verloren1983: (Kitty Ahhhh!)
(Library!Ver is a go :D   for the December posting meme- [personal profile] hostilecrayon )

JFC, Lish, I hate you. XD I've tried very hard to wipe as much of that as I could out of my memory. I could probably point to my entire retail career for this question, really. As a retail person working on the floor, I was generally the lowest man on the totem pole, so to speak, so I basically got treated like shit all the time. And I worked that retail job for just shy of ten years. And I'm supposed to be able to pick and choose the worst out of that? Pffft.

If I'm going to cheat, I'd say that this video pretty much covers the overall experience. XD

Alright, well, I can try I guess. Among the worst ones were when people acted as if I was stupid and/or made uncomplimentary remarks about me personally. Like the woman who insisted her total was wrong and I was trying to double check by putting everything into the calculator- but she kept yelling random numbers at me, and then when I understandably screwed up what I was punching in because of the unrelated numbers she was spouting at me, she started telling me how stupid I was. Which of course didn't help matters. Or the guy that asked if I'd had gastric bypass. Also it was equally lovely when I was made to feel physically threatened, which did happen. I remember this one guy especially that kept hitting on me and wouldn't leave me alone. He was making me REALLY uncomfortable, but I didn't feel like I could tell him to fuck off (because the company never EVER supported its employees in anything, so I probably would've gotten blamed even though I was the one being harassed). I kept praying that nobody would need help on the floor so I could stay behind the counter and he wouldn't be able to touch me. That was the one time I was actually nervous going home after I got out, because I was afraid he would be waiting for me. :/ (he wasn't, thankfully) It was FABULOUS when you did what you were told to by a manager and then got in trouble for it later. Um... there was the lady that I'll call "Blinky" (fairly obvious, she blinked a lot) who would come in multiple times a day. She was an absolute TERROR- hated everyone, had complained about everyone working there at least once, always had to bitch about something. If we were all so terrible, I really have no idea why she kept coming in, but whatever. One night, I'd had a really bad day and she came in. I was trying to check something for her, but she wouldn't actually give me half a second to do it- she started bitching and just kept harping and harping and harping at me until I finally snapped at her. She complained about me later and I got in trouble, even though management knew that this lady was consistently a problem, and I'd never snapped at this woman in the many years I'd dealt with her. YEARS I'd put up with that crap. NOBODY IS THAT PATIENT, GOD.

And that's just the customers. Co-workers could be just as bad or worse, depending. There were several people that thought that they were too good to ring register, wouldn't give me any help at all and threw a hissy fit anytime I so much as needed a bathroom break. There was the guy that called me a faggot in front of pretty much everybody and no one said a single word. (I later ended up getting drunk with him at a party and he was much nicer to me after that. Go figure. XD) A lot of backstabbing and gossiping and childish behavior.

Retail, man. I think everyone should be required to work a retail job for at least a solid year, so they can understand just what retail entails and how much shit people put you through (and hopefully make people more understanding)... but I really wouldn't wish more than a year on anybody. While I did get a few things out of it and I met some awesome people, it really is a terrible job. Depending on your crew, of course. If you have an awesome crew, it's considerably less terrible. But still. XD I will point to the video again here. I can't even BEGIN to explain how much truth there is in that.

(Oh yeah, if you have a question/topic/whatever for me, the original post is here!)

A quick note

Saturday, January 4th, 2014 02:47 pm
verloren1983: (Sigh)
(By the way, I'm typing this on my phone and I can only see two lines at a time, so I apologize in advance for any errors. XD)

Okay, so I put this on tumblr already, so some of you already know this- I have no internet at home until further notice. As it's January, it's too damn cold to be walking to the library all the time, and my bus pass for school apparently doesn't work during winter break, so I have to pay for the bus to go somewhere with Wi-Fi. That won't be happening very much, for obvious reasons. I technically have my phone, but I can only ask it to do so much on a 3g network. So. The basic gist of this is that I will only be around sporadically for a while. The December meme is on hold until further notice, though I may poke at it whenever I do go somewhere for internet, but I won't promise anything. If anybody needs me, I'm still poking at tumblr, Facebook, and my email regularly through phone apps. Additionally, I'll sometimes be around on my alternate aim name, which I mainly use for mobile aim because reasons. The name for that one is letsgofive. If that name is on, I'm definitely around.

On the upside, this is a perfect excuse to work on some reading/writing/gaming/watching things I've been meaning to do? :P

(no subject)

Sunday, September 8th, 2013 12:19 pm
verloren1983: (Cookies)
☁ ID's are out and fics are due for BG in about 2 weeks. Um. It might be time to think about writing something? XD To be honest, I do have an idea I've been kicking around, but it's something that I'm thinking about writing it as a short story for Creative Writing, since I have my first story due at the same time as BG. So I'm not sure if that's really a good idea. But I might not do it anyway, because the story is supposed to be 3-5 pages DOUBLE SPACED and that's basically nothing, so I don't know that I have enough space to do what I want with it for the assignment anyway. Meh. :/

☁ I actually did another one of those reviews! I recently replayed 400 Days to fix a couple of the stupid things I did in the first playthrough, so I wrote about that a bit. It is here. The cool/exciting but scary thing is that I've done two of these reviews and I already have two followers on that blog. O_o Oh. And by the way, if you've even sort of been thinking about trying The Walking Dead, it's on sale on Steam till tomorrow. It's normally $25 for the first five episodes and then $5 for the 400 Days DLC- right now it's 6.24 for the main game and 2.49 for 400 Days. I'm not actually sure how the PC version compares to the xbox version, but either way it's a steal. Just sayin'.

☁ We haven't even had a meeting for Pride Alliance yet and the drama is already starting. Ungh. First of all, we don't have a room yet. So not only do we not have a place to GO, I can't make any flyers to get new people in until that happens. Ungh. Shouldn't that have been done, I dunno, before the start of the semester? Maybe that's just me. THEN there's the logo stuff. I don't know if I ever talked to you guys about that, but basically, last year this guy made a logo for us. Not only was the file really low quality (seriously, anytime we used it at any size that was readable, it was all pixellated and it drove me up the WALL)... the guy who made it was a complete tool and there was drama there. Oh yeah, and Marcus made jokes about it looking like we were a gay communist group, so you can imagine what the logo looked like. XD It's also important to note that the logo had a rainbow gradient to it, we'll come back to that in a bit.

So this year I want a new logo for the flyers. I was like, okay, I'll mock up a couple of things and I'll show you guys what I've got. Meanwhile, The Tool is going, "I still have the logo from last year." Uh, no. So I posted two potential logos- one is a heart with a rainbow gradient, and the other is a standard rainbow with clouds. Nothing groundbreaking here, I wanted it to be fairly simple and recognizeable. Apparently people last year didn't know what the hell the logo was supposed to be, so. Anyway. I saw The Tool at lunch the other day and he was saying that the logos I made weren't inclusive. He felt excluded by the use of the rainbow. I'm like... what? YOU DID THE SAME FUCKING THING. So okay, it's fine if YOU use a rainbow, but if I do it, it's exclusionary? WHAT? I think part of it is that he has a gigantic ego and I'm not feeding it, so he's pissed. God forbid we not use the logo that HE made. But he's also kind of insane (for example, he's one of those Otherkin jerkoffs), so it's totally possible that he actually BELIEVES that as a pansexual genderqueer person, if he uses a rainbow it includes everyone, but since I'm a gay semi-androgynous person, I'm only talking to gay people. Funny how that works. The rainbow is an easily recognizeable LGBTQ symbol, so that's the best to use- and we can't POSSIBLY use the colors/symbols for all of the individual groups because there's a million of them. It's a flyer, not a packet, JFC. If nothing else, though, I know that Marcus is on my side. Partially because we're friends and partially because he really does like my logos over The Tool's. :)

It's going to be a long fucking year, you guys.

☁ Also, I've started watching United States of Tara and LOVE it. I'm almost done with the first season and I just started it yesterday afternoon. (Of course, it helps that it's a half hour show and not hour long episodes, but still. XD)

Anyway. I have to see about fooding and then studying a bit for a Stats test I have tomorrow, and hopefully writing SOMETHING for a bit. Later~ ^_^

31 Days Meme, Day 22

Thursday, August 22nd, 2013 03:37 pm
verloren1983: (Cookies)
22. The best thing to happen this year
First place for a story I wrote at the last freaking minute. I still don't actually believe that one.

More random... )

31 Day Meme, Day 9

Friday, August 9th, 2013 11:28 pm
verloren1983: (Cute)
9. What are your worst habits?
Not putting things away, ungh. Causes so many other problems down the road. Linked to this is procrastination, which I am a master of, unfortunately. Sigh. Also linked to this is my inability to finish stuff. I get all bored/ADD and I wander off before finishing anything. I'm actually REALLY surprised at myself that I'm still doing this meme. Normally I would've quit WAY before now. XD


☁ Still no word on places. Ungh. I hate people.
☁ Since I've been letting my bed dry and I've been sitting in a corner by my bookcase all day, I figured it was as good a time as any to finally scan all the stuff on that. Recorded book collection is at 298 at the moment, not including what I've purchased for school in the last year and still have, a shelf in the closet I've been using for books, and whatever else I find buried in my room somewhere and haven't found yet. Yeah. It's getting a little scary.
☁ I've also gotten some cleaning done today, which is good, especially considering how much I've been slacking lately. It doesn't feel like I've done much, but the section I've been working on looks significantly better, so there's that? I think I'm thankfully at a point now where working on the room actually produces a VISIBLE result, which makes me feel good. :)

Aaaaand that's all I've got for right now. Until tomorrow~

31 Day Meme, Day 6

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013 09:28 pm
verloren1983: (Default)
6. Your 5 senses right now
Uh, the same five I always have? This is a dumb question.

As far as non-meme stuff, here we go:
☁ My certificate of residence for school has been acquired. I had to spend more time dealing with my mother than I would've liked in order to accomplish this, but whatever, it's done. Now I can pay my bill for school. The plan is to deal with that tomorrow.

☁ Saw an apartment Saturday. Good location, big room, roommates are not super neat freaks, gay friendly, super cute kitten (who spent most of the time pretending that I was a good climbing tree. Good thing I wore jeans. XD The guy was like, "wow, she really likes you already.") It's at the top of my "I can afford this" range, but I'm not sure I'm going to get much better because rent is freaking ridiculous here. He's still showing the apartment, so we'll see what happens. I'm not going to hold my breath. I'm going to text him tomorrow and see what's going on. In the meantime... I should probably make some more phone calls tomorrow too. Ungh. I want to do that about as much as I want a hole in my head. I fucking hate calling people, and of course most of these are like "phone calls only!" YOU GUYS SUCK.

☁ Need to go to old work and talk to Dave about saving boxes for me. Even if I wasn't planning on moving, I would probably still do this, because I'm at a point where I just feel like I'm moving things back and forth to and from the same places in my room, and getting stuff put away in boxes would at least let me put things away neatly in an orderly way instead of haphazardly thrown everywhere.

TL;DR- Family bullshit )

☁ Oh yeah, and did I mention that classes start again on the 26th and I'm both freaked the hell out about it and can't wait to go back? Need to get sleep back in order. It was better and then it wasn't, sooooo. <_< It's not nowhere near as bad as it was at one point, but still not terribly good.

☁ So basically, long story short, I'm super stressed/anxious about EVERYTHING and trying to keep up with my daily cleaning sessions and mostly failing, so. On the upside, it does look considerably better just from what I did today?

☁ I've also been working on a random fic bit I found in my bunny folder. I... don't even know how this happened. But yay writing?

(no subject)

Tuesday, July 16th, 2013 11:40 am
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
☁ Tonari- I can't decide what exactly is wrong with Haru, but he's clearly disturbed. I keep coming back to Bipolar and Conduct Disorder (the precursor to Antisocial Personality Disorder, but you have to be 18 to be diagnosed with that, probably because they want to make sure it's not just a rebellious phase before they label you with a basically untreatable disorder XD) Anyway, so I finished it. It's... okay? There were things that bugged me about it. I still think they would've been better off leaving it at two episodes and calling it good. I think the biggest thing for me, though, was that the characters felt lacking. I was missing something there, and I was actually way more interested in Natsume and Sasahara (background) than I ever was in Shizuku and Haru. And even then. Final MAL score: 6.

☁ I've started Tsuritama now. I've seen one episode, and my only reaction currently is basically: O_o Also watched the first ep of Silver Spoon that came out. It's interesting, I guess? Main character is kind of an idiot. I mean. Who doesn't know that chickens poop eggs? Seriously? What's he even doing there, and why doesn't he want to go home? I'm curious about these things. So yeah, it has my attention for the time being.

☁ I didn't really do anything productive Friday-Saturday-Sunday. Friday I went out for the day with my sister. It was hot and humid and gross. I mean, it was okay at first, but after a while I thought I was going to have a heat stroke. Like seriously, I looked like a tomato at one point and I wasn't sunburnt. But yeah. Otherwise, it was cool. We went to the museum and looked at their newest exhibit on the Civil War (and more accurately, New York's role in it), which was pretty damn cool. Had Thai food for lunch (omnomnom). Kelly got incense. We walked around A LOT. So I spent Saturday and Sunday recovering, basically, because I way overdid it (and might've actually had heat exhaustion, that would explain a lot. XD) Monday I did, at least, get those three garbage bags out of my room finally, and I did a cleaning session which produced another. Yesterday, I didn't get anything done again, but that was totally Kelly's fault because she was all, LET'S GO TO DENNY'S, SMOTHERED FRIES SMOTHERED FRIES SMOTHERED FRIES. Soooooo we went to Denny's, and walked around Target and the mall for a while. XD Needless to say, I'm done with Outside for a while except for when absolutely necessary.

☁ I might've gotten a little testy on Tumblr the other day after seeing a post that infuriated me, and went into a two part rant that was basically about how an atheist is not obligated to feel grateful for being given religious platitudes after a death/tragedy, and that doesn't make them an emotionless monster. Um. Yeah. <_< I've apparently been feeling ranty lately. I never did post that thing about TM I showed you guys last time, though, so at least there's that? XD

☁ Aaaand finally, before I forget to mention it- blind_go is back for a mini round! :D Here is info and the support thread. Write something if you can! I need to go bunny hunting...

verloren1983: (Kitty Ahhhh!)
Okay seriously, what the HELL is going on lately?

-Apparently it's totally cool to stalk and kill an unarmed child as long as his skin is a darker color than yours. If you live in Florida, the law will support you if you're scared of brown people and start shooting them. Just make up a flimsy story that the evil dark child attacked you first, you'll be fine. Even if you keep changing it. (Link)
-And yet, also in Florida, last year a black woman got 20 years prison time for firing warning shots- didn't hurt anyone- against her abusive husband. (Link) So I guess you're only allowed to defend yourself if you're not black (I would say "if you're white", but Zimmerman is Latino XD). And just think, the Supreme Court just recently chopped off the Voting Rights Act at the knees because racism is totally not an issue anymore. *snort*
-Texas state senate passed their anti-abortion bill (which okay, that's not a surprise, but still.) (Link)
-And finally, to top it off this morning, I wake up and discover that they found Cory Monteith (Finn on Glee) dead in his hotel room. He was only 31 years old. (Link)

I repeat. WHAT THE HELL.

(And no, I'm not going to continue to post about this. It's more for posterity than anything. That being said... god, I know making a post on facebook about it wasn't the most mature thing to do ever, but I just got a long comment basically saying that Zimmerman was the victim and he's been a scapegoat for the "false appearance of nobly fighting against racism." Really? REALLY? She also says that she trusts the decision that was made. I'm trying to not respond angrily, so what I'm working on is this. "Alright, I was upset when I made the post (clearly the most mature thing to do) and I normally wouldn't have said anything. In any event, I'm glad you have more trust in the system than I do. After seeing so many messed up decisions over the years that were clearly aimed at protecting perpetrators instead of victims- decisions that were based not in justice but in racism or sexism or homophobia or some other prejudiced agenda- I don't have that trust. However, the bottom line through all of this is that it's done. I just hope his family can find some kind of peace now that it's over.")
verloren1983: (Sigh)
- Final call: Holiday card post here (DW) and here (LJ). I am sending these out this afternoon at some point, so they will go out TOMORROW. (Hopefully they'll get where they need to be in time- apologies if they don't. Meant to do it yesterday and didn't manage to leave the house.)

Long, you guys know the drill. )

Mostly random

Monday, December 10th, 2012 07:08 am
verloren1983: (Sigh)
- And clearly I didn't have to worry about that one day, because I then proceeded to mess up NaBloPoMo rather spectacularly. Whoops. XD

- Reminder: Holiday card post here (DW) and here (LJ).

Cut for pictures and stuff )
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
Okay, first things first- I did post something yesterday. It wasn't for NaBloPoMo like I've been doing, I forgot to do that, but I did post something privately, and that's what counts to me. I'm not doing it for a prize or anything, just for me, so basically you're just going to have to trust me. ^_~ Actually, for the curious, it was fic. I've been doing that lately- when I'm too lazy to go get my flash drive, I'll put stuff on livejournal so I can access it from a different computer later, edit it as I please, come back home and have the latest version right there for me. It's usually fic, but sometimes school stuff- I have notes on William Faulkner for short story, for example. Which I need to stop doing, really, because my LJ is getting ridiculous with all this extra stuff. Anyway. So what's up there for yesterday is actually the fic I ended up finishing off and posting today. Yes, I finished fic! Amazing, right? It's not the best thing I've ever written, that's for damn sure, but it's something. It even works for [community profile] cottoncandy_bingo , which I've been neglecting and just realized that it's due at the end of December. Whoops. ^_^;;;

Not a whole lot happened today, just art history, short story, and pride alliance. Only one person showed up to pride alliance that wasn't in the executive committee. Which makes me nervous because we have the information table for Transgender Day of Remembrance next week. Sigh. Oh, and Treasurer and Co-Chair fought for half of it. They butt heads, because they're both attention whores that can't shut up. It was a long meeting. -_- At least Secretary wasn't there. He's a nice enough kid, don't get me wrong- he has Asperger's, and I think he has a mild mental retardation on top of that. So he just talks A LOT, and very loudly, and takes ages making any sort of point (if there even is one), and I just... does it make me a terrible person to admit that I don't have the patience for that? I think it does. XD I could never be a special ed teacher. I have all the respect in the world for that, but I just can't deal. Ungh. Oh, and have I mentioned that we keep getting kicked out of our club room by another club? The other advisor is SUPER RUDE and is always like, "We've been in this room for 20 years! blahblahblah." Yeah, well, they didn't reserve the room, so it's ours this year. Go away. Only problem is that OUR advisor is never there when this goes down, so we always end up folding, because what else are we supposed to do when this woman is being a complete bitch to us? It's going to be a looooooooong year, you guys.

I'm so tired. Definitely have to go to bed earlier than I did last night- I did laundry yesterday and my clothes just didn't want to dry, so I ended up going to bed around 1am. Waaaaaay too late for me. I'm a zombie. x_x
verloren1983: (Kitty Ahhhh!)
☁ I've wandered back to playing Ghost Trick the last few days, which is... interesting. I still love the art style, very different. I can't wait to find out more. The further I get into the game, the more I suspect that Sissel is not a good guy. Right now I'm trying to distract the crazy writer lady so her daughter can call her father. I'm not sure how far that is exactly, but meh.

☁ Looking at possibly getting a dictionary and a thesaurus for school- no, I don't have them currently- but I've always just used internet for that, so I'm not convinced I even need to spend the money. Thoughts?

☁ Had Thai food today. :3 Verdict? It's... very different from anything I've ever eaten ever. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just weird. XD I had a pineapple curry which was REALLY GOOD, but the combination of super sweet and spicy sort of broke my brain. XD As good as it was, I'm not sure I would get that particular thing again. I would try other things though, absolutely. :D

☁ I just got a letter in the mail from a collection agency saying I owe almost $700 to a local electric company... which I have never dealt with. I would blow it off, except for one thing- when Erin was setting herself up in an apartment of hers years ago, I let her use my name for the electric company- with the explicit promise that she wouldn't fuck me over. Yeah, well... looks like she might've anyway. I messaged her about it, so we'll see what happens. Either way, I'm not paying it. It's not my responsibility, and I certainly don't have $700 to blow on fixing something that I didn't even do. SHE will be paying for it. God, I feel sick. Sooo basically right now I'm waiting for a response from her. I just. AKJDLASJKDL. I'm SO FREAKING OUT, you guys. THIS SHIT IS ON MY CREDIT REPORT. I'm going to throw up. Or cry. Possibly both. I mean, here's the thing. If it was my debt and I knew it, I would obviously  take ownership of that because it was CLEARLY my fault and I would take the hit to my savings account. Obviously. The thought that I have been screwed over so badly and this is on my GOD DAMN CREDIT REPORT when I was doing my sister a FAVOR is just. Too much. Especially since when I get my apartment for the fall, I won't be able to get electricity to my place until this is taken care of. BECAUSE I TOTALLY NEEDED THIS SHIT. *sobs in a corner* (And before anybody says anything, it is NOT beyond the statute of limitations on collecting debts in my state. I checked.) I'm trying to decide whether it's worth the hassle to try to get them to delete the record from my credit report once it's paid- it's going to disappear from the report in September 2015. A little over three years. Might be worth a shot though? I mean, the worst thing that's going to happen is they say no. On the other hand, it would be a lot easier if Erin just paid it online, which I don't think she can do if I do that? But then since the debt is under my name, they might not let her do that anyway? I don't know. I'm not really sure how this works, to be totally honest. Whenever I've owed anybody money I just shipped off a check. XD

...god, I so need to do laundry and I can't concentrate on anything right now.  Fuuuuuuuuck. >_<
verloren1983: (Aww Crap)
I really should write up a real update, but first, I want to talk about something else- my day from Tuesday. I had my placement test for school, and the day was... well, to put it kindly, a series of unfortunate events. There were a couple of points where it didn't suck, but those were few and far in between, and overall, it was just a truly terrible day. It's actually almost comical how things just kept happening. XD In list form:

Ver and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day )


Meanwhile, yesterday? Aside from the fact that I was still running short on sleep (I did get about 5-5 1/2 hours though, so even that was an improvement), it couldn't have been any more different. THANK GOD. I approached the day simply hoping I wouldn't get lost, raped, or killed, so I'll grant you that the bar was set pretty damn low, but still. XD Also in list form!

Ver and the Not Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day )

Okay, I really have to go. Work and all. Hopefully I'll get my shit together enough to post about something that isn't school in the next few days. :D

(no subject)

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012 02:53 am
verloren1983: (Cookies)
Has anyone else been having issues with Google? I can't search, I can't watch Youtube videos, Gmail won't load, none of it. But the rest of the internet seems to be fine, and I can't find anything about it being down? ARGH. This has been going on for a few days now and I'm getting really frustrated with it. I even tried switching browsers and it was still a no-go- FF had been timing out, but IE flat out told me that Google didn't exist. O_o. So: I'm generally really bad at checking my gmail, but I do know that I have at least one conversation there that I need to deal with, but I can't get into it at all to make a response. I'm really sorry. XD My hotmail username is the same as my gmail? ^_^;;;

FAFSA- done. I was going to do it last week, but procrastinated Tuesday and felt too crappy Wednesday to deal with it. Whoops. Was not as bad as I had been imagining- I could even import my tax returns right into it, which was a neat little trick. The two school applications are also submitted. Am currently trying to figure out if I can get my high school to send my transcript without having to call them. XD Edit: Sweet, I can zip them an e-mail. They ask for a name and address of the person they're sending them to, though, so does that mean I should have them send the transcripts to me and then mail them back out? That seems stupid. I'm confused.

Just sayin'. We have been flirting with Death Note since last night for the number 11 animanga spot on AO3, and next is YiGiOh. Weee~ (Though I think DN might've cottoned on to what we're doing, looks like they're fighting us a little. GO GO HIKAGO!) Qem asked me to make a banner and very helpfully proved the YuGiOh pic. Didn't turn out half bad. Lish asked me to make an icon for her the other day, too. She does that on occasion and the request this time was super simple, just a crop and cleanup, but it's just kind of weird to get graphics requests all of a sudden. XD

It's supposed to be GORGEOUS tomorrow- 55 and mostly sunny! Perfect day to walk to the library. :D I've been feeling kind of shut-in, so that will probably be helpful. Maybe I can even get through the rest of the first season of Doctor Who finally, since I seem to have a block about watching it at home for some reason. XD

I am now about an episode and a half through Sherlock. It's an interesting take- Sherlock actually admits to being a sociopath (in the most condescending way possible, which is pretty damn amusing), so that's definitely a different spin on the character than I've seen previously. I'm still not understanding how everyone thinks that Benedict Cumberbatch is so hot- he's rather unfortunate looking, to put it nicely. I really don't get it. I can't even blame it on the lesbian thing, really- I can recognize and appreciate when a man is good looking. It doesn't make me want to have sex with him, but I see it. This guy? Nope. Not seeing it. Fandom baffles me sometimes.

After talking with Ai, I finally decided I need to get my butt back in gear and at the very least keeping track of my food intake again. I've been maintaining (within a few pound range, of course) for long enough. On the upside- apparently I've been averaging around 1700 calories a day  without even TRYING- that's maintenance for where I was when I checked. So not NEARLY as bad as the 2500-3000 I was imagining, eh? :D Sooooooo I've been working on food  again and am really happy with the results. 5.4 pounds since the 20th, and 2.8 pounds just in the last week. I'm not trying to brag or anything, just... happy to get the ball rolling again. ^_^;;;

Long windedness about Rush Limbaugh, Birth Control, and Republicans in General )

(no subject)

Friday, December 9th, 2011 02:35 pm
verloren1983: (*Blush*)
I've been pretty MIA lately- sorry about that. With my sister visiting and family stuff and being sick and all of this crap, it's been kind of difficult to really sit down and get anything done. My already limited attention span has been pretty much zero lately. (I haven't even bothered attempting to read that last Eragon book, if that tells you anything. XD) I'm still sick, but it seems to be getting better, so. Things should be winding down back to normal. Hopefully. As normal as December gets, anyway.

WANT. ;_; Money is a major concern, but hopefully they'll come up with a payment plan that I can live with. WHO IS GOING WITH ME, DAMMIT?

Anyone have any experience with Zoya nail polish? I've been staring at the website for several days now and I can't decide whether it would be worth trying or not. They're expensive. :/ On the other hand, I did just spend $6 on a super glittery blue polish that I'm totally in love with (and actually kept on for about two days, which is a miracle), so really... it's not THAT much more, in the big scheme of things.

I can has an AO3 account! I will probably not keep up with it, because I have a hard time posting crap to my freaking main writing journal much less anything else, BUT... it's another backup and maybe I will? ^_^;;; That and it will give my stuff some more exposure, since I'm uncomfortable pimping myself out in the comms when I post something. So... you know. I only have a few things up there so far though. I'm trying to not piss people off by flooding everything at once. XD

☁ Ended up making peanut butter frosting (don't ask)... ASDJKALDJSLA that shit is DELICIOUS. Now, I wouldn't use the frosting all the time, for the simple fact that I still hate making frosting. BUT. It is definitely easier than regular frosting, at least. No food coloring is needed, so that headache and mess is eliminated. Two- It came out perfectly mixed and fluffy with just a spoon and some stubbornness on my part. Read: no mixer required. Which is awesome, because while I'll use a mixer when I have to, I'd rather not. It tends to be messy. It probably could've been fluffier with the mixer, but I didn't really see the need. The only problem? Now I have all this freaking frosting in the fridge. UGH.

Speaking of food, I purchased three new things to try: sweet potato fries, pesto sauce, and garlic hummus. So far, I've tried the pesto and the fries. The pesto is good- I wouldn't want a ton of it in a dish or anything, but it's yummy. The fries though? Weeeeeeeeird. :/ I haven't decided whether I like them or not. I ended up putting a crapton of salt and Old Bay on them and it was an improvement, but I don't know. The sweetness bothers me more than I thought it would.

Rant brought to you by South Africa and condoms with teeth. Needless to say with South Africa lately, this could be triggery for rape. )

☁ I should probably do my school applications soon. *sob* SCARY!
........... Dear Self: You are being utterly ridiculous. You are applying to community colleges, not Yale. You'll be fine. No love, Ver.

(no subject)

Saturday, November 26th, 2011 03:50 pm
verloren1983: (Aww Crap)
I have a few minutes to kill, so I might as well post this entry that's been sitting in notepad for three days, right? XD

I really need to post more often so this doesn't happen... )

(no subject)

Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 03:17 am
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ Lane Bryant had a sale plus a decent coupon, so... bras. Much needed bras. And COLORS. YAY. Green and purple, even. :D And pretty much 50% off before tax and shipping. Seriously, I can deal with $20 bras. :D :D :D :D

☁ Started watching No. 6 thanks to a bad rec. Seriously, probably the best way to get me to watch something (particularly if it's a short movie or short series or whatever) is to tell me how terrible it is. Then I'll be like, "No, it really can't be that bad, can it?" and so I'll be all eager to find out. Go figure how that works. I'm about halfway through and it's not all bad, though I wish they'd do some more world building, and they skip around a bunch and that's confusing. Mostly I'm reserving judgement. Also the opening song is TERRIBLE. I think it's the voice, it just irritates the living crap out of me. Interestingly, I like the ending song. Pretty. ^_^

☁ Does anybody else use the video player Mpcstar? I generally have zero problems with it, but lately I'm finding that if I leave it paused overnight- which I do often, when I'm just too tired and can't focus on finishing whatever I'm watching anymore- it crashes. Well, I assume it crashes, because when I wake up, there's nothing there. Which has never been a problem before. Just curious if this is just me or if it's a thing with the newest update or something. Just. Wow. There are no words for how fucked up and wrong this is. PETA, have you ever even PLAYED a Mario game? The Tanooki suit is exactly that- a freaking COSTUME, not a real animal skin. Not only that but Mario gets it from a TREASURE/ ? BOX, not skinning animals. YOU GUYS are the ones depicting violence and animal cruelty. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Disgusting.

☁ Inheritance came in the mail today. It's... freaking HUGE. 849 pages, obviously not including the non-story stuff. Also apparently there is an overview of the first three before the story actually starts. Which is good because I never ended up doing the re-read I meant to and it's been a few years, so ah. I have no idea what's going on at this point in the story. I haven't started it, but I will probably tomorrow! *excited*

Ver goes off on a rant! )

(no subject)

Monday, October 31st, 2011 12:30 am
verloren1983: (Default)
Okay, so probably most people on my flist will have seen this already, but I'm sharing it anyway, because it needs to be shared. And read. And shared more. Obviously, the article may be triggering to people, so be warned.

Rape Culture - There's Nothing Funny About Rape

If you aren't triggered by such material, go read it. NOW.

verloren1983: (Sigh)
☁ October 20th is Spirit Day- wear purple! I have to work (of course *eyeroll*), so I'll just be sporting nail polish and possibly earrings if I can find them. STILL COUNTS.

☁ Persona 4: The BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. The first thing that annoys me is that they have a building traits system that reminds me a lot of those harem games where you build particular stats to fuck a particular girl at the end. They even have the same kind of "day passing" system where you have to pick and choose what skills/relationships you want to enhance, at the cost of everything else. I don't like it in those kinds of games and I really don't like it here. The second thing that annoys me is that I was trying the game for Naoto, who I'd seen enough of in two different RP's to be interested in her character. Naoto, apparently, doesn't show up for quite a while, which is extremely disappointing. But I could've lived with all of that if it weren't for what happened to me last night. Seriously, I got a bit over 7 hours in and then discovered that I was totally fucked and would have to start over. Really, game? I would've totally RAGEQUIT (and believe me, I was FURIOUS) if it wasn't the principle of the thing. I went through again and saved Yukiko's sorry ass, so now I will happily send back the game and be glad to get rid of it. (Also I think I'm going to need a new PS2 controller soonish. The one I have keeps alternating between not working at all and going fucking berserk. You might guess that this didn't exactly help with my frustration levels, to put it mildly. XDDD)

Verdict? I'll watch the anime instead, thankyouverymuch. I enjoy the characters- Yosuke is my favorite so far (though the weird thing? His persona totally reminds me of this guy from Monsters Inc. Don't ask. I think it's the eyes? <_< ), and Kou and Daisuke are so hilariously gay for each other it's extremely entertaining. As are Chie and Yukiko. It's the gameplay that's driving me insane. I may regain interest once the anime is done, though. Who knows.

☁ I love being able to renew library books online. <3 Especially when I kind of forgot about them and got an email today going, "Uh, yeah, you know your books are due in two days, right?" XD Whoops. I could finish them in two days, no problem, the thing would be actually dragging my ass to the library before work. So... note to self. Finish those books this week so you can bring them back on Tuesday.

☁ Talked to Mr. Bossman about Thanksgiving week- I pretty much had to sell my soul just to get the weekend after Thanksgiving off, even though I'm allowed that vacation time. He also acted like I didn't even say anything about Thanksgiving, conveniently forgetting the fact that I work every god damn holiday for him. Oh, yeah, and he was trying to make me feel guilty for it the whole time. Sometimes Kerry is cool, but other times he can be a real asshole. Still have no idea what I'm going to do about the other three or so days of vacation time I'll have left. Damn. If I knew he was going to pull that shit, I would've taken it earlier. Maybe I should just not take it and let them pay me for the leftovers after New Years? Well, at any rate, I have the weekend after Thanksgiving off. At the cost of forfeiting random days off with probably no warning. Yaaaay.

☁ The Good: Worked on my room. Still needs some work, but it's loads better. I really have no idea how it gets looking like that. O_o
The Bad: I realized today that I have no idea where my phone is. Aaaand of course I can't call it because the stupid thing would be dead by now. (And yes, I tried anyway.) >_< I'm REALLY SUPER HOPING it's at work. Because if not... uh... I don't know. I guess we'll see.

(no subject)

Tuesday, September 27th, 2011 10:03 pm
verloren1983: (Sigh)
☁ I've gone through the BG pieces. (Yay for Opera Mini at work? ^_^;;; ). As far as guessing, I have a chart, and have marked off 4 people with varying levels of certainty. There's one I'm half expecting to change before I submit my guesses. And no Ai, I haven't found you yet- though I'm going to think about it some more. I still have a little time before I have to put in guesses.

☁ The mosquitoes have been out with a vengeance. They're normally not around this late, but it's been unseasonably warm for late September, plus there's been all this water between Irene and the massive amount of rain we had this summer... yeah. The fucking things are EVERYWHERE. One bit me on the forehead today. ;~; She got me good, too. It bit me, and a little later Stef was like, "uh, your forehead is REALLY red." I went to go look- there's a huge swollen bump on my freaking head, not even kidding. UGH. I hate being a bug magnet. STOP LOVING MY BLOOD, DAMN YOU!

☁ Apparently both Lane Bryant and Capital One have decided to increase my credit limit. LB is now $200 ($100 before, though $200 will be more convenient on the rare occasions that I do use it, because LB is expensive) and CO is $500 when it was $200 before, even though I think the most I've ever had on a bill was around $100. I know they're trying to trick me into spending more money (which is not going to work), but kind of nice anyway. It's good to know that it's there if something happens and I need it. ^_^

☁ I saw a guy from high school the other day... which happens every once in a while, it's an unfortunate side effect of working where I do. I never got along with this particular guy, and he's apparently just as much of a dick as ever. He acted like I was some kind of traitor because I don't live in my hometown anymore. Like seriously? Anybody who ever knew me even a little bit would've known I was never going to stay there. I'm from Smalltown, USA- very quiet, closed off community. It was like being in a little cocoon protected from the world outside. (Additionally, my parents kept us in an additional "bubble", which Stef and I joke about now. That's neither here nor there, but it does explain a lot about my personality, I think. Sheltered x2.) Even now, sometimes I'll get blindsided by something that is apparently normal everywhere else, but is totally alien to me. My hometown is too restrictive, too far away from everything. It was a nice place to grow up as a young kid, and I visit for a couple of days now and then, but it's not someplace I want to live again. When I hit my teens it really started to be more suffocating than protective, and it hasn't changed that much. (Though the one small general store does actually make really good subs. I make a point to get one when I visit. :3) But seriously, judging me because I'm not up there anymore? As if it actually matters to me what he thinks of me? Pfffffffffft. He doesn't even know me. It just irritates me that he was being such a asshole, it was totally uncalled for, you know?

☁ Also, I'm watching Doctor Who, and there's this woman in this episode, her name is apparently Sophia Myles... I'm not normally into blondes that much, but HOLY FUCK:

(The picture is not from Doctor Who, but whatever.) Just. Wow. I could look at her all day. And I mean that in a totally not creepy, non-stalkerish way. <_<
verloren1983: (Kitty Ahhhh!)
☁ Update: Everything's fine, never even lost power, though the lights at work blinked ominously all night. Could've been a whole lot worse. Looks like the power lines might not hold. LOTS of flooding- seriously, there are RIDICULOUS pictures on facebook right now. Where I am seems relatively alright (I'm right between major flooded areas, I think), considering, though we'll be able to see the damage better tomorrow. Also I do know someone who lost everything, which totally blows, though at least she, her partner, and their animals are fine. That's the important thing.

☁ Also, the general stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me. They didn't want ANYBODY going out unless it was an emergency, because of mass flooding, yeah? (Of course, "work" is an emergency, according to the company. Pffft.) ALL DAY I rang out people for candy. No lie. Candy, toys, random stupid shit. I'm like... REALLY? If I didn't have to be out, I would've been at home with a book. If it was a prescription that you ZOMG HAD TO HAVE TODAY, then yeah, I can see that, but otherwise? Lack of Snickers doesn't really constitute as an emergency.  What the fuck. GO HOME. And then they would complain about how all these roads were closed. *headdesk* Gee, maybe that's a hint that you should GO THE FUCK HOME? We're kinda in a hurricane right now. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

☁ I got called old today. ;~; A (note: middle aged, aka old enough to know better) guy said to me, "You've been here a long time. You're a *insert my company name* senior." *wail* I'm 27 years old, you bastard! Though Henry, the other guy that was working tonight, at least waited until the guy left before he started laughing. I think we both went *JAW DROP* at the time when the guy said it. XDDD He's lucky I was in too much shock to say anything in the moment, because I might've hit him or started crying or something equally dramatic. It's like, dude, I know that's not what you MEANT, but that's what it SOUNDED like. Think about what you're saying before you call a 20-something a senior citizen, alright? >_< It's bad enough that society tells you that once a woman hits 30, her life is OVER (that goes double if you're gay). No need to add to that. Kthnxbye.

☁ My mother still doesn't understand the concept that if we are both friends with a person on Facebook, I see said person's feeds just like she does. Like she will read to me all this shit my aunt puts up, word for word, and I'm like... I know. I saw it already. I really didn't need to hear it twice with an extra dose of you making it sound like I don't know anything. It drives me crazy. CUT IT OUT.

☁ Aaaaaaaand there was a house centipede in the tub when I took a shower this afternoon. :(


(no subject)

Thursday, August 18th, 2011 05:22 am
verloren1983: (Cookies)
☁ Via Lish: A very well written article that explains why throwing out religious platitudes to an Atheist while they're grieving can be offensive to them. Before I get into any of this, I should possibly clarify for some of you, since I don't generally talk about religion- I'm an Atheist. Well. More accurately, I'm an odd Atheist/Agnostic mix, meaning that while I absolutely don't believe in God or Heaven or Hell or any of that, I'm also willing to admit that there's really no way of knowing for sure, one way or another. I'm cool with other religions as long as someone's not trying to convert me or it's not being shoved down my throat. It's not something I make a big deal of because it's not something that affects my life on a daily basis. Anyway. This was so not the point. Onward!

I had a conversation with Lish about this, which I'm not going to totally rehash, but to me it basically boils down to respecting other people's beliefs. A lot of people don't understand Atheism, and for many of these, it's just not on their radar at all. It's a thoughtlessness. They assume, well, it would be comforting to ME, so it must be to THEM. Nevermind that "I'm sorry for your loss" is just as easy to say, and offering whatever assistance you can will mean more. Personally, I'm in the "it doesn't bother me that much" camp, in general, unless they go on about it forever or I hear it a thousand times in ten minutes. I get the meaning behind it, and I appreciate it, even though it doesn't help. Though the whole "god's will" thing is an exception- that IS hurtful and offensive, and I seem to remember walking away from people who have said that to me. The bottom line here: be considerate and respectful of the person grieving. That's all. And isn't that true regardless of who they pray to (or don't pray to)? (*cough* I just totally wrote "prey" instead of "pray". Nice Freudian slip there, Ver. XD)

This is too cute. I don't even like kids, and this made me want to hug him. The parents, too. He's a lucky kid to have such accepting and open-minded parents. That being said, assuming it's not something he ends up growing out of later- knowing you're gay at six? Just. Wow. O_o

☁ I read this book yesterday that is, for some reason I have yet to figure out, bringing a couple of original muses back to the foreground of my mind. I haven't thought about them, or their story, in ages. The book isn't even related to the story in any way, except one character's tendency to overthink things. WTF brain?

I don't know, maybe I should look at it again. I stopped due to a nasty case of writer's block- I got two characters in a particular situation and couldn't figure out how to get them out of it- but maybe if I approach it from a different angle? The other problem was that I found that the more I wrote, the more I -despised- my main character. The different angle I'm thinking of would solve that as well, because it would shift the main focus from the annoying little brat to someone I actually like. The only problem is that originally, the POV shifted between four different main-ish characters, with the one I call the main as the hub basically. Changing this causes a whole bunch of other issues as far as things being shown. I guess I'll have to try and figure it out at some point.

☁ I read a lot of m/m fiction. (I know that comes as a shock to you all.) It's a genre that's very hit or miss, from my experience. I've read some wonderful things. I've also read things that never should've seen the light of day. Quality of writing is all over the place- not just with things like characters, but with basics like GRAMMAR and PUNCTUATION. I swear to god, some of these editors need to be fired. Anyway. While, obviously, mistakes happen regardless of genre (nobody's perfect), I've NEVER seen this kind of lack of editing or grasp of the basics in ANY other genre.

This does have a point, I swear. I wrote a review on Goodreads of a book recently- the novel was fabulous, by the way, and I said as much- where I mentioned that my expectations had not been terribly high, due to previous experience. Another reader asked me why, and after I explained, she pretty much jumped all over me. Uh... OBVIOUSLY the quality of the book is going to depend on the quality of editing and the ability of the author, regardless of genre. I know that, I'm not a moron. It just seems that there are lesser quality editors at m/m publishers. Or, also possible, is that certain m/m publishers put quantity over quality. I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE MY OPINION, LEAVE ME ALONE, WOMAN! The best part? She hasn't even read the book in question. So now, according to her, she's going to have to read it because I held up up as an example of good writing. Great. Now if she doesn't like it (And there's a good chance she won't. Looking at the handful of books we have in common, we have VERY different tastes.), then she's going to be up my ass about how I don't know what I'm talking about or whatever. Wonderful. Why do people have to pick fights over stupid shit?

(no subject)

Friday, July 8th, 2011 12:49 am
verloren1983: (Kitty Ahhhh!)
☁ Another soapbox moment- this one may or may not make me sound completely heartless. Fair warning.

I have had it up to here with this whole Caylee Anthony case. Not really the thing itself- it's a tragedy that a little girl is dead, and even though I know very little about the case, I know that there are things that are suspect. However. I wasn't in the jury. I didn't hear all of the details like they did. Hell, most people didn't. What makes everyone assume that they know better than the people that heard the whole thing and determined that the mother wasn't guilty? Furthermore, what the hell do they think whining about the verdict on Facebook is going to do? IT'S DONE. There's nothing anybody can do about it now. No amount of bitching to everyone in a 100 mile radius is going to change it. If I see yet another status change, picture change, link, or poll related to this shit I'm going to flip out. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

...yes, my body decided to do the girl thing today. How did you know? <_<

☁ So today was very much Not Fun. Woke up with cramps and it just went downhill from there. Cramps weren't the worst I've ever had, but they weren't the milder (for me) ones either. So I was in pain all day, even with medication and a heating pad. Had to work with the Thursday person I hate. Found out someone complained about me, which I knew was going to happen (Long story- basically, I can get yelled at for no reason by a customer for only so long without getting a little irritable. I wasn't all out rude, but I was a bit short with her.), but that didn't make it any easier to get lectured about it. A different customer flipped out on me because a co-worker did something incredibly stupid yesterday, which she's done before and been talked to about doing before. Plus a couple of other gems I discovered during the day. I ended up leaving a clearly PISSED OFF note for her. Usually I reign the anger in when I write notes like that, but this time I didn't really (still no swearing though, I'm proud of myself. :P) So we'll see what happens with that, if anything.

Basically I came home and just completely zoned out for about ten minutes. I feel like it helped, but at the same time it scared me a little too because it wasn't planned. Just all of a sudden, woo, brain not there, and I'm just staring at my laptop screen and not really seeing it for ten minutes. I wonder if that's something I should worry about. :/

☁ Also, weirdly, Kelly made the comment of "well, last I knew you're still a virgin, so..." (it -was- related to the conversation and not totally random, but still.) I kind of gave her a look like O_o and went, "Last I knew I didn't tell you everything about my personal life." Seriously, it's not like I would've been all "GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY! :D" I mean, really. (To a degree she's right, though I've never really been able to puzzle that one out. It's a matter of technicalities all around. Still, that's not the point here.)

All in all, it was a very long and sometimes strange day. Is it Tuesday yet? D:

☁ In other news: This looks like it's going to be really good. Completely heartbreaking, but amazing. I love a good mind fuck. Though Jason Isaacs with an American accent is freaking WEIRD.

verloren1983: (Squee)
As of June 24, 2011, New York State has officially passed same sex marriage. So effective at the end of next month, gay marriage will be legal in my home state. That's just... incredible to me. We took such a blow when California struck it down. I know a lot of us thought that if California of all places didn't legalize it, then we were all screwed. And yet... here we are. Sadly I had to work and didn't get to go down to Albany to see the whole thing happen, but eh. It's enough that it happened. As a gay person, this means so much to me that I can't even describe it. There are no words. Just love.

Cut because I ramble forever~ )

(no subject)

Saturday, June 25th, 2011 01:34 pm
verloren1983: (*facepalm*)

☁ First things first: I've gotten some failed delivery messages in my e-mail for stuff I never sent. I pretty much never send e-mails if I can at all help it. If you happen to get an e-mail from me that doesn't have something in the subject line like "Hey, this is definitely Ver" or something, delete it and PLEASE don't open it. God knows what's in there. I've changed the password on the account and hopefully it'll stop. Worst case scenario, I shut down the account. That's a last resort, though. We'll see what happens over the next few days.

☁ Second things second: the apartment thing. It was two maintenance guys that showed up, who apparently said "much better." I don't know, I was at the library again. So I'm assuming that means that we're good? We'll probably get another letter in a few days with the verdict from the office. The only issue was that they apparently caught it when Kelly was in the shower, and the one guy was INSISTING that OMG they had to get in the bathroom NOW. Um. No. That's creepy. If you want to wait until she's done, that's fine, but you're not going in there while a girl is in the damn shower. Eeew. I guess finally the other guy dragged him off.

In related news, my vague hope of my mother being able to keep the place like this has been tempered with reality- it's been four days and the fridge is already ridiculous again.

☁ Speaking of library, I got my fees taken care of and I have a shiny new card (because even though they're on a library system with 20-some odd others, the one close to me has to be "special", as per usual. Typical of the town I live in. So... I can actually take stuff from the library again! Yay! \o/

☁ I just slept for 14 hours... and I'm still sleepy. Clearly I needed it though. Ugh.

☁ I have a giant zit on my cheek. I still have acne, but this is HUGE. I haven't had one like this since I was a teenager. At least it's going down, albiet a lot slower than I'd like. Mostly it's just embarrassing. I know it was just from stress, but I'm too damn old for this.

☁ The last couple of days have been total "eat everything in sight" days. I probably don't want to get on the scale anytime soon. I might totally break down. It hasn't been quite this bad in a long time. I'm going to have to not eat for a week to make up for it. :/

verloren1983: (Kitty Ahhhh!)

☁ The verdict? After everything, they're not coming until FRIDAY. *growls* I wanted it done and over with, but no. They couldn't even be bothered to call- Kelly ended up calling and one of the maintenance guys found out for her. They were probably trying to catch us off guard. I swear to God, if they show up when I'm trying to get ready for work, I'm going to pitch a fit. Seriously. NOT FUCKING COOL.

Though really, I got to spend the day at the library, and there are worse ways to spend the day. :D Should do this more often.

☁ A little bit confused at the moment. At the library, I grabbed a box that said it was the first season of Doctor Who (because I keep hearing about it, and what else was I going to do, so what the hell). But apparently it's the 9th doctor, so what the hell? And Stef told me that it's the first season. But I know there are other seasons and other Doctors before that. What the fuck is that about?

Also the girl that plays Rose is freaking adorable. Just saying. The effects are so horrifically bad it's hysterical. I mean, I know it was six years ago, but IT WAS ONLY SIX YEARS AGO. And I should probably figure out where I can watch more, because the second DVD at the library doesn't work. Bastards. Edit: Apparently there's a whole website dedicated to it. Huzzah.

☁ How is it that even when I'm by myself at the library, drama seems to happen? Seriously. Kelly texted me saying that she saw an old friend of the family and he wants to see us and catch up. This is the only guy I've ever had any kind of sexual experience with, which for some ungodly reason I allowed to happen, but it was kinda bordering on non-con. It's complicated. XD And that was the last time I saw him- almost five years ago- and he has since been in prison for rape. BIG SURPRISE. Oh, and did I mention that he's married and has a son that's probably like seven or eight now? Well, okay, I don't know if he's STILL married after everything, but he was married at the time. JFC. I don't want to see him, I don't I don't I don't. But if I -say- that, it'll look weird and I never actually TOLD anybody what happened and GAH. *tears hair out*


(no subject)

Thursday, June 9th, 2011 02:54 am
verloren1983: (Aww Crap)
Fair warning- I'm probably going to be pretty scarce the next couple of weeks. CLEAN ALL THE THINGS- Cut for FLAIL! )

☁ I totally didn't keep up with the online writing class I'd signed up for, but I saved everything for later and took the final exam (multiple choice on the material- I've always rocked at those :D), since that's due Friday. Got 100% and therefore earned my certificate for it since that's the only thing that counts. Yay. And now I know that online doesn't work for me. ^_^;;; Sad, but at least now there's not a question.

☁ New bras~ I'm actually clearly a little bit over a DDD, but not enough to move up to an F. It's nothing that a little maneuvering can't fix, so I'm not going to worry about it. Buy one get one half, so I got a bluish grey one and a brown one. So at least I have a couple of basic bras that fit. (It's so nice to consider something besides nude and black "basic"!) It's funny, changing back into one of the old ones after trying on the new size really hammered home for me exactly how much it really doesn't fit. It was just all of a sudden "Holy crap, how have I been wearing these all this time?" Also, I actually look more proportional now. I mean, I still have large breasts- obviously- but at least now they match the rest of me better instead of the boobs being pretty much everything you see. If I end up being in this size for a while, I might think about getting one or two more nice ones. We'll see what happens. I'm not spending a ton of money just to change sizes again, you know?

☁ Randomly I'm missing Kingdom Hearts and wanting to play it again. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I can't decide which), my copy is still out on loan. Urgh. I'm also randomly wanting to watch Junjou Romantica again- this is actually doable, since I have it and it's only 24 episodes I think. Probably shouldn't though, I have enough new stuff to watch as it is.

☁ Sadly? This is typical of New York politics- a fucking circus. It's almost as if politicians here aren't happy unless they're making a god damn spectacle of themselves. And people wonder why NY is such a mess? JFC. That being said: yes, he's a jackass, but as long as it doesn't affect his work, I don't see a problem. His personal life is absolutely none of my business. Any indiscretions are between him and his wife, bottom line. (Though seriously, you would think he would've learned from Bill Clinton that it's better to just fess up. Just saying.)

☁ Okay, I need to try to get some sleep- I have a long day of work and then cleaning ahead of me. Oh yeah, and there's going to be some nasty storms too when I'm going into work. Yaaay. Something tells me that the next couple of weeks are going to SUCK.

(no subject)

Wednesday, May 25th, 2011 11:40 pm
verloren1983: (Heh (Hikaru No Go))
☁ Not much of anything is happening in LJ-land today. *pokes it*

☁ I forgot to mention that the New York Post on Sunday had a fabulous Rapture related headline- "WORLD ENDS! Heaven looks exactly like New York City" I totally started cracking up when I saw that on a customer's paper. Customer looked at me like I was nuts, but it was totally worth it. Brilliant. <3

☁ Did I mention that I found a new video game/book/movie/music organization site? Well, I did. Yes, I realize that when you go to the site, it talks about buying and selling, but you can just have "collections" too. You don't have to sell anything if you don't want to. On the upside, if you do decide to sell anything, you can do that really easily from there too. (Though they do take a percentage, but most sites like that do.) I only have some DS games on there so far- it's kind of neat because the way they set it up, it's almost like you're shopping through your own stuff, which is kind of neat. ^_^ Of course, you can buy on the site as well as sell, which could be dangerous. But we'll ignore that.

☁ Stef had me watch Once Upon a Mattress, which was cracky and kind of hysterical. Zooey Deschanel's eyes are kind of weird though, aren't they? It seems like she's always like O_O, at least in this movie, and it was a bit off putting. Though Google shows plenty of pictures where she looks normal, so I think it's just a thing she does. She's a pretty girl, but seriously, this? Creepy.

☁ Sobering fact I just learned: in over HALF of the country, 29 states in fact, you can legally be refused service in a restaurant because of your sexual orientation. Just. There are no words. New York is thankfully not one of them, but Texas is. Which isn't actually surprising, but it's disheartening. The list: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wyoming.

Many of those aren't a surprise. The southern states especially, and to a lesser degree, the Midwestern ones. But PA? Really? I don't really think a state that boasts "The City of Brotherly Love" really has any room to discriminate against gay people, but whatever. It's just disappointing that in 2011, so much of the country is still hell-bent on making our lives miserable.

☁ Related: This is disgusting. It's not up to doctors to make judgements about who their patients are. They're supposed to DO THEIR JOB. Funny how the two religious people didn't seem to care, but the doctors did. This isn't the first time we've heard something like this, of course, but the fact that this KEEPS HAPPENING is proof that we need marriage rights. What we have isn't good enough, because they can ignore it when you have all of the legal documentation that you're supposed to need. Civil unions are not enough. We need marriage or this kind of despicable behavior is just going to continue.

Suikoden rambling, for those that care~ )

(no subject)

Thursday, May 12th, 2011 02:30 am
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
(I was going to cut this, but DW only wants to cut the first paragraph no matter what I do, so pffft. This is your cut: This entry is mostly rambling and some depressed shit. Consider yourself warned.)

☁ It's been GORGEOUS, so it was out and about to do stuff over my days off. I went and got my hair cut yesterday. It's super short, totally love it. Predictably, my family doesn't. Oh well. Then I went downtown today- I wanted to see exactly how long it takes to get from the bus stop to the lakehouse in the park where the 5k registration is supposed to be. Those things are kind of nice to know ahead of time. It was about as long as I'd thought- 20 minutes, give or take a little depending on traffic and whatnot. It was a nice day to hang out in the park. I brought my camera and took a bunch of tulipy pictures. :D

The snag, though, is that because the bus stops are kind of oddball times for me, because they're obviously catering to the students and 9-5 crowd, I ended up staying downtown ALL DAY by myself. Which... yeah, got pretty boring after a while. Oh, and I'd had pretty much no sleep. So that bit was fun. It really wasn't until the end of the day, when I was waiting for the bus, that I really started lagging though. And that's considering I walked all over the place all day, just kind of exploring. I've never spent a significant amount of time down there. It was kind of funny, though- the first person I saw upon getting off the bus was an older guy that was talking to the sidewalk. I couldn't quite pick up what he was saying through my headphones- just as well, really, he seemed angry- but I did catch "Bitch." I almost busted up laughing right then and there, but figured it was probably not a good idea to upset the crazy man. XDDD Oh, Albany. Never change. <3

In other news, I'm sunburned because I forgot sunblock like an idiot, I have blisters on the bottoms of my feet, and I'm totally exhausted- but mostly it was worth it. I think if I do something like that again, I'll chill out in the shade in the park for a lot longer. Though hey, I did get brave and hung out in one of the gay bars for the last hour or so. At that hour there was only a few people there, but still. Before today I could count on one hand the number of bars I'd been to, and two of them were straight ones. And even so much as last year, I never would've had the balls to go in there by myself, almost empty or not. So. Progress.

☁ I did see a few "for rent" signs that could be possibilities financially. It's tempting. It really, really is. Within walking distance to the city park? Yes, please! The problem there would be work, though. With the awkwardness of the bus times, that would just be. Ugh. And Sundays are a total no go unless I worked in the morning. So basically, I would piss off my boss because I'd have to change my entire schedule around. I know I would lose hours in the process- I work the shift I do because I like second shift, yes, but also because that's when they need me. Go where the hours are, yo. And losing hours would be Not Good with the whole paying rent thing and all. So I don't know. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

☁ I don't know, I'm just feeling more and more recently like I'm stuck in this box that I can't escape from no matter how hard I flail and try to bust it open. I can't be myself. I'm living with the most manipulative person I've ever known, and every day there's something I've got to defend myself against. I'm constantly on guard and that's just freaking exhausting. Every time I think I've figured out how to open the box, I'm reminded of why I can't. I'm so sick and frustrated of all this I don't even have words... but I've been trying for so long and I'm so tired. I don't know that it's worth it anymore. Maybe I should just deal with the fact that I will be stuck here FOREVER and be done with it. Let's face it, even if I did find an apartment, mommie dearest would probably figure out a way to guilt trip me or manipulate me into staying anyway.

☁ Of course, now I feel like I did absolutely nothing on my days off because I wasn't here. I'm half debating whether I want to go to bed pretty soon, even though it's still pretty early, or to try and push through until 4 or so and maybe get a few things done. I'm so tired though. I'm not sure I could concentrate properly anyway. -_-

☁ Started playing with Google Chrome- okay, I'm still not thrilled that the tabs are right at the top of the screen (it's just... a thing, I guess), but other than that, I really like it. There's an equivalent of LJLogin, for example. Also they have a zillion really cool apps and extensions. Like a Mario crossover game- seriously, how cool is it to go through Super Mario Brothers as freaking Link, Zelda music and all?

☁ LJ changed the navigation bar- love it~

Alright. Going to try to go to sleep, I think. Hopefully I can, being so overtired. It's quite a bit later now than when I started this, so I don't feel totally ridiculous going to bed now. Night all~

(no subject)

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011 04:10 pm
verloren1983: (fma: to new adventures!)
☁ Is it just me or is LJ being really super slow today?

☁ I was remixed for Remix Madness. TWICE. They are also both better than the original fics, which is both thrilling and terrifying at the same time. So. We have Natural (The 'People Put Their Mouths There?!' Remix) and Dignity, or Lack Thereof (The Everybody Loses Remix). Both are awesome. I sadly didn't write anything for it because I've been trying to BG and failing as it is, so. Heh. ^_^;;;

☁ A word of advice: don't be an asshole to the person developing your pictures. There was this guy yesterday that insisted on using the hour machine even though he wanted his prints ZOMGRITENAO, as opposed to the instant machine that I was trying to steer him to- and then had a cow because I kept emphasizing HOUR MACHINE. "But you can do them in ten minutes!" Um, it depends on how many pictures you've got, size, and the orders that are in front of you (because obviously if I have 500 pictures that are printing for someone else, you're gonna be waiting a while. Doesn't matter if you 'only have one.' Nothing I can do about that.) And, yes, how much of a dick you are to me. If you're a gigantic asshole? You better believe I'm going to make you wait the whole hour even if you have one 4 inch print (takes about five minutes if there's nothing else in queue). DO NOT FUCK WITH ME.

He kept arguing with me about how long HE thought it should take. So guess who got to wait the whole god damned hour for his 20-something pictures? >D

(I'd like to point out here that it is well within my right to tell him the extra time. Part of my job is time management and making sure that things are done when I tell the customer that they'll be done. Expecting him to wait an hour for prints when he used the machine that is clearly labeled as a "one hour" machine is certainly not unreasonable- and in fact if I had reason, like the previous 500 print example, I could've pushed it back further. If he hadn't been an asshole, I probably would've told him 20 minutes. Getting pics printed and packaged takes extra time when it's just me, myself, and I manning the entire front store. ^_^;;; But then, since he WAS a dick, he probably would've had a cow about the 20 minutes, too.)

☁ Got invited to a walking/running 5k in June that's part of the local Pride thing. I haven't decided whether I'm going to go or not. On one hand, it would be cool, especially since I didn't end up doing the April 5k. On the other hand, I'd have to get up at 6:30am at the absolute latest to take the bus, and that STILL wouldn't get me to registration on time (it's the earliest bus, btw). I don't think I have to be there exactly at 8 though. Or I'd have to call a cab and spend god knows how much for a ride downtown. I don't know. I have a couple of weeks to decide, registration is due at the end of the month.

The parade and PrideFest are the following day... I've always wanted to go and have never been able to because I always find out about the dates too late to ask for it off... I don't know how comfortable I am going to all of that by myself though. It's not like I can beg Erin to go with me. :/ But I dunno, I still want to. It's kind of pathetic that I've never been. And at least that way I don't have to worry about losing anybody and I can take my time doing whatever I feel like. I think my biggest concern is getting lost- I have a TERRIBLE sense of direction. I could probably get lost in a paper bag. But... I could probably just print off a map and the bus schedules I would need. Worst case scenario, I have my cell phone and I call a cab to go home. Right? Could be fun. I'm actually kind of reminded of a LOLcat pic here. ^_^;;;

☁ Watching Shuffle, which a coworker keeps suggesting to me. I'm four episodes into it. It's... pretty much a typical harem type anime? The main guy is kind of a dick and I'm really trying to figure out why in hell he's got all these girls in love with him... but again, that's typical of that genre. It has its moments, though. I also watched a few episodes of the new My Little Pony show for reasons I have yet to figure out. It is, frighteningly enough, not completely terrible. O_o So we shall see.

Now. Off to make the lasagna I've been putting off for weeks because I'm lazy, WRITE, clean, at some point check whatever homework I've accumulated while I haven't been paying attention to it (ugh, this online thing is SO not working for me so far), watch some more stuff, and maybe go for a walk later if I'm feeling up to that. Since I really need to start doing that again. Oh, and I need to go to the store because apparently the second bag of broccoli I bought for previously mentioned lasagna has conveniently disappeared. And apparently the tomato sauce as well. *GROWL* Salady things probably wouldn't hurt either. Mmm. Leaves. :3

(no subject)

Monday, May 2nd, 2011 04:42 am
verloren1983: (Default)
Today sucked. Like REALLY sucked.

1. Ate breakfast and not even five minutes later I was running to the bathroom. :/ I didn't actually throw up, I just really, really thought I was going to. It never completely went away, either- I've been sick to my stomach all freaking day.
2. Got to work and found out that Mike called out (in other words, maybe the stomach thing is a bug that's going around and not a 'my body hates me' related thing like I'd assumed it was, yaaaaaaaaaaaay. -_-), so it was just me and Jeremy. On a truck night. Oh, and it was busy and people were being FUCKING insane. Okay, perfect example: I had a woman that wanted a price adjustment from a few days ago (for a coupon we can't even take, but whatever). She didn't seem to understand anything I said to her and I had to repeat everything I said three times- and even then, some things still didn't seem to sink in. (It was not a language barrier, she spoke perfect English. It was a stupidity barrier.) I did the price adjustment for the two waters on her receipt, having to explain to her what I was doing about four times, she bought her other stuff, and when we were done I put the bottle of water I used for the adjustment to the side so I can take the next customer. Finally. Then she goes, "Can't I take that?" Um, no? We're not going to let you just walk off with shit you haven't paid for. "You already have them at home, right?" "Well yeah, but I wanted another one." " never said that." "Oh. Well, I want another one." GAH! You couldn't have said that, oh I don't know, BEFORE I rang all your other shit up? So yeah. It was that kind of crap all day today.
3. At some point I apparently did something to myself- I went "Ow, my chin kind of hurts," put my finger on it, and... oh look, I'm bleeding. >_< I put a band aid on my chin to deal with it and therefore looked like a total tool for the rest of the day, but I can't be bothered to care.
4. We've had this woman coming in every day for a few days now that drops off ten bazillion things for us to do for photo and totally backs everything up. I ended up staying an hour late dealing with that whole mess. Remember, still don't feel well.
5. I went home and discovered that I left my keys at work. Luckily I've learned from previous airheadedness in regards to that and keep an extra set of keys in my workbag. I grabbed some garbage to go out and went to the grocery store for a few things. I'd finished getting my stuff and was on the way to go pay when I realized I DIDN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING MONEY. My bank card was in my god damned work bag that I dropped off at the house. >_< SO I put the stuff back, walked back home, got money, went back to the store, and got my fucking groceries. I was seriously considering alcohol at that point, but quickly realized that it would probably just make me sicker anyway. Oh, and the cashier that was there is a chatty one, so he yapped at me for fucking ever when I just wanted to get the hell home... but I haven't seen him in a while, so I didn't want to be a total asshole and take off.

The only good thing about today? Osama Bin Laden is finally dead. Yes, I realize that there are going to be people to take his place... but at least he can't hurt anybody anymore. I'm sitting here watching Obama's speech in tears, no lie, and I'm not one that cries easily. It's easy to forget how wonderful a speaker he is until you're confronted with it- this is twice in a few days now, the other one being after they released his birth certificate- again, because apparently the short form wasn't good enough *eyeroll*. The second isn't in the same league, I don't think, and he was CLEARLY angry (I don't blame him one bit for that!), but still, he kept his cool and it was a good speech. Now maybe we can put this incredibly racist birther crap aside (I'm looking at you, Donald Trump, you piece of shit) and move on to other things. As Obama said, "We've got better things to do."

In other news, I wrote some for bg. Not even 100 words of epic terrible, mind, but it's something. (I'm totally going to do day 2 of the meme, just. Not right now. Need sleep. Maybe when I wake up, the day will be not full of epic suck.)

(no subject)

Saturday, April 30th, 2011 01:46 pm
verloren1983: (*facepalm*)
[info]help_japan  is baked, sent, and totally done. Phew. ^_^;;; Remind me to just straight up donate money next time. Hopefully they live up to expectation!

☁ So I saw the apartment on Thursday. It's roughly a 20 minute walk from between there and work, which isn't bad (and hey, built in exercise :D). It's on a nice quiet side street and I would no longer have to cross a major road to get to work every day. The girl seems nice (cute too, but alas, straight). I think it went well- for me- but I tend to be pretty awkward and quiet with people I don't know, so eh. We'll see. ^_^;;; I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. The apartment itself is small, but cute, and the bedrooms are a decent size. Then again... it could be a CLOSET at this point and I'd be like, "Great! :D" So it not being a closet is a definite plus. There's also a gray and white kitty whose name I can't remember at the moment. Really, the only thing that I didn't like is that the people downstairs in the main part of the house have two dogs. So when you first walk in, that's all you smell- DOG. You don't smell it up in the apartment, though. The bathroom is also super tiny, but I can deal. She's going to keep me updated, so we'll see what happens with that. *sends good vibes to potential roommate~ pick me, pick me~*

On the upside, even if I don't get it, maybe I can use moving as a motivation to CLEAN MY DAMN HOUSE. Needs to be done anyway.

☁ Got another random bunny for [info]blind_go , which is good, but it's worse than the other one, which is BAD. *stabs brain* Either way, it's due in a little over FOUR DAYS, so... I need to write SOMETHING. >_< Dammit.

☁ Hourou Musuko has been licensed in the US! *shock* Never thought THAT would happen. Volume 1 is apparently coming out this summer. The downside? The website has it listed as $25. Seriously, you guys? I get that part of it is because it's in hardcover (why?)... but come on. Release it in paperback like a normal manga. Regular books typically go to hardcover first, yes- but with typical books, we're not going to be buying volume after volume after volume. YOU DON'T NEED TO HIKE THE GOD DAMN PRICE UP BEYOND ALL REASON.

☁ Had a weird guy hit on me at work the other day. O_o I've never understood why some men think it's okay to do that. I AM AT WORK. Not only that, but they're hitting on someone that can't tell them to buzz off. If I turn this guy down, he could call corporate, make something up, and I could lose my job. So no, I don't feel comfortable saying no. My company doesn't support its own policies when a customer complains (I have a coworker that was burned by this. He followed company policy, the customer called and bitched, corporate then acted as if he did something wrong and he got in trouble for it), you really think they're going to back me up on something like this? Pfffft.

It wasn't ZOMG THE MOST TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE EVER obviously, but it was damn uncomfortable and I just don't get why some people feel the need to do that. O_o Not interested. GO AWAY.

☁ Between borrowing money from savings and not paying it back and just not putting money into savings every week, I've managed to owe $593.50 to my savings account. >_< Yes, it's to myself and not really that important, but it IS. Especially if I get this apartment, because I'm going to have to spend some of that for stuff. A bed, for example. I'm not moving my current one anywhere but the garbage heap. Possibly a TV. It would be AWESOME if I could scrounge together a kind of scrapbooking station, but that may have to wait a bit. It's something I'm intending on doing at some point regardless- I desperately need ONE place to put all that stuff so it won't get lost or damaged. And then maybe I can actually SCRAPBOOK once in a while. That would be nice.
verloren1983: (Kitty Ahhhh!)
☁ I was asked to post these, so to my absolute mortification, here you go. These icons are totally Lish's fault. Just... don't even ask. Seriously. Though I need to mess around more with the first one because I still don't like it.


☁ Been re-reading some old Harry/Draco fic. Hell, I missed these two. <3 It's totally not helping me write [info]blind_go , though. Pffft. I've also been DL-ing a lot of PoT doujin lately. XDDD

☁ Also fandom related: people have been posting to the kink meme, which is hysterical since it's three years old. I generally still get posts on it every once in a while, but the sudden interest is amusing. :P

☁ And speaking of Harry Potter, couple of annoyances about the new release of Deathly Hallows Part 1. The first is that Walmart had an exclusive on the special edition DVD. Really, WB? I know the studios are trying to push the Bluray, but honestly. I don't have a Bluray player. I have no intention of purchasing one- if I'm going to spend the money, I might as well save a bit more and buy a PS3 so I can play games on the damn thing. STOP TRYING TO SHOVE THE FUCKING BLURAY DOWN MY THROAT.


The other thing that pissed me off was actually in the deleted scenes. Now... when I saw DH1 in the theater, I was incredibly disappointed that it didn't have the scene with Harry and Dudley when the Dursley's were leaving. It was a big moment for the both of them. But guess what? It was in the special features. What the ever loving hell. I think it's WORSE, knowing that they filmed it and decided that it WASN'T IMPORTANT, as opposed to not shooting it (there could've been a number of reasons why they didn't end up shooting it, after all). Seriously. What the fuck, WB.


☁ Dear Mother Nature: We had about 50 thousand feet of snow this winter- I promise you, the ground doesn't need anymore water for a while. Possibly the entire summer. You don't need to rain all freaking week. No love, Ver

☁ Class started today. So as part of my first assignment, I'm supposed to be reading at least one book about writing and/or creativity. I have a bunch on my laptop that I have yet to read (in addition to one or two physical ones whose whereabouts are currently unknown), so I decided to look through. Just on the lappy, I have enough that I could read two books a week for almost the entire length of the course. O_o And only three of the 20 are grammar centered. *headdesk* Although on the other hand, it's as good of an excuse as any to get some of those under my belt?

The other part of the assignment is to get a "writer's journal", which isn't a problem because I have a zillion empty notebooks. Unofficial assignments through the course include writing for 10 minutes a day NO MATTER WHAT and to spend at least an hour a week doing something creative besides writing (I'm thinking scrapbooking/playing in photoshop. :D)

Possibly triggery/TMI, who knows. Cut just in case. )
verloren1983: (Sigh)
☁ Hikago peeps- don't forget about [ profile] blind_go  sign ups! They end TODAY, so if you were planning on signing up and haven't yet, go ahead and do it! Also remember the support thread too, even if you're not writing this time around. Readers are totally awesome too. :D

☁ LJ: FAIL. I know it's not their fault, really, but that doesn't make the recent issues any less ANNOYING AS HELL. I guess it really makes you realize how much time you spend on a site when it's down, though. I've been kind of left going, "Er, now what?" a lot of the time since this whole thing started. XD Oh, and is it just me that's still having problems? LJ still won't load half the time. :/

☁ Totally getting sick, I can feel it in the back of my nose and throat. I know I'm due for it, but. DO NOT WANT!

☁ I got my replacement mastercard in the mail today. Yaaaay. Though I still have yet to get a bill from March. I don't know whether that's something I should be worrying about yet. <_<

☁ My workplace has decided to change weekly paychecks into biweekly paychecks over the summer. Which, quite honestly, BLOWS. They're giving us all this bullshit about how it doesn't affect how much money we get... yeah, actually, it does. Bigger paychecks mean that more money gets taken out in taxes. So effectively, it affects us like a paycut. This in addition to the fact that insurance is going up again this year. Thanks, guys. Really. Not to mention that the first week without a paycheck is going to hit hard financially- especially since the way they have it planned, we'll only get paid for a partial week. Do they not realize that when they pay their employees like shit, said employees can't afford to last two weeks on half a week's pay? Apparently not. Bastards.

☁ Because EVERYONE IRL seems to be doing this to me lately: Why is it that people don't get that if I have headphones on, I AM NOT INTERESTED IN CONVERSATION? Seriously, how hard is that to figure out? I am clearly listening to music/ watching something/ avoiding talking to you. Unless there's some kind of emergency, go away. Jeez.

☁ Apparently brand for Greek yogurt matters? I didn't know that until I ended up trying a new one when the store didn't have what I usually get. Oh. My. Freaking. GOD. Apparently, Stonyfield > Yoplait > Chobani, at least to me. I don't know if it's the organic thing or what, but that shit is AWESOME. Especially since Yoplait recently changed theirs, so it's not as good as it was. Biggest problem is that it's also expensive- $2 for a small container. Ugh. Figures.

Also food related- note to self, the cheese pizza lean pockets aren't bad. Hmm.

☁ It occurred to me today that I didn't have a playlist for smutting- just something generic to help with the writing process. Huh. Lish wanted me to post it (and there's a few suggestions from her on here too), so here you go. Just remember that some of these are random. And actually, there's a couple I don't even like but acquired somehow. XD Also, I haven't used this yet. So. I make no claims as to how well this helps. If anybody happens to have any other suggestions, let me know. :D

This is totally longer than I thought it would be. XD )

(no subject)

Tuesday, April 5th, 2011 04:53 am
verloren1983: (Crazy Butterfly)
☁ I signed up for that class- which is both exciting and terrifying all at the same time. I was an idiot and hit the wrong button on the payment, though, so I'll have to send them a check. Annoying, but not a huge deal, thankfully.

☁ Asked for a couple of extra days off near the end of the month- a little four day mini-vacation. I desperately need it. Maybe it'll let me decompress a bit. I'm hoping to get some cleaning done somewhere in there, too.

☁ OH, speaking of work, I have to share this. The uniform shirts for work are smaller than standard shirts- you have to go up at least one size. So I've been wearing a 3x ever since they rolled these things out, right? It finally occurred to me the other day that I should probably get at least one smaller shirt, because the old ones? Are halfway to my knees now. It's a little ridiculous. I got Kerry to give me a new shirt, which turned out to be an XL. Which fucking FIT. It's tighter around the middle than I'm entirely comfortable with, but that's how the 3x used to be too (and I had refused to go up to a 4, heh.) And also I got told "It looks fine, stop it." XDDD

☁ In other news, my father called Kelly on Sunday. She'd written him a letter back in August, which I'd honestly forgotten about, so he called and left a voicemail. Weird. The whole thing is just... very weird to me. I'm happy for her- she's nervous, but if it's a relationship she wants to pursue, she should. As long as no one tries to get me involved, if this is what she wants, then good for her. I feel kind of... strangely detached from it, I guess? Though I suppose it's not so strange because it wasn't me he called. So I don't really get to have feelings about that. I just... don't even think about him that much anymore. He hasn't been a part of my life for a very long time- he barely registers as a blip on my radar now. I won't say that I don't care about anything relating to him at all- if I didn't care, then I would be able to forgive him for everything, because why would it matter? But I can't. I understand why he left. God, do I understand why he left. But I can't forgive the way he just disappeared the way he did. How he left Kelly and I with our mother KNOWING what she was like and just leaving us to fend for ourselves. He was a COWARD and abandoned us in hell... so no, I can't forgive that. While I wouldn't wish anything like death on him, I hope it's something that he thinks about every day. I hope he regrets it every. Single. Day.

☁ Put in a reserve for Hikaru at an RP that will be opening in a few days called Camp Candy. (Just the name is perfect for him, at any rate! :3) He'd probably be the easiest to start with, so I'm going to do that and go from there. The best part is that they allow AU versions of characters, so I think I can bring SW!Al there if I choose to. Later. After I figure out whether the RP is working for me or not. I've never joined an LJ RP all by myself without knowing anybody there before. I'm kind of nervous. XD

☁ Go shoeless today: One Day Without Shoes
verloren1983: (My Own Little World)
☁ Pretty cool Mario theme. There's some other great stuff there too, and the guy can actually sing, so check it out. He talks about it at the end of the video I linked, but he's got his stuff on itunes, and all of the money goes to Japan aid, which is awesome.

☁ Cousin reminded me of Suikoden Tierkreis, so I've started that again as my "work break" game. Couldn't remember enough of where I was to continue on the old save, which sucks because I'd put over 30 hours into it, but what can you do. *sigh* I'd forgotten how god awful some of the voice acting is. There's no middle of the road with voice- they're either good or terrible, that's it. I also forgot how much of a religious overtone there is... but in this case, it has more of an anti-religion stance, so it's not anything overpowering. Oh, and I'm totally reminded that I was shipping Hotupa/Moana. So cuuuuute~ But then I love Moana anyway, she's freaking adorable. And Chrodechild! I'd say I would totally go gay for her if I, uh, wasn't already. I mean, seriously, look at this BAMF lady right here. I like Asad too, though, he's pretty awesome. Even if he's so obviously in love with Chrodechild and she just as obviously doesn't see him that way.

☁ Note to self- when making the cheesecake brownies, when the recipe says you need to do stuff in a separate bowl, they mean in a separate bowl. Turns out that mixing everything together... well, it still tastes good, but it ends up having a weird fudgy consistency instead of being the cakey brownie it's supposed to be. Good to know.

☁ Tried hummus for the first time. It's. Erm. Well, it's not BAD, but I wouldn't have the red pepper kind again. ^_^;;; Not a fan. Which I probably should've known because peppers are not my favorite things, whoops. Good thing it was only a small package with the hummus and some pita chips. I'd have to look at the flavors again, but probably something like garlic would be better.

☁ Half considering looking into RPing again somewhere, because I do miss it, but... eh. I'm not sure I want to go there. Plus I have no idea where I would app or who with or any of that. Meh. I should probably not bother.

Little bit of work ranting- this is why I need a vacation. )
verloren1983: (Irish)
[ profile] blind_go  round 11 is up- go sign up! The theme this time is "Childhood", which is going to be really interesting. It sounds like fun. :3 Also the support thread is up too, even if you're not planning on signing up. Readers are totally awesome too. :D

☁ What makes people think they have the right to make nasty commentary about your attempts to lose weight/eat healthier? I was getting some cereal, and since I have a tendency to put WAY too much milk in cereal, I measure it first. It works for me. Kelly saw me doing this and sneered "You're measuring your milk now? Isn't that going too far?" .....seriously? We proceeded to get into a fight because apparently me telling her that it was none of her business was me being a bitch when she was "just kidding." Right. Because you totally use that disgusted tone of voice when you're joking around with someone.

☁ EEEEEEEEEEE GLEE! Favorite. Episode. EVER. Kelly and I were squeeing through half the episode. I thought my heart would explode from squee. I've watched specific parts a bazillion times now. I've also taken a few screencaps. ^_^;;; And... Rachel's last song ended up good, as much as I hate to admit it. :/ And even though I was afraid at first, Puck's was surprisingly sweet. <3 And the Blaine and Kurt duet! <333!

☁ Edit: Totally forgot to mention this, because I was pissed off at the time... Kelly's boyfriend asked her if she was sure she wasn't faking being straight, when she mentioned watching Glee (Which I don't get, by the way- I know of a guy that was harrassed for being gay because he watches it, but if you're a girl, you're gay if you watch it? What? How does that make any sense in homophobe-logic? It doesn't follow their rules. Does not compute.) Anyway, Kelly turned to me and was like, "How do you fake being straight?" In all seriousness. I almost laughed at her, thinking "I don't know, I've never been any good at it." I mean really, how do you even answer something like that? XD
verloren1983: (Aww Crap)
There's a lot going on in the news right now, none of it good for varying reasons.

- Japan: My god. There's really not a lot that I can say here except that my thoughts are with them. What's happening over there right now is horrific, and I can't even imagine how terrifying that must be.

- A disturbing story courtesy of [ profile] hostilecrayon - Basically, an 11 year old girl in Texas got gang raped, and the god damned New York Times decided to run an article that more or less blamed her and her mother for the rape. Jesus Christ. There's a link in what I've linked to the original article and also to a petition to get an apology from the Times. It's the least they should be doing. The guy that wrote it should be fired. At best, it's irresponsible reporting. At worst... well... rape culture rears its ugly head yet again. This is the sickest thing I've seen in a while. There are no words to express my rage and disgust at this whole thing. Really, just... no words.

- My family is having a cow about the Supreme Court deciding that people protesting at soldier's funerals is protected by the 1st Amendment. Now, I'm not saying that protesting at ANYONE'S funeral is the right thing to do, because it's not. But first of all- they've never stopped this kind of behavior before. People have protested at the funerals of gays- I could be wrong, but I seem to remember people protesting at Matthew Shepard's funeral. I'm sure there are other examples that I'm just not thinking of at this hour of the morning. If you're going to try to restrict that kind of thing, you need to make sure it's across the board. Not just for military folk. Second of all, restrictions on the Bill of Rights always make me uncomfortable. It's a slippery slope. If they restrict one thing, then who's to say they're not going to keep doing it? One really only has to look at the US post 9/11 to see how true that is. It's always a matter of concern when they start stripping our rights, regardless of how disgusting I personally find certain behaviors. I don't think people should protest at a funeral, period. I also don't agree with the 2nd Amendment, but you know what? We have a right to those things if we choose- it's up to us whether we use them responsibly or not. You can use your right to bear arms to keep a gun in the house to protect yourself against an invader. Conversely, you can shoot yourself in the foot. It's up to you. Really, it comes down to an old philosophy that is a foundation that the US was built on: "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

....why do bad things always come in threes?

Spammy spam spam

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011 02:17 am
verloren1983: (Up To No Good)
What is it with all the posting lately? O_o

1. People who post to craigslist and don't e-mail you back suck. Just saying.

2. Have now seen the first six episodes of Fairy Tail and I already love it. <3 The good news is that RL has up through episode 68, so that'll keep me going a while. Plus it turns out that it's SIX eps of Hourou Musuko subbed already (!), so I have those to watch as well. I watched the first, and apparently they're starting in the middle somewhere, and it's kind of depressing. I can't help but think that it would be confusing for someone who hadn't read the manga already. The art/coloring is different, though, kind of... watercolory? I like it. ^_^ Also they use some Debussy for background music! <3 <3 <3 Also downloaded Pandora Hearts, since I've been meaning to watch that too and it's a shorter series.

3. That being said, I didn't do anything on my days off except for watch anime, play the Urbz, bake some more brownies for work tomorrow, and chat with Lish and Pye. Definitely a lazy couple of days. It was nice, but I probably should've done some actual work, heh.

4. Totally forgot to mention that I had another sort of "Do I have a rainbow on my forehead?" moment the other day. XD One of my coworkers, Mike, likes to point out girls he would like to fuck (subtly, mind, he doesn't announce it or anything), though he generally likes women younger and thinner than I do. I usually call him a pig and sometimes a pedo and it's all in good fun. ^_^ So anyway, he'd pointed a woman out. She was WAY too thin for my taste- seriously, she was in the "I want to take her home just to FEED her" category- but I'll admit she had a nice ass. Which, yes, I'll also admit that I might've... automatically looked at as she passed us, and this was after I'd given a thumbs down for too skinny. Once she was out of sight, Mike was like "I TOTALLY SAW THAT!" Um. Whoops? ^_^;;;;;;;;;; This is so why I'm not a ninja.

(no subject)

Wednesday, February 9th, 2011 06:05 am
verloren1983: (*facepalm*)
-I should probably not mention this, but I'm going to anyway because if I have to live with it, I'm going to inflict it on you guys: I have actually posted something on the writing journal. It's completely terrible. No, it's not the previously mentioned smut fic, though there's just a touch of that in this- something in RP pinged me all of a sudden and my brain started developing an ill thought out back story to a character, and... yeah. As I said, it's horrible, but at least it's SOMETHING. Which is better than not writing at all. Right? *crickets*

*cough* Anyway, it's here, for anybody who may be a glutton for punishment. XD

-Also god, I really need to catch that journal up. It makes it look like I haven't written anything since '08, which is absolutely not true. Okay, I'll grant you that I haven't written -a lot- in the last couple of years, but still. I think that should be my next project.

-Finally made those black forest cheesecake brownies Sunday night to bring into work Monday. Oh my GOD, you guys, these things were freaking awesome, and I don't even like cheesecake. I think I like these better than the peanut butter ones- and that's saying something. However, it leaves me with a dilemna- the recipe involved frosting, which is fine, except I have a ton of it left. Frosting is only good for so long. Meh. I bought some cake mix on sale and might do cupcakes or something? Aside from possibly making the brownies again. What do you guys think of cherry frosting and a butter pecan cake with maybe some chocolate chips mixed in? ^_^;;; (What can I say, I'm a fan of taking mixes and altering them, heh.)

-Weird thing: the other day, someone drove past me as I was walking to work and beeped at me. I couldn't tell who it was (I suck at identifying people in moving vehicles, pfft), but I did see that they flipped me off. WTF? I wished it was summer just for the fact that then they probably would've had the window down and they would've shouted at me whatever the hell their problem was. Though it's probably a little twisted that I'd rather be shouted at than left going "Bzuh? O_o"

-Other weird thing: Had a couple of customers get into it in the store (basically, she was holding up the line and he politely requested that she move it along- she pitched an absolute FIT at him, to put it mildly), which was crazy enough, but then... the woman actually FOLLOWED HIM HOME. I'm not even kidding, the guy came back later and told me. Cue Ver expression: O_O!!! People are freaking PSYCHOTIC.

-I think I got Kelly to agree to watch Glee with me for the trainwrecky lulz. Should be fun breaking her brain. XD

I keep falling asleep, so probably time I put this away. \o
verloren1983: (You Suck (Hikaru No Go))
I really, really hope that today wasn't an indicator of how the whole year will go, because seriously? I'll have to curl up in a corner somewhere and cry.

1. One of the many reasons I almost never drink: even if I have one, I feel like utter shit the next day. So I had a couple of godiva-and-milks around midnight (much more milk than godiva, I assure you XD), and sure enough, felt like shit.
2. On top of the previous, my body decided that it hates me. Pamprin wasn't touching the cramps, either. UGH.
3. Didn't have a thermacare patch for said cramps. Work was out of them, so tried a store brand, which turned out to be freaking useless. So basically, I was in a lot of pain all day.
4. Because the day wasn't shitty enough: I found out while I was at work that a friend got gaybashed last night. He's okay, but... ugh. :/ I later discovered it was a fucking bouncer at a straight bar, who apparently followed Paul out of the place and attacked him. The other bouncers had to actually pull the guy off of him. God. I'm actually kind of glad I wasn't there, because I would've flipped out and wouldn't that have been ridiculous? 4'11" me shouting at a big bouncer type guy. XDDD Still, it's scary, you know? It's not like he was in the boondocks somewhere, this is Albany. I'll grant you that Albany's certainly not a gay mecca or anything close to that, but people are pretty low-key about the gay thing here, from my experience. At least overall. You always get some assholes, but meh. The important thing is that he's okay, and he did report it. He's more upset about the fact that he has "JOE" imprinted on his face (asshole must've had one of those knuckle ring things that leaves markings) than the actual attack. Go figure.
verloren1983: (One Person A Day)
I'm up doing laundry for a while (yes, I'm aware that it's 6am and it's snowing and windy and fucking cold outside, I need clothes that badly and I know myself well enough that if I can't count on actually waking up on time to do it before work. So 6am it is. XD), so I've decided I'm going to spam you all. Fun, right? I don't post enough anyway, so whatever. :P

1. I've been wanting to watch Prince of Tennis again, but couldn't justify spending the time rewatching that when I have SO many other new things I should be watching instead. However, I had a brilliant beyond brilliant idea today: I started working out again yesterday, though I didn't today because my legs are sore (ow)... I can watch PoT episodes while I'm doing the free step, which I usually do for a half hour. Fucking BRILLIANT, I tell you. ^_^ Now I just have to pull out Ochibi and get those episodes on the laptop. At least the first ones. :D

2. Watched Yogi's First Christmas for the first time since I was a kid- still fairly amusing. Kind of gag-worthy near the end, but most Christmas movies are. Just comes with the territory.

3. In good news, looks like we might actually get "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" thrown out. YAY! Although... there goes my excuse to not join up if there's ever a draft that they include women in. :P

4. Warning: Long angry rants and language involving a blast from the distant past. Proceed with caution. )

Okay. This has gotten long enough and I plan on doing a couple of meme-type things, so there will be another entry shortly. \o

(no subject)

Monday, December 20th, 2010 12:32 am
verloren1983: (AkiHika Snow Cuddle)
1. Haven't posted in a while, but work is killing me. Seriously. I haven't gotten out anywhere close to on time the last three days, and yesterday I didn't leave until 12:30. That's TWO AND A HALF HOURS late. Yeeeeeah. Oh, and then I had the Assistant Manager (who is a complete moron) lecturing me IN FRONT OF A CUSTOMER yesterday about how I needed to be ringing while I was helping people with their picture stuff. It's like... you seriously want me to just walk away from people constantly to ring? It's less than a fucking week before Christmas. As it was, I had a woman bitch at me for a good five minutes today because we're out of the 5x7 greeting card envelopes, so she got the 6x8 ones. I'm not even kidding. Look, it's two inches, and you get the damn envelopes for free anyway. Take them and run. God. And this idiot assistant thinks I have nothing better to do than to sit at the register and ring all day? Fuck.


2. Holiday cards went out Wednesday, so those should be to people soon if they're not already. Except Fei, because I sent them super duper late this year and she may or may not get it on time. Sadness. Also I got Ai's and Shan's cards, thanks you guys! <3

3. I've decided that I'm going to try to watch as many movies off of the "1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die" list. I know I'll get bored with it quickly, but maybe I can at least knock off some of those movies that people always gape at me for when they discover I've never seen them *cough*GoneWiththeWind*cough*. So we'll see. I actually watched two yesterday- there are some in Youtube's movie section, and the first two on the list are about ten minutes each.

A Trip to the Moon
- Cracky and kind of amusing because of that. It actually has effects too, even if they're cheesy as hell. A little bit too long, though, I was definitely getting bored by the end.
The Great Train Robbery- Most random music EVER. It seriously made no sense with what was going on. Also I thought that there were two robbers instead of four for the longest time because they're all dressed the same and you can't see anyone's faces. Boo.

Overall, nothing particularly memorable. I think the coolest thing is that they're from 1902 and 1903, respectively, and they're on YOUTUBE. Movies that are over 100 years old, and I can sit on my laptop and watch them on the INTERNET. Just. Wow. I spent a good portion of The Great Train Robbery trying to wrap my brain around that. XD

At the moment, though, I'm mostly trying to finally finish off The L Word. I saw the first two seasons originally and that was it, so...yeah. I started all over because it's been too long, and I'm in the middle of season two. Not bad for starting this a few days ago. ^_^

4. Just something interesting: I took a little quiz called "What tattoo describes your personality". I got "Koi fish- You have a lot of courage, the ability to attain high goals, and overcoming life's difficulties. So don't let anyone hold you back."



Monday, November 29th, 2010 02:55 am
verloren1983: (Ded- BRB)
Reminder- Holiday Card Post HERE~!

☁ Worked for Thanksgiving, so nothing particularly special. They did bring in Boston Market though, so we had turkey and potatoes and gravy. Mmmmmmm. It was delicious. Totally worth working for, seriously.

I saw my Aunt Linda for a few minutes before I left for work... she loves my hair, apparently, and she went "look at how skinny you're getting!" XD She's a liar, I'm nowhere even close to skinny, but I guess I'll take the compliment. :P

☁ Speaking of work, it's kicking my ass again. Scott's father died, so I ended up going in on Wednesday... another six day work week, hooray! -_- Plus there was Thanksgiving and Black Friday and today was absolute HELL. Let's just say that the morning shift did nothing and we were left with all of their work plus our own. UGH. We totally busted our asses. I would so call in tomorrow if I thought I could get away with it. I'm just EXHAUSTED. Is Christmas over yet?

☁ I ended up spending a small fortune for the Black Friday sales... I really need to learn to stay the hell off of Amazon that week. Most of what I got was DVD's and various Wii things. Went a little nuts, but I didn't get more than half of what I had originally tabbed as a possibility, so I'm taking that as a plus. Before sales tax, it was about $180, but considering the amount of stuff I actually purchased? That's awesome. Also it really wasn't that much worse than last year.

Also hopped over to Threadless since they were apparently having a sale. They didn't have one of the shirts that I -really- wanted (this one), but I did get two cute ones (this and this). Including shipping that was $24, which definitely isn't bad at all either. XL in the men's- we'll see how that goes. If they're a little small that's okay, because hopefully I'll shrink into them at some point.

So overall I'm pretty happy, even though I apparently am a tool and forgot a few things. Oh well. I have some stuff bookmarked that I will hopefully remember the next time I go to order something from Amazon. Which probably won't be until after Christmas anyway.

☁ Haagen-Dazs' "dulce de leche" flavor is my new favorite thing. SO GOOD. Thank god they come in little tiny versions.

☁ I'm seriously considering getting a mattress in a box. God. Yes, I'm that desperate for a new mattress, but the other factor is that this way the delivery is then not going to be a huge production. Hopefully. And getting it set up is really easy, according to reviews. This is... probably another "after Christmas" thing. I probably would've gotten it with my Amazon order, but it was actually on the Walmart site and not on Amazon like I'd thought it was. Whoops. No wonder I couldn't find it. XDDD

☁ More and more TSA stories, some pretty horrifying like actual insertion through clothes, fondling through clothes, sexual harassment, the fact that menstrual pads are apparently a threat to security... the truly bad thing about this is that someone is going to have to sue, or TSA is going to have to try to arrest someone for refusal, and it's going to have to go to the courts. That's how our system works. The government pulls something stupid and then the Supreme Court has to say "Uh, no, you can't do that." But it has to GET to the Supreme Court first. That's the really fucked up part about this, is that something really bad is going to have to happen in order for this to stop... and even then, it's not immediate. It could take YEARS unless TSA gets their heads out of their asses first.

.............I think we all know the chances of THAT one happening.

☁ People are nuts: Guy hacks his mother to death with a sword and then says he was just killing the demon inside of her- warning, the story's pretty graphic. The guy sounds schizophrenic as hell, in which case you have to wonder how no one saw this coming. In this other one, a woman tries to cut in line and then threatens to shoot people when she's understandably called on it.

Man, it's enough to make you want to lock yourself in your house. XD


verloren1983: (Default)

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