Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons...

1. Gah, I did NOT just volunteer to help mod hng_prompts  a little while ago. *headdesks* On one hand... dude, I don't know what's going on with the money situation at the moment... as in, I don't know if we'll have to drop the internet for a month or two. Plus I'm incredibly absentminded. I'll forget about this in a week, probably. XD On the other hand... it sounds like fun. ^_^

2. So I watched The Last Lecture video. Finally, really, because both my mom and Kelly have been bugging me about it for the longest time. I hadn't because my knee jerk reaction to the bugging was to dig my heels in and NOT do it, but Ai linked it, so I was like, what the hell. And wow. The thing that really strikes me about the lecture- and probably the only thing I'm going to remember clearly by tomorrow- is one thing that he kept repeating variations of. "The walls are there to keep the OTHER people out- the ones who don't want it badly enough." Which, of course, gets me thinking about the walls in my own life that I haven't figured out a way around... probably the biggest one being school. I think the expression "between a rock and a hard place" qualifies for the whole school thing for me. Money, of course is a primary issue, with other minor ones in play as well. But in the end it's just an excuse, isn't it, because I haven't really TRIED since I was a senior in high school and had the rug pulled out from under me. So... I guess the real question is... as much as I say I want to go to school, do I really want it badly enough to scale the brick wall? I think the biggest problem is that while I want it, I'm terrified of failing at it. Because if I fail, then what? (Not to mention, what the hell does one do with a BA in English? XDDD) Seriously, though, aside from money... fear is the biggest factor in why I haven't managed to get to school yet. I have... always had an enormous fear of failure for as far back as I can remember. Hell, it's a driving force in my life. Fear. And it shouldn't be that way. I shouldn't let it be that way. But i don't know how to stop doing it, either, so I just keep spiraling..........

One day, I will get over myself and go to school, because I owe it to myself. I deserve better than what I'm doing now. I just... need to get my head out of my ass, basically. XD

3. In other, less self reflective news, I got some cleaning done today. Woot. Didn't quite make it to the post office today, but I have every intention of going before work. ^_^;;; Also mom came home, and I was about ready to strangle her within ten minutes. You know, par for the course, really. I'm SO glad I have to work tomorrow. XDDD

4. It's... ah... really too late to do much of anything now (whoops), but for my own reference, my list of things to do tomorrow:
-GO TO THE POST OFFICE!!!! D:
-Finish spamming updating the writing journal
-Start putting fic on the website (Er, yes, I completely forgot about the site. Predictable, I know. XD)
-Laundry
-Cleaning~
-Write (anything)
-fifthmus
-Whatever else I feel like ^_^

Okay. So you all know I have basically NO impulse control, right? Combine that with actually having money in the bank... and... yeah. -_- It's not pretty.

So yesterday, I got...
-Resident Evil 4- PS2 (I've never played any of the RE games- we'll see how this goes. Worse comes to worse, I can always sell the damn thing back.)
-Harry Potter 5- PS2 (Okay, okay, I know those games are ridiculously easy, but they're fun. XD)
-God of War 2- PS2 (Don't ask me to explain this one, since I still haven't gotten anywhere even CLOSE to beating the first one. It's awesome but I suck hardcore at it. XD)
-CSI- XBOX (I saw this once and have been looking for it ever since. I love those kinds of games, generally, though it IS based off of a tv show, so we'll see how good it is.)
-Summon Night- GBA (The sad thing? I picked this up simply because I heard that it had some shoujo-ai content. XD Yeah. Pathetic. But... it does have a little, and it's zomgsocute so far, so I won't complain. ^_^)

The funny part? I don't have that many Mature rated games (tends not to happen too much with RPG's, and that's mostly what I play)... three of these are M rated.

But hey, at least I stopped myself from getting the PRETTY BLUE DS THAT THEY ACTUALLY HAD. XD Still, this kills me- I've been neglecting the console games I already have, aside from DS/GBA ones. Jeez. >_<

***

On the to do list for today:
-IHIKAGO ZOMG
-Laundry ^_^;;;;
-Try to write for blind_go
-Listen to the other fic of mine that was read for ihikago and comment on it
-A little cleaning
-Video games~

***

AIM and Trillian: Both so fired. >_< Both had some kind of error and froze, and now neither will start again. God damn it.

***

I find it incredibly amusing that Akichan told me that when she comes to visit me, eventually, one of the places she wants to go is the grocery store. Why? Because we have a shitload of candy, apparently. XD I never really thought about it before, but... I guess we do. XD Though, actually, I think there's a bigger selection at work than at the grocery store. Could be wrong though, I've never actually sat and compared the two. She'd probably end up coming to my work anyway at some point, so there you go. It just... amused me.

I have to get in the shower and I don't want to. Well... no, that's not quite accurate. I wouldn't mind getting in the shower if it was just a shower- as in, if I wasn't taking a shower so I could go to work. One must not be smelly for work. Meh. It's crappy out and I don't want to go. Crappy days make me tired. And right now it's just freezing rain, so there are still a bunch of people out and about. So I'll have to deal with people today. -_-

I was bored last night and randomly poking around the internet, and found some old videos I used to like. You guys may or may not have seen these already.

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me

End of the World

The F Word (Some misspelling, but entertaining otherwise)

Fat Rant Part 2

I realized today that I've been horribly, horribly bad about reading. Honestly. I have all these unread (!) books on my shelves... I need to work on that. Next year. XD Maybe this year... when I stop procrastinating so much.

To Do:
1. Shower, ZOMG
2. Finish Christmas shopping
3. Laundry. Like, tonight. >O
4. Do up the damn certificates for work. Yes, I know it won't be exactly the same because you don't have one of the fonts, but put your anal retentive-ness aside and just DO IT.
5. Decorate the tree with Kelly, just to shut everyone up
6. GO TO WORK

Yeah. Um... definitely need to find clothes that are at least sort of clean and get in the shower. <_< Later guys.