁ Went looking for Ron/Hermione fic the other day, just something I was in the mood for... ugh. I was regretting that, let me tell you. Badly written, OOC... I'll have to try to remember to not go looking for that pairing again. >_< I'm not exactly surprised- I remember making an observation when I first started reading fanfic that all the good writers seemed to be H/D- but I'm certainly disappointed. Meh.

☁ Found this interaction with a then coworker I wrote up a little over a year ago and thought it was amusing. And I apparently never posted it. So here we go.
Justin: I saw that! You were totally checking her out!
Me: Buh?
Justin: I could see it on your face as I was talking. "Listening to Justin, listening to Justin, SO not listening to Justin."
Me: Oh, shut up.
...kind of goes with the thing of "Do I have a rainbow on my forehead?" Because I'm not actually OUT at work, though there's a couple of people that know, and I certainly never told Justin. :/ Not that I had anything to worry about there. He had his faults, certainly, but homophobia wasn't one of them. ^_^

☁ Thinking about putting up a post here... maybe after the spotlight goes away, though. They're already drowning in posts, I don't need to add to that. I just think it's a really awesome idea. :D

☁ Working on some original fic (and no, Ai, not "Trials of a Photo Girl" XD) The influence from The Lovely Bones is clearly showing. Whoops. I may or may not ever post it or even finish it, but we'll see. ^_^ Though this is making me love yWriter. It's my new best friend. <3

☁ Trying to watch Repo! The Genetic Opera. Trying being the key word. WTF IS THIS SHIT? Edit: Finished it, eventually. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but I'm not a fan. :/

On a completely random note, is it weird that my cat snores? Seriously, she actually snores, it's not purring in her sleep. I've just... never heard of a cat doing that before and I'm completely baffled.

And on to more randomness... quizzies and quotes and whatnot, just so I can get them the hell off my computer!

"Discrimination is a Virgo characteristic. So is subtlety of thinking. Black and white perceptions imply a simple universe, and to you the universe is rarely simple. It's more like a huge, boundless jigsaw puzzle, and it can drive you crazy if you're missing a piece or if there isn't a picture on the top of the box showing you how the puzzle should look when it's finished."


You're obviously a lesbian. Sheesh. Who do you
think you're kidding?


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